Fernando Guerrero does it again
13-0 (11KO)
More to come when Joe gets home.
DelMarVa's Premier Source for News, Opinion, Analysis, and Human Interest Contact Publisher Joe Albero at alberobutzo@wmconnect.com or 410-430-5349
Friday, February 06, 2009
Winner By Unanimous Decision
Fernando Guerrero does it again
13-0 (11KO)
More to come when Joe gets home.
Are You Ready For The Big Fight?
The Press Passes are done, the Fight Card is set, the Ring is complete and the traffic to buy tickets was steady all day today. This Fight is going to get SOLD OUT, you wait and see! There are still tickets available and I'm sure like the last fight, if they sell out the normal amount of tickets they'll open up another wing and pack the Civic Center to the max!
I spent some time with Hal Chernoff earlier and everyone is excited about tonight's fights, especially me. Fernando's entire Family will be at tonight's fight. Can you just imagine being his Brother or Sister, knowing your Brother has Sold Out yet another local event. That must be a really cool feeling!
Anyhow, it's getting that time to start preparing to go to the Civic Center, so perhaps we'll see some of you there.
Off-Campus Robbery Bulletin
A student reported that on February 5, 2009 at approximately 11:30 PM he was approached by two masked men on Smith Street near Hazel Ave in Salisbury. The men robbed the student of property and then fled on foot.
Anyone who may have information about this crime is asked to contact the Salisbury Police Department: (410) 548-3165, the Salisbury University Police Department: (410) 543-6222; or, report anonymously to Crime Solvers of the Lower Eastern Shore: (410) 548-1776.
I would like to remind our campus community that crimes can occur anywhere at anytime. Individuals should always be attentive to their surroundings, and remain alert to the potential ill-intent of others nearby.
It is imperative that victims of crime promptly report the incident to a law enforcement agency.
Students are encouraged to utilize Safe Ride and the University Police Department’s escort services.
Please review and consider the following tips. Extra vigilance and caution is in order whenever you are out alone, away from crowds.
Street Robbery Tips:
1. Try to remain calm. Do not resist. Consider the robber dangerous.
2. In most cases, the robber only wants your valuables/money and is not there to hurt you.
3. Assume the robber is armed, even if you don't see a weapon.
4. If a weapon is displayed, consider it to be real and loaded.
5. Do only what the robber tells you. If you don't understand, tell the robber.
6. Attempt to get a good, complete description of the robber, - taking note of unique and unusual characteristics.
7. Your main goal is to survive!
8. Don't resist and fight with the assailant unless it is evident that your life is in danger.
9. Remember--your valuables can be replaced, - your life can't.
Report any suspicious persons immediately to the police. If possible, use a cellular phone to call 911 while maintaining visual observation of the subject(s).
Chief Edwin L. Lashley
University Police
ellashley@salisbury.edu
Anyone who may have information about this crime is asked to contact the Salisbury Police Department: (410) 548-3165, the Salisbury University Police Department: (410) 543-6222; or, report anonymously to Crime Solvers of the Lower Eastern Shore: (410) 548-1776.
I would like to remind our campus community that crimes can occur anywhere at anytime. Individuals should always be attentive to their surroundings, and remain alert to the potential ill-intent of others nearby.
It is imperative that victims of crime promptly report the incident to a law enforcement agency.
Students are encouraged to utilize Safe Ride and the University Police Department’s escort services.
Please review and consider the following tips. Extra vigilance and caution is in order whenever you are out alone, away from crowds.
Street Robbery Tips:
1. Try to remain calm. Do not resist. Consider the robber dangerous.
2. In most cases, the robber only wants your valuables/money and is not there to hurt you.
3. Assume the robber is armed, even if you don't see a weapon.
4. If a weapon is displayed, consider it to be real and loaded.
5. Do only what the robber tells you. If you don't understand, tell the robber.
6. Attempt to get a good, complete description of the robber, - taking note of unique and unusual characteristics.
7. Your main goal is to survive!
8. Don't resist and fight with the assailant unless it is evident that your life is in danger.
9. Remember--your valuables can be replaced, - your life can't.
Report any suspicious persons immediately to the police. If possible, use a cellular phone to call 911 while maintaining visual observation of the subject(s).
Chief Edwin L. Lashley
University Police
ellashley@salisbury.edu
Censorship!
Ladies & Gentlemen, we've done it AGAIN! This just in!
"Wanted you to know that your web site has been blocked from all computers at the Somerset County Office Complex."
Hasn't anybody learned yet? Our numbers will skyrocket now in Somerset County, simply because they have all been told they can't view Salisbury News. ROTFLMAO!
I guess they think they'll be protecting themselves if no one is able to access us. Oh well, thanks for the attention. This backfired on the City of Salisbury, the Fire Department as well as PRMC. That's cool with us. EVERYONE knows how much the Salisbury Firefighter love to come to Salisbury News.
Wait till I bust loose the TRUE story about how they killed those two dogs. That's right, I have been in contact with the Family this actually happened to and you're NOT going to believe it. Here, I'll just give you a little teaser before I tell the entire story.
Remember we told you they killed off TWO dogs, yet only ONE bit someone? Well, use your head Folks, why would they kill tTWO dogs if only one allegedy bit someone? MORE TO COME! I'm not done with Somerset County, believe me.
"Wanted you to know that your web site has been blocked from all computers at the Somerset County Office Complex."
Hasn't anybody learned yet? Our numbers will skyrocket now in Somerset County, simply because they have all been told they can't view Salisbury News. ROTFLMAO!
I guess they think they'll be protecting themselves if no one is able to access us. Oh well, thanks for the attention. This backfired on the City of Salisbury, the Fire Department as well as PRMC. That's cool with us. EVERYONE knows how much the Salisbury Firefighter love to come to Salisbury News.
Wait till I bust loose the TRUE story about how they killed those two dogs. That's right, I have been in contact with the Family this actually happened to and you're NOT going to believe it. Here, I'll just give you a little teaser before I tell the entire story.
Remember we told you they killed off TWO dogs, yet only ONE bit someone? Well, use your head Folks, why would they kill tTWO dogs if only one allegedy bit someone? MORE TO COME! I'm not done with Somerset County, believe me.
Stu Leer's Suit Against The City -- What Happened???
Information Court System: DISTRICT COURT FOR WICOMICO COUNTY - CIVIL SYSTEM
Case Number: 020300052172008Claim Type:CONTRACT
District/Location Codes: 02 / 03Filing Date:07/30/2008Case Status:CLOSED
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Complaint, Judgment, and Related Persons Information
(Each Complaint, Hearing, Judgment is listed separately, along with each Related Person)
Complaint Information
Complaint No: 001(LEER, STUART) Vs:(CITY OF SALISBURY)
Type: REGULAR CLAIM
Complaint Status: DISMISSED (RULE 3-506)
Status Date: 10/28/2008Filing Date:07/30/2008Amount$1819.09Last Activity Date:10/28/2008
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Judgment Information
Judgment Type: COMPLAINT DISMISSED (RULE 3-506)Judgment Date:10/23/2008
Judgment Amount: $0.00Judgment Interest:$0.00Costs:$0.00Other Amounts:$0.00
Attorney Fees: $0.00Jointly and Severally:In Favor of Defendant:
Possession Of Property Claimed valued At: $0.00Is Awarded To The:Together With Damages Of:$0.00
Value Of Property Sued For: $0.00Plus Damages Of:$0.00Is Awarded To The:Dismissed With Prejudice:X
Replevin/Detinue Amount: $0.00
Recorded Lien Date: Judgment renewed Date:
Renewed Lien Date: Satisfaction Date:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Related Person Information
Name: PETER, MATTHEW
Connection to Complaint: ATTORNEY FOR DEFENDANT
Address: 7225 PARKWAY DR.
City: HANOVERState:MDZip Code:21076
If Person is Attorney: Attorney Code:009159Attorney's Firm:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name: CITY OF SALISBURY
Connection to Complaint: DEFENDANT
Address: 125 N DIVISION ST
City: SALISBURYState:MDZip Code:21801
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name: LEER, STUART
Connection to Complaint: PLAINTIFF
Address: P.O. BOX 1128
City: SALISBURYState:MDZip Code:21802
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Case History Information
(Each Event listed for the case is listed below in chronological order)
Type: INITIAL CASE FILINGComplaint No.:
Date: 07/30/2008Comment:INITIAL CASE FILING
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: TRIALComplaint No.:
Date: 08/25/2008Comment:TRIAL SET FOR: 10242008;TIME: 0900A;LOC:03;ROOM:02
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: NOTICE SENTComplaint No.:001
Date: 08/25/2008Comment:NOTICE OF INITIAL TRIAL (PLN)-D1
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: SERVICEComplaint No.:001
Date: 09/02/2008Comment:REGL;07302008;DEF;SV-SERVED ;
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: NOTICE SENTComplaint No.:001
Date: 09/08/2008Comment:NOTICE OF OUTCOME OF ORIGINAL SERVICE (PLN)-A1
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: INTENTION TO DEFEND FILEDComplaint No.:001
Date: 09/16/2008Comment:INTENTION TO DEFEND FILED /REASON FOR DEFENSE FOLLOWS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: INTENTION TO DEFEND REASONComplaint No.:001
Date: 09/16/2008Comment:GROUNDS THAT THIS COURT LACKS JURISDICTION TO HEAR
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: INTENTION TO DEFEND REASONComplaint No.:001
Date: 09/16/2008Comment:THIS MATTER
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: MOTION FILEDComplaint No.:001
Date: 09/16/2008Comment:S;09302008;9U0;DEF; DSM CLAIM ;50
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: NOTICE SENTComplaint No.:001
Date: 09/17/2008Comment:NOTICE OF FILING OF INTENTION TO DEFEND (PLN)-B1
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: NOTICE SENTComplaint No.:001
Date: 09/30/2008Comment:NOTICE OF OUTCOME OF MOTION FILED - 50 (PLN)-G1
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: NOTICE SENTComplaint No.:001
Date: 09/30/2008Comment:ALSO SENT TO - ATD,
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: HEARING SCHEDULEDComplaint No.:001
Date: 10/01/2008Comment:HEARING ON MOTION SET;10242008;0900A;LOC03;02 ;MOTN
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: NOTICE SENTComplaint No.:001
Date: 10/01/2008Comment:NOTICE OF INITIAL HEARING/TRIAL - MOTN (PLN)-C2
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: NOTICE SENTComplaint No.:001
Date: 10/01/2008Comment:ALSO SENT TO - ATD,
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: DISMISSAL (RULE 3-506) ENTEREDComplaint No.:001
Date: 10/23/2008Comment:COMPLAINT DISMISSED (RULE 3-506)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: TRIAL DELETEComplaint No.:
Date: 10/23/2008Comment:TRIL;10242008;0900A;03;BY CLK;DISMISSAL ENTERED
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: NOTICE SENTComplaint No.:001
Date: 10/28/2008Comment:NOTICE OF 3-506 DISMISSAL (PLN)-T7
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: NOTICE SENTComplaint No.:001
Date: 10/28/2008Comment:ALSO SENT TO - ATD,
Does anybody know what happened to his case with the City???????
Case Number: 020300052172008Claim Type:CONTRACT
District/Location Codes: 02 / 03Filing Date:07/30/2008Case Status:CLOSED
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Complaint, Judgment, and Related Persons Information
(Each Complaint, Hearing, Judgment is listed separately, along with each Related Person)
Complaint Information
Complaint No: 001(LEER, STUART) Vs:(CITY OF SALISBURY)
Type: REGULAR CLAIM
Complaint Status: DISMISSED (RULE 3-506)
Status Date: 10/28/2008Filing Date:07/30/2008Amount$1819.09Last Activity Date:10/28/2008
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Judgment Information
Judgment Type: COMPLAINT DISMISSED (RULE 3-506)Judgment Date:10/23/2008
Judgment Amount: $0.00Judgment Interest:$0.00Costs:$0.00Other Amounts:$0.00
Attorney Fees: $0.00Jointly and Severally:In Favor of Defendant:
Possession Of Property Claimed valued At: $0.00Is Awarded To The:Together With Damages Of:$0.00
Value Of Property Sued For: $0.00Plus Damages Of:$0.00Is Awarded To The:Dismissed With Prejudice:X
Replevin/Detinue Amount: $0.00
Recorded Lien Date: Judgment renewed Date:
Renewed Lien Date: Satisfaction Date:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Related Person Information
Name: PETER, MATTHEW
Connection to Complaint: ATTORNEY FOR DEFENDANT
Address: 7225 PARKWAY DR.
City: HANOVERState:MDZip Code:21076
If Person is Attorney: Attorney Code:009159Attorney's Firm:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name: CITY OF SALISBURY
Connection to Complaint: DEFENDANT
Address: 125 N DIVISION ST
City: SALISBURYState:MDZip Code:21801
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name: LEER, STUART
Connection to Complaint: PLAINTIFF
Address: P.O. BOX 1128
City: SALISBURYState:MDZip Code:21802
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Case History Information
(Each Event listed for the case is listed below in chronological order)
Type: INITIAL CASE FILINGComplaint No.:
Date: 07/30/2008Comment:INITIAL CASE FILING
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: TRIALComplaint No.:
Date: 08/25/2008Comment:TRIAL SET FOR: 10242008;TIME: 0900A;LOC:03;ROOM:02
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: NOTICE SENTComplaint No.:001
Date: 08/25/2008Comment:NOTICE OF INITIAL TRIAL (PLN)-D1
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: SERVICEComplaint No.:001
Date: 09/02/2008Comment:REGL;07302008;DEF;SV-SERVED ;
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: NOTICE SENTComplaint No.:001
Date: 09/08/2008Comment:NOTICE OF OUTCOME OF ORIGINAL SERVICE (PLN)-A1
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: INTENTION TO DEFEND FILEDComplaint No.:001
Date: 09/16/2008Comment:INTENTION TO DEFEND FILED /REASON FOR DEFENSE FOLLOWS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: INTENTION TO DEFEND REASONComplaint No.:001
Date: 09/16/2008Comment:GROUNDS THAT THIS COURT LACKS JURISDICTION TO HEAR
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: INTENTION TO DEFEND REASONComplaint No.:001
Date: 09/16/2008Comment:THIS MATTER
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: MOTION FILEDComplaint No.:001
Date: 09/16/2008Comment:S;09302008;9U0;DEF; DSM CLAIM ;50
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: NOTICE SENTComplaint No.:001
Date: 09/17/2008Comment:NOTICE OF FILING OF INTENTION TO DEFEND (PLN)-B1
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: NOTICE SENTComplaint No.:001
Date: 09/30/2008Comment:NOTICE OF OUTCOME OF MOTION FILED - 50 (PLN)-G1
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: NOTICE SENTComplaint No.:001
Date: 09/30/2008Comment:ALSO SENT TO - ATD,
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: HEARING SCHEDULEDComplaint No.:001
Date: 10/01/2008Comment:HEARING ON MOTION SET;10242008;0900A;LOC03;02 ;MOTN
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: NOTICE SENTComplaint No.:001
Date: 10/01/2008Comment:NOTICE OF INITIAL HEARING/TRIAL - MOTN (PLN)-C2
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: NOTICE SENTComplaint No.:001
Date: 10/01/2008Comment:ALSO SENT TO - ATD,
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: DISMISSAL (RULE 3-506) ENTEREDComplaint No.:001
Date: 10/23/2008Comment:COMPLAINT DISMISSED (RULE 3-506)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: TRIAL DELETEComplaint No.:
Date: 10/23/2008Comment:TRIL;10242008;0900A;03;BY CLK;DISMISSAL ENTERED
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: NOTICE SENTComplaint No.:001
Date: 10/28/2008Comment:NOTICE OF 3-506 DISMISSAL (PLN)-T7
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Type: NOTICE SENTComplaint No.:001
Date: 10/28/2008Comment:ALSO SENT TO - ATD,
Does anybody know what happened to his case with the City???????
The Winner of The Last 2 Tickets To Tonights Fight
Today's WINNER is, TOM MILLER! Congratulations Tom! Your 2 tickets are at the Will Call Window in YOUR name for tonights fight.
CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF THE WINNERS IN THE CONTESTS HELD
Joe is at the Civic Center at this moment turning in all of the names. Your tickets are now available for pick up at the WILL CALL WINDOW
Have fun and enjoy the fights. Make some noise for the hometown boy, Ferrrrnandoooo Guerreroooooo
Thanks to everyone that participated.
CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF THE WINNERS IN THE CONTESTS HELD
Joe is at the Civic Center at this moment turning in all of the names. Your tickets are now available for pick up at the WILL CALL WINDOW
Have fun and enjoy the fights. Make some noise for the hometown boy, Ferrrrnandoooo Guerreroooooo
Thanks to everyone that participated.
WIN 2 FREE Fernando ESPN 2 Tickets Right Now!
Who is the most special person you know that deserves to be rewarded with 2 FREE Tickets to tonight's Fight? In 150 words or less, explain to us why they deserve to win. You must put your name to each reply, (no phone number) and I will announce the winner by 3:00 PM today. This gives everyone plenty of time to get their answers in. Good Luck Everyone!On a special note. In order to keep this Post at the top I will have to make changes to the actual time of the Post. This Post is going up at 10:13 this morning but will show a 3:00 time. It's just how Blogger works. New Posts will fall BELOW this Post throughout the day.
Salisbury Police Department Press Releases
On February 4, 2009 at approximately 9:30 am, Officers of the Salisbury Police Department received a call to meet with a female victim who advised that she had been the victim of a rape. Officers and Detectives met with the victim who advised that she had been raped in an apartment on the six hundred (600) block of W. Main St. in Salisbury. The victim advised the detectives that she initially responded to the apartment consensually, however was held against her will and assaulted. As a result of this investigation, a search and seizure warrant was executed on the residence and an arrest warrant was obtained for the below listed suspect.
On February 5, 2009 at approximately 10:00 am, the suspect was taken into custody
ARRESTED: Brian Orlanzia Braxton, 45 years of age Salisbury, Maryland
CHARGES:
Second degree rape (2 counts)
Second degree sex offense (2 counts)
Fourth degree sex offense
Second degree assault (3 counts)
False imprisonment
DISPOSITION: Released to Central Booking CC # 200900003806
On January 29, 2009, Officers of the Salisbury Police Department received a call to meet with a female victim of a robbery that was reported to have occurred on E. College Avenue. Through the investigation of the complaint it was found that the complaint was false. The below listed suspect told the investigating detective that she falsely reported the robbery.
ARRESTED #1: Mary Catherine Noppinger, 21 years of age Salisbury, Maryland
CHARGES:
False statement
Obstructing and hindering an investigation
Conspiracy to make a false statement
Conspiracy to obstruct and hinder an investigation
DISPOSITION: Released to Central Booking CC # 200900003216
On February 5, 2009 at approximately 10:00 am, the suspect was taken into custody
ARRESTED: Brian Orlanzia Braxton, 45 years of age Salisbury, Maryland
CHARGES:
Second degree rape (2 counts)
Second degree sex offense (2 counts)
Fourth degree sex offense
Second degree assault (3 counts)
False imprisonment
DISPOSITION: Released to Central Booking CC # 200900003806
On January 29, 2009, Officers of the Salisbury Police Department received a call to meet with a female victim of a robbery that was reported to have occurred on E. College Avenue. Through the investigation of the complaint it was found that the complaint was false. The below listed suspect told the investigating detective that she falsely reported the robbery.
ARRESTED #1: Mary Catherine Noppinger, 21 years of age Salisbury, Maryland
CHARGES:
False statement
Obstructing and hindering an investigation
Conspiracy to make a false statement
Conspiracy to obstruct and hinder an investigation
DISPOSITION: Released to Central Booking CC # 200900003216
Give Credit Where Credit Is Due
I think it's clear that I don't see eye to eye with the Salisbury Fire Chief David See. However, there are times in which I feel credit is due, especially when it comes to cases like this.The other day we did a Post about the Wi Middle School Teacher Mrs. Townsend who had been innocently struck by a car and injured quite badly. I've been told, (not confirmed) she may have broken her nose, one knee broken in three places and a broken femur, all serious injuries.
Mrs. Townsend had to be transported to Shock Trauma in Baltimore for surgery and rehabilitation, all of which I'm told will take at least 8 months. Mrs. Townsend obviously will not be going back to Wi Middle School this year.
Nevertheless, there used to be a policy in the Salisbury Fire Department that if someone working for the department was injured and needed transportation to Baltimore, as an example, the trip was free. That rule changed and ultimately Firefighters have been charged for these trips since some time in the 90's, I believe.
I have been informed that Chief See made an internal decision recently to go ahead and transport Mrs. Townsend to Baltimore at no cost whatsoever. Regardless of the reason why, it is a decent and honorable thing to do.
That being said, Chief See, my hat is tipped to you. We know you've experienced a very difficult week here at Salisbury News and while we may not agree on many issues, this one is certainly one in which I personally respect and everyone out there should know how I feel. I will give credit where credit is do.
SINGLE’S MINGLE
FEBRUARY 20TH, 2009
AGES 40 TO 60’S
7PM at The Fountains in Salisbury
1800 Sweetbay Drive Salisbury, MD 21804
$20.00 RSVP or $25.00 at the door
DJ Freddy Burch, Hors’d oeuvres,
Cash Bar, Dancing, Speed Dating, & Bunco
Meet other singles in the area in a relaxed setting without any pressure
Call 410-749-5445 to RSVP or for more information
AGES 40 TO 60’S
7PM at The Fountains in Salisbury
1800 Sweetbay Drive Salisbury, MD 21804
$20.00 RSVP or $25.00 at the door
DJ Freddy Burch, Hors’d oeuvres,
Cash Bar, Dancing, Speed Dating, & Bunco
Meet other singles in the area in a relaxed setting without any pressure
Call 410-749-5445 to RSVP or for more information
New Words
Washington Post's "Mensa Invitational" which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an a-hole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an a-hole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
"Importance Of Walking"
Walking 20 minutes can add to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there?
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, he looks good doesn't he?'
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years ... just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.
AND NOW
You could run this over to your friends, But it's much easier to just e-mail it to them!
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there?
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, he looks good doesn't he?'
If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years ... just getting over the hill.
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.
AND NOW
You could run this over to your friends, But it's much easier to just e-mail it to them!
The New Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands, has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store...
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer...
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store...
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer...
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
Salisbury Area Track Athletes Winning At Baltimore Armory
On Monday, February 2, 2009 the following runners won events at the Maryland 2A Regional Track Meet. Quite a few qualified for the State Finals on February 16, 2009 at the Prince Georges Athletic Complex next to Redskins Stadium and you can see them on video. The video comes from www.runningmaryland.com
http://www.digitalsports.com/videos/type/organization/typeid/1/artid/53663.aspx
The qualifiers were:
Meredith Rogers 55 meters Girls Bennett
Staci Turner 55 meters Girls Bennett
Staci Turner 300 meters Girls Bennett
Savannah Bozman 1600 Meters Girls Bennett
Savannah Bozman 3200 meters Girls Bennett
Brigegue Woodson 55 meter hurdles Girls Bennett
Perri Smith Pole Vault Girls Wi-Hi
Shelby Gardiner Pole Vault Girls Parkside
Alexis Verbits Pole Vault Girls Bennett
Brittany Barlow Shotput Girls Bennett
Kwame Bryant 55 meters Boys Parkside
Eldon Smith 55 meters Boys Wi Hi
Kwame Bryant 300 meters Boys Parkside
Zak Osborne 500 meters Boys Parkside
Dan Webster 800 meters Boys Bennett
Dan Webster 1600 meters Boys Bennett
Zack Temple 1600 meters Boys Parkside
Zack Temple 3200 meters Boys Parkside
Zack Dorman Pole Vault Boys Bennett
Ryan Moreno Pole Vault Boys Bennett
Nate Weeks Shotput Wi Hi
In the Relays
Bennett Girls 4 x 400
Bennett Girls 4 x 200
Bennett Girls 4 x 800
Parkside Girls 4 x 800
Parkside Boys 4 x 800
Bennett Boys 4 x 800
http://www.digitalsports.com/videos/type/organization/typeid/1/artid/53663.aspx
The qualifiers were:
Meredith Rogers 55 meters Girls Bennett
Staci Turner 55 meters Girls Bennett
Staci Turner 300 meters Girls Bennett
Savannah Bozman 1600 Meters Girls Bennett
Savannah Bozman 3200 meters Girls Bennett
Brigegue Woodson 55 meter hurdles Girls Bennett
Perri Smith Pole Vault Girls Wi-Hi
Shelby Gardiner Pole Vault Girls Parkside
Alexis Verbits Pole Vault Girls Bennett
Brittany Barlow Shotput Girls Bennett
Kwame Bryant 55 meters Boys Parkside
Eldon Smith 55 meters Boys Wi Hi
Kwame Bryant 300 meters Boys Parkside
Zak Osborne 500 meters Boys Parkside
Dan Webster 800 meters Boys Bennett
Dan Webster 1600 meters Boys Bennett
Zack Temple 1600 meters Boys Parkside
Zack Temple 3200 meters Boys Parkside
Zack Dorman Pole Vault Boys Bennett
Ryan Moreno Pole Vault Boys Bennett
Nate Weeks Shotput Wi Hi
In the Relays
Bennett Girls 4 x 400
Bennett Girls 4 x 200
Bennett Girls 4 x 800
Parkside Girls 4 x 800
Parkside Boys 4 x 800
Bennett Boys 4 x 800
A Stupid Question for Tree Huggers
Just where do you think 'Brazilian Cherry' wood floors from Lumber Liquidators comes from?
And where exactly do the 'Eco Friendly' Bamboo Floors come from?
Answer: Brazilian Cherry = Brazilian 'RAIN FORESTS'!
Bamboo = Asian Bamboo forests, where Panda's are starving and Tigers are loosing their cover.
So all of you Yuppies on a high horse who are building your own house but want to be environmentally friendly, the only true way of doing that is by taking old flooring out of an old house and reusing it.
Lumber Liquidators and other companies like them are making a fortune off of people who want to have their McMansions and save the world at the same time.
Never once considering that they are one of the big reasons the rain forest is being stripped.
Examples Of Pelosi And Obama's No Pork Bill
Both pledged to eliminate pork spending A lot of this is budget request which should be put in their budget but they are by passing the process
Speaker Pelosi’s Payoffs and Pork Bill
H.R. 1, “The American Recovery & Reinvestment Act of 2009”
The Congressional Budget Office (CBO) recently found that the cost of the Pelosi-Reid stimulus package now exceeds $1.1 trillion. CBO also estimated that only 7 percent of infrastructure money would make its way into the economy by the end of the year and only 38 percent would be spent by the end of the 2010 fiscal year. Senator Jeff Session’s (R-Ala.) office estimates the actual number going to tangible road and bridge construction is just a little more than 3 percent.
Where is this money going to? A not exhaustive look at the 1,588 page legislation, H.R. 1, “The American Recovery & Reinvestment Act of 2009” shows the bill is more payoffs and pork then stimulus. Many thanks to the website readthestimulus.org and its participating organizations.
PAYOFFS
To the “Green” Lobby
$600 Million To Buy New Cars For Government Workers (Page 89)
These cars would be “green” friendly cars – however very few gas pumps have the right gas to run these cars.
The Federal government already spends $3.5 billion a year.
$10M for bike and walking trails (Page 65)
$200M for plug-in car stations (Page 31)
$400 million for NASA scientists to conduct climate change research (Page 22)
$800 million to clean up Superfund sites (Page 122)
$600 million for grants for diesel emission reduction (Page 119)
$650 million for “alternative energy technologies, energy efficiency enhancements and deferred
maintenance at Federal facilities” (Page 119)
$1.5 billion for construction of “Green Schools” (Page 176)
To the Unions
$1 billion to the controversial COMMUNITY ORIENTED POLICING SERVICES COPS Hiring
Program
“$150 billion in new federal spending, a vast two-year investment that would more than double the Department of Education’s current budget. The proposed emergency expenditures on nearly every realm of education, including school renovation, special education, Head Start and grants to needy college students” Sam Dillon, “Stimulus Plan Would Provide Flood of Aid to Education,” New York Times. January 27, 2009.
NOTE: Private and religious schools are excluded.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/28/education/28educ.html?_r=1
To the Abortion Industry
Representative Henry Waxman (D-Calif.) inserted in the original bill billions of dollars for family
planning groups, including the abortion giant, Planned Parenthood. Pressure and public exposure from Congressional Republicans forced the Democrats to remove such funding from this bill. However the bill still provides billions in reforming the health care system and working towards nationalized health care – with little to no debate.
$2.7B in NIH grants which would be targeted to among other things embryonic stem cell
experimentation. (Page 56)
Other Special Interests
$3 Billion for Prevention & Wellness Programs, Including $335 million for STD Education and
Prevention -- Recent government expenditures in this area include a transgender beauty pageant in San Francisco that advertised available HIV testing and an event called “Got Love? – Flirt/Date/Score” that taught participants how “to flirt with greater finesse.”
$83 billion for the earned income credit for people who don't pay income tax.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123310466514522309.html
$246 million for Hollywood http://www.nationaljournal.com/congressdaily/cda_20090127_9337.php
$50 million for the National Endowment for the Arts (Page 122)
$75 million for smoking cessation (Page 148). This contradicts the latest version of SCHIP that is funded largely by new taxes on cigarettes.
$4.19 billion open to ACORN. The Pelosi-Reid bill makes groups like ACORN eligible for a $4.19 billion pot of money for “neighborhood stabilization activities.”
MISCELLANEOUS PORK
Some of the biggest winners in the package are federal agencies:
$54 billion will go to federal programs that the Office of Management and Budget or the Government Accountability Office have already criticized as "ineffective" or unable to pass basic financial audits. http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123310466514522309.html
$462 Million for Equipment, Construction, and Renovation of Facilities at the Centers for Disease
Control (CDC) (Page 137)
$150 Million for Repairs to Smithsonian Institution Facilities (Page 128)
$44 million to the Agricultural Research Service (Page 135)
$227 million for oversight of the pork barrel spending in the stimulus (Page 11)
$1 Billion for The Follow-Up To The 2010 Census (Page 49)
Discretion is given to governors and Mayors for how to spend a large chunk of the money. The U.S. Conference of Mayors recently sent Congress a $96.6 billion wish list of "shovel-ready" projects which now could be funded by the stimulus. These projects include: “$1 million for annual sewer rehabilitation in Casper, WY; $6.1 million for corporate hangars, parking lots, and a business apron at the Fayetteville, AR airport; 28 projects with the term "stadium" in them; and 117 projects mentioning landscaping and/or beautification efforts. The taxpayers should be most teed off at the 20 golf courses included in the list.”http://www.ntu.org/main/press.php?PressID=1083&org_name=NTU
Polar Bear Attack In Alaska
Not for the squeamish! See below photos. Who wants to hunt Caribou now?
This is from up in the NWT, this chap is lucky to be alive. The guy survived the bear attack. The bear jumped on him while he was sleeping in his tent and he managed to get it off of him and shoot it
One tough camper!
This is from up in the NWT, this chap is lucky to be alive. The guy survived the bear attack. The bear jumped on him while he was sleeping in his tent and he managed to get it off of him and shoot it
One tough camper!
Are You RRRReady Tooooo Rummmmble?
The Civic Center is being transformed as we speak and after last nights weigh in, let me assure each and every one of you, Fernando Guerrero is ready to fight!
TONIGHT is the night and after hearing about ticket sales last night, you better get in line early today because this event is going to be close to being sold out! There are still good seats available but they expect around 2,000 people at the gates tonight wanting to purchase tickets and from what I hear from pre sold tickets, they're going to be sold out, no doubt!
I don't know about you Folks but I'm excited! It's not often we're going to get this chance to watch this particular Home Town Fighter having the power to make companies like Showtime and ESPN2 come to us, so do get out today and purchase your tickets. It's an experience you'll NEVER forget as long as you live.
That being said, there will be another 2 FREE Ticket Giveaway Today. I will present it earlier today so we can have a chance at turning in all the names and everyone can get their tickets.
So stay tuned this morning because this is it, this is your last shot at 2 FREE Tickets to the Greatest Show In Town. LOL
Most Trusted Government Agency
Five-Time Winner, U.S. Postal Service Again Named ‘Most Trusted’
Consumers Rank USPS at Top of 74 Agencies in Ponemon Institute Survey
WASHINGTON — The premier privacy trust study in America has named the U.S. Postal Service (USPS) the “Most Trusted Government Agency” for an impressive fifth year in a row.
More than 87 percent of the 7,000 Americans surveyed by the Ponemon Institute in its 2009 Privacy Trust Study of the United States Government ranked the Postal Service first among 74 agencies. The top ranking means Americans trust USPS as the government agency best able to keep their information safe and secure. The average score among federal agencies included in the survey is 50 percent.
The first survey has been conducted in 2004. In addition to ranking as the top government agency every year, USPS also has increased its privacy trust score every year.
“We have a 230-year tradition of trust. Americans depend on the security of the mail and they trust the Postal Service to protect their privacy,” said Delores Killette, vice president and consumer advocate.
Killette attributed the number one ranking, in part, to the trusted relationship Americans have with letter carriers who deliver mail to every home and business across the country. Many know their letter carriers by name and see them as welcome and trusted members of the local community, she said.
“The Postal Service’s mission is to keep Americans connected,” Killette said. “That includes a commitment from each and every employee to uphold the trust behind our connections to friends, families and businesses through the mail.”
The survey asked 7,000 Americans, selected at random, to rank federal agencies based on their ability to handle and protect personal information. Questions ranged from factors that create trust in an agency and how confident consumers are that the agency will protect their information, to limiting the amount of information collected.
“Those agencies with the most public interaction, like the Postal Service — and those that also demonstrate a healthy respect for maintaining public trust — have scored well over the years,” said Larry Ponemon, chairman and founder of the Ponemon Institute.
The Most Trusted Government survey results first were announced at the Postal Service Board of Governors meeting Wednesday.
Consumers Rank USPS at Top of 74 Agencies in Ponemon Institute Survey
WASHINGTON — The premier privacy trust study in America has named the U.S. Postal Service (USPS) the “Most Trusted Government Agency” for an impressive fifth year in a row.
More than 87 percent of the 7,000 Americans surveyed by the Ponemon Institute in its 2009 Privacy Trust Study of the United States Government ranked the Postal Service first among 74 agencies. The top ranking means Americans trust USPS as the government agency best able to keep their information safe and secure. The average score among federal agencies included in the survey is 50 percent.
The first survey has been conducted in 2004. In addition to ranking as the top government agency every year, USPS also has increased its privacy trust score every year.
“We have a 230-year tradition of trust. Americans depend on the security of the mail and they trust the Postal Service to protect their privacy,” said Delores Killette, vice president and consumer advocate.
Killette attributed the number one ranking, in part, to the trusted relationship Americans have with letter carriers who deliver mail to every home and business across the country. Many know their letter carriers by name and see them as welcome and trusted members of the local community, she said.
“The Postal Service’s mission is to keep Americans connected,” Killette said. “That includes a commitment from each and every employee to uphold the trust behind our connections to friends, families and businesses through the mail.”
The survey asked 7,000 Americans, selected at random, to rank federal agencies based on their ability to handle and protect personal information. Questions ranged from factors that create trust in an agency and how confident consumers are that the agency will protect their information, to limiting the amount of information collected.
“Those agencies with the most public interaction, like the Postal Service — and those that also demonstrate a healthy respect for maintaining public trust — have scored well over the years,” said Larry Ponemon, chairman and founder of the Ponemon Institute.
The Most Trusted Government survey results first were announced at the Postal Service Board of Governors meeting Wednesday.
O'Malley Proposes Extending Health Benefits To Gays
Governor would include same-sex domestic partners of state employees
By Laura Smitherman
February 3, 2009
Gov. Martin O'Malley has proposed extending health care benefits to same-sex partners of state employees, fulfilling a campaign promise to gay-rights activists despite this year's strapped budget.
The Democratic governor's proposal would allow state workers and retirees to add domestic partners and their dependents to health, dental and prescription drug plans, essentially putting gay couples on par with married spouses.
As many as 300 employees in a state work force of more than 70,000 are expected to sign up, at a cost of $1 million to $3 million.
GO HERE to read more.
By Laura Smitherman
February 3, 2009
Gov. Martin O'Malley has proposed extending health care benefits to same-sex partners of state employees, fulfilling a campaign promise to gay-rights activists despite this year's strapped budget.
The Democratic governor's proposal would allow state workers and retirees to add domestic partners and their dependents to health, dental and prescription drug plans, essentially putting gay couples on par with married spouses.
As many as 300 employees in a state work force of more than 70,000 are expected to sign up, at a cost of $1 million to $3 million.
GO HERE to read more.
Watercolor Classes at Worcester County Arts Council
Worcester County Arts Council is pleased to offer the following watercolor classes instructed by an award winning local artist,
Values and Landscapes – Friday, March 13
Flowers – Friday, April 10
Step-by-step demonstrations and a relaxing style promise you a fun learning experience in an encouraging and supporting atmosphere.
Come and enjoy this class and let your creativity soar!
Cost of each class: $30.00 Members of WCAC receive 10% discount.
Supply list will be provided upon registration.
For more information about classes and workshops, please visit our website at www.worcestercountyartscouncil.org
FESTIVAL PERFORMERS TO RECEIVE FREE CONSULTATION WITH PROMOTER & RECORD LABEL
The Unicity Performing Arts Festival taking place in Winterplace Park in Salisbury, MD on May 15th * 16th has announced today that all of the festival performers will have the opportunity to receive free consultation sessions with Los Angeles based promoter Miles High Productions and Indie Record Label Realize Records.
Both companies will have representatives on hand to review music and press kits “We are actively scouting for new artists to sign to the label so this became a perfect opportunity for us to meet and talk with the performers.” states Realize Records CEO Michel Grey
This year’s festival is expected to have over 400 performing artist totaling more than 85 hours of entertainment over the two day period. The festival producers are looking for all types of artists for the event. Submissions are now open and are scheduled to close on March 1st. 2009. Miles High Productions owner Chip Schutzman says, “I find it inspiring how the festival has been able to provide the local community with great music and diversified talent. As a company who promotes emerging musicians in the industry, we are thrilled to attend and provide a brief consultation to those interested in promoting their careers online or learning more about our services for artists.”
To submit to perform at Unicity or to find out more information about the festival please visit http://www.unicityfestival.com/ For more information on Miles High Productions visit http://www.mileshighproductions.com/ . For more information on Realize Records visit http://www.realizerecords.com/
The Unicity Performing Arts Festival's goal is to unite different races, sexes and cultures through the diversity of the performing arts. The Unicity Performing Arts Festival is a collage of all types of performing artists from classical musicians to punk rock bands, featuring ballet dancers to street hip hop artists. Poets, actors, comedians, everything and anything goes. The event is a two day fusion of nonstop performing artists, unbelievable food and drinks all leading up to shows featuring top national acts.
Both companies will have representatives on hand to review music and press kits “We are actively scouting for new artists to sign to the label so this became a perfect opportunity for us to meet and talk with the performers.” states Realize Records CEO Michel Grey
This year’s festival is expected to have over 400 performing artist totaling more than 85 hours of entertainment over the two day period. The festival producers are looking for all types of artists for the event. Submissions are now open and are scheduled to close on March 1st. 2009. Miles High Productions owner Chip Schutzman says, “I find it inspiring how the festival has been able to provide the local community with great music and diversified talent. As a company who promotes emerging musicians in the industry, we are thrilled to attend and provide a brief consultation to those interested in promoting their careers online or learning more about our services for artists.”
To submit to perform at Unicity or to find out more information about the festival please visit http://www.unicityfestival.com/ For more information on Miles High Productions visit http://www.mileshighproductions.com/ . For more information on Realize Records visit http://www.realizerecords.com/
The Unicity Performing Arts Festival's goal is to unite different races, sexes and cultures through the diversity of the performing arts. The Unicity Performing Arts Festival is a collage of all types of performing artists from classical musicians to punk rock bands, featuring ballet dancers to street hip hop artists. Poets, actors, comedians, everything and anything goes. The event is a two day fusion of nonstop performing artists, unbelievable food and drinks all leading up to shows featuring top national acts.
Cold Water
This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry about using cold water to clean.
John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan.
After spending a great evening chatting the night away, The next morning John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.
However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking,
'Are these plates clean?'
His grandfather replied,
'They're as clean as cold water can get em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!'
For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked,
'Are you sure these plates are clean?'
Without looking up the old man said,
'I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!'
Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.John yelled and said, 'Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car'.
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted, "Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me?"
Meet Coldwater...............
John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan.
After spending a great evening chatting the night away, The next morning John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.
However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking,
'Are these plates clean?'
His grandfather replied,
'They're as clean as cold water can get em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!'
For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked,
'Are you sure these plates are clean?'
Without looking up the old man said,
'I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!'
Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.John yelled and said, 'Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car'.
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted, "Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me?"
Meet Coldwater...............
Traveling
Traveling down the interstate and needing to use the restroom,
I stop at a rest area and head to the restroom.
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
"Hi, how are you?"
I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
"Doin' just fine!"
And the other person says:
"So what are you up to?"
What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"
At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.
"Can I come over?"
Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them
"No..I'm a little busy right now!"
Then I hear the person say nervously...
"Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions."
Cell phones; don't you just love them?
I stop at a rest area and head to the restroom.
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
"Hi, how are you?"
I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
"Doin' just fine!"
And the other person says:
"So what are you up to?"
What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"
At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.
"Can I come over?"
Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them
"No..I'm a little busy right now!"
Then I hear the person say nervously...
"Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions."
Cell phones; don't you just love them?
Daddy's Poem
Her hair was up in a pony tail,
her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
and she couldn't wait to go.
But her mummy tried to tell her,
that she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
if she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid;
she knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
of why he wasn't there today.
But still her mother worried,
for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
she tried to keep her daughter home.
But the little girl went to school
eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
a dad who never calls.
There were daddies along the back wall,
for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
anxious in their seats
One by one the teacher called
a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
as seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name,
every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
a man who wasn't there.
'Where's her daddy at?'
She heard a boy call out.
'She probably doesn't have one,'
another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back,
she heard a daddy say,
'Looks like another deadbeat dad,
too busy to waste his day.'
The words did not offend her,
as she smiled up at her Mum.
And looked back at her teacher,
who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
came words incredibly unique.
'My Daddy couldn't be here,
because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
and how much he loves me so.
He loved to tell me stories
he taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
and taught me to fly a kite.
We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.
'Cause my daddy's always with me,
even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
he'll forever be in my heart'
With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
beneath her favorite dress.
And from somewhere in the crowd of dads,
her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
who was wise beyond her years.
For she stood up for the love
of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
doing what was right.
And when she dropped her hand back down,
staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
but its message clear and loud.
'I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
but heaven's just too far.
You see he is a soldier
And died just this past year
When a roadside bomb hit his convoy
and taught brave men to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away.'
And then she closed her eyes,
and saw him there that day.
And to her mother?s amazement,
she witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
all starting to close their eyes.
Who knows what they saw before them,
who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
they saw him at her side.
'I know you're with me Daddy,'
to the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
of those once filled with doubt.
Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.
And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
that heaven is never too far.
her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
and she couldn't wait to go.
But her mummy tried to tell her,
that she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
if she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid;
she knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
of why he wasn't there today.
But still her mother worried,
for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
she tried to keep her daughter home.
But the little girl went to school
eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
a dad who never calls.
There were daddies along the back wall,
for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
anxious in their seats
One by one the teacher called
a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
as seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name,
every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
a man who wasn't there.
'Where's her daddy at?'
She heard a boy call out.
'She probably doesn't have one,'
another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back,
she heard a daddy say,
'Looks like another deadbeat dad,
too busy to waste his day.'
The words did not offend her,
as she smiled up at her Mum.
And looked back at her teacher,
who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
came words incredibly unique.
'My Daddy couldn't be here,
because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
and how much he loves me so.
He loved to tell me stories
he taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
and taught me to fly a kite.
We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.
'Cause my daddy's always with me,
even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
he'll forever be in my heart'
With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
beneath her favorite dress.
And from somewhere in the crowd of dads,
her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
who was wise beyond her years.
For she stood up for the love
of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
doing what was right.
And when she dropped her hand back down,
staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
but its message clear and loud.
'I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
but heaven's just too far.
You see he is a soldier
And died just this past year
When a roadside bomb hit his convoy
and taught brave men to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away.'
And then she closed her eyes,
and saw him there that day.
And to her mother?s amazement,
she witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
all starting to close their eyes.
Who knows what they saw before them,
who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
they saw him at her side.
'I know you're with me Daddy,'
to the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
of those once filled with doubt.
Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.
And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
that heaven is never too far.
Today is Friday, 2/6
Today is "Pay A Compliment" Day
It's sad to think that someone had to dream up and create one day out of the year to give a compliment. Compliments should be given at least once a day to someone. I know I feel good when I give and receive compliments.
It's great to give compliments to friends and family. It's also wonderful to compliment people that least expect it like people you have never met or hardly know. A small compliment can take anyone's mood and turn it around for the better.
Have you given or received a TRUE compliment today? How did it make you feel?
It's sad to think that someone had to dream up and create one day out of the year to give a compliment. Compliments should be given at least once a day to someone. I know I feel good when I give and receive compliments.
It's great to give compliments to friends and family. It's also wonderful to compliment people that least expect it like people you have never met or hardly know. A small compliment can take anyone's mood and turn it around for the better.
Have you given or received a TRUE compliment today? How did it make you feel?
Don't Forget This Weeks Classified Ad Listings
If you have an item or items you'd like to sell, post them here on Salisbury News for FREE. Send your info to, alberobutzo@wmconnect.com today and we'll have them up for tomorrow morning.
Dear Pets
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years ~ canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is: Kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough !
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink ,don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years ~ canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is: Kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough !
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink ,don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
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