Attention

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not represent our advertisers

Thursday, October 06, 2016

Hillary unveils her ultra-exciting superweapon designed to attract millennials: Al Gore

Elderly throwback candidate enlists elderly throwback husband's elderly throwback VP.

It's no secret that Hillary Clinton is throwing everything at the wall, hoping that something will "stick" with millennials. She desperately needs their support but, so far, they're less enthusiastic than one of those panda bears that won't have sex to save its own species. Something has to be done, so Hillary has unveiled her secret millennial-attracting weapon.

You may have heard the thunderous sound of its footsteps as it approaches. Like a dinosaur - a creature out of time emerging from the mists of the primordial past - Al Gore is approaching...

That's right, former Vice President Al Gore. Yes, the now-bloated snake oil salesman who made a vast fortune hyping the end of the world. He is Hillary's secret weapon.

We first heard about this last night, in a tentative report from Andrea Mitchell:

More

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow the Democrats are bringing all the clowns to the circus.

Anonymous said...

He has all the appeal of a used diaper in a parking lot, and is twice as useful.

Anonymous said...

Stand Back! He looks like hes going to explode.

Anonymous said...

ManBearPig is pleased

Anonymous said...

So that's where the polar bears have gone!

Anonymous said...

Inventor of the Internet - Al Friggin Gore!

Anonymous said...

Bloated fake hypocrite bastard.

Anonymous said...

Vomiting!

Anonymous said...

Fat Albert is back.

Anonymous said...

That would be bloated, fake, rich, Democrat hypocrite bastard.

Anonymous said...

Al Gore! He is the Butt End of every weather joke! A rock has more personality, and brains.

Anonymous said...

Wait! He can't be still around, he told us the polar ice caps would melt by 2012 and we would all drowned