Why I Will Vote Democratic

Why I will vote the Democrat ticket.....

I will vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my dog Tango.

I will vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

I will vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

I will vote Democrat because Freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

I will vote Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they are doing because they now think we are good people.

I will vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

I will vote Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

I will vote Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

I will vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.

I will vote Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.

I will vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite The Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

I will vote Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my YOU KNOW WHAT, that it is unlikely I'll ever have another point of view.