Why Men Don't Win

One day my housework-challenged husband decided

to wash his Sweatshirt .

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room,

he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the
washing machine?'

'It depends,' I replied.

'What does it say on your shirt?'

He yelled back, ' OHIO STATE ! '

And they say blondes are dumb....

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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world...'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you........
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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,'
Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the
lawn like this?' 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
and Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be
men.
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Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy..
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Q: What does it
mean when a man is in your bed gasping
for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: Why do men whistle when they
are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe..
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the
email folder 'Instruction Manuals'