Frustrated
I know against all the other problems in the world this probably is considered small. To my 8th grade daughter it is not. My daughter is a 8th grade student at Salisbury Middle School. Tomorrow is the Formal Farewell Dance. The deadline to purchase the tickets was earlier this week. It must have completely slipped our minds, we just forgot. Under any normal circumstances I would just explain to her you have to be responsible and remember. My daughter was in a car accident at an early age that left her in a wheel chair. She has adapted to this and become a wonderful young woman who is happy with her self and her life.
The past few months have been challenging for her. She is being tested for a condition called autonomicdysreflexia. This is caused by high blood pressure and has been causing her to have severe miagrane like headaches so she has missed a lot of school. Keep in mind that she herself is responsible for self cathing every 4 hours to drain her bladder, keep up with her bowel program, intense at home therapy and empi program every single night along with regular chores and homework.
I called the school and spoke to the vice principal and Mrs. Eskridge (the principal). They stand firm on the decision of NOT letting her go. She has prepared for this dance for a few weeks now. I was really upset so I called the board of education who will not return my call. I know that it is in the interest of being fair. If you give my child one then you have to give every other child one who wants to go and didn’t make the deadline.
All I asked for was a tiny break for my baby. Something she very rarely asks for. She has been dealt enough challenges in this life with appointments in Baltimore, Philly and so on. Was I really asking for to much?
Thank you
Upset mommy
DelMarVa's Premier Source for News, Opinion, Analysis, and Human Interest Contact Publisher Joe Albero at alberobutzo@wmconnect.com or 410-430-5349
48 comments:
Sad world we live in that some people just don't care! This is very disturbing especially when it involves a child with a disability.
I absolutely DO NOT think you are asking too much. Considering all your daughter has been through and will probably go through for a long time, I think it is horrible they will not allow her an exception. Considering all she has been through, allowing your daughter to go is the least they can do!
NO! you are not asking for too much! and damn them if they dont give her a ticket!
Speaking from experience --- if your child has an IEP that says they have extended amount of time to complete projects or such you might be able to go that route. An IEP is a legal binding document and if they chose not to comply they can be held responsible in a court of law. I have found that once you mention the IEP and exception that this would apply to they tend to see things your way.
Sounds like your daughter has a lot more to deal with than the average middle school student and has done so successfully. I know there were reminders for the ticket deadline on the school's morning announcements and by the teachers in the classrooms and it was announced during the lunch periods when the tickets were sold. The deadline was emphatically announced each time. When dealing with deadlines, it's tough to be fair when you start to accept extenuating circumstances. I respect Mrs. Eskridge's attempt to teach responsibility to the students and maintaining fairness by not allowing excuses.
At the same time, my heart hurts for your daughter. I would feel the exact same way...and have when my daughter did not meet her goals because of her lack of planning.
OUTRAGEOUS! is the only thing I can say about that school and any of the staff that won't even make an exception...if your life hasn't been so busy and hectic with what you've got going on I'd say it was your fault for not filling out the form but in your case I would certainly make an exception...if for no one else I would have allowed your daughter to go!!! Shame on that school! Its not asking to much either...
God bless you and your daughter lets pray the school will do the right thing and let your daughter attend.
your daughter being in a wheelchair does not excuse her from playing by the 'rules'. nor should it entitle her to special treatment from anyone. i find a lot of stories where handicapped people want to be treated like everyone else, then when they are, similiar stories to yours arise.
HOWEVER, the fact that you can see the dilemma that the school board is having is respectable and makes me believe that you are not simply thinking about yourself and your daughter. also, you were willing to admit your mistake of letting it slip your mind.
therefore, i would have to agree with the above comments of saying they should allow an exception, BUT dont expect them to make it.
3:22, spoken like a true administrator.
Dear Mommy, As you said, this ruling is in the interest of being fair. I can understand your point of view, and your wish to lessen the disappintments in life for your daughter who has already been through so much. For that matter, most parents would wish their daughter few disappointments. Unfortunately, all lives contain disappointments and we must learn to live with the disappointments, move past them and get on with our lives. I'm sorry that your daughter missed the deadline but you will be unable to "fix" all the disappointments in her life, and it seems that this is one that can't be fixed. I will ask this one question: If you daughter had not been disabled, would you still have tried to get her a ticket to the dance? Disabled or not, handicapped or not, she missed the deadline.
John Fredericksen is a heartless SOB.
331...thats pretty low
3:36PM
Yes he is, but he always gets what he wants! Heartless and selfish.
that principle is a d*ck..and should know that karma is a b*tch, hope she realizes whats good for and allows her to attend the dance!
3:22 & 3:31
I'm not this childs mother, but know them VERY well. Bringing up her disability was not to get more sympathy, it was to understand the full perspective of the story and reason behind her frustration. She has missed a lot of school do to out of town & state appointments and the severity of her recent migranes and high blood pressure. Had she been in school all day every day, she might have heard more than one of those daily reminders and they wouldn't be in this situation to begin with. Everybody, handicaped or not, disabled or not, deserves a break every now & then...even you.
Every single one of her classmates should stand behind her and say, if she can't go, I guess we can't either, and then really, truly not show up.
Anonymous said...
your daughter being in a wheelchair does not excuse her from playing by the 'rules'. nor should it entitle her to special treatment from anyone. i find a lot of stories where handicapped people want to be treated like everyone else, then when they are, similiar stories to yours arise.
HOWEVER, the fact that you can see the dilemma that the school board is having is respectable and makes me believe that you are not simply thinking about yourself and your daughter. also, you were willing to admit your mistake of letting it slip your mind.
therefore, i would have to agree with the above comments of saying they should allow an exception, BUT dont expect them to make it.
3:30 PM
Thanks Dr. Freddy....now get back to work or I will rip another finger off your hand you stupid moron!!
Would you guys have the same thoughts that you have now about this situation if the girl was NOT disabled?
Don't get me wrong. God bless her and I'm sure her courage and heart are off the charts. But being in high school only a couple of years ago, EVERY single dance that we had the deadline to buy tickets was announced a month ahead and every single day, multiple times a day so "it slipped my mind" isn't a valid excuse whatsoever. It's just not fair to the other kids (like you said), as much as this tugs at my heartstrings.
Everyone that reads this shouldcall the BOE. State your displeasure with the ruling, be polite but firm. It is our taxes that pay for the school system regardless of whether we have children that benefit from it.
I think this is an outrage!! The child has missed a lot of school due to recent illness and they can't make an exception? BS! If anyone of you has ever experienced a migraine headache, you completely understand what it means. Your ability to focus is very limited. This child deserves to go to this formal dance. Exceptions are made all the time. If this was this a$$shole's daughter, he would do it for her. Watch how quickly the BOE responds now that Joe has this posted on his website. And another thing, if they decide that they are not going to let her go, then THEY are the ones that have to tell her. NOT YOU!!
I am sorry if she doesn't get to go...however I see her most fridays at Fuel...and she is a great asset to the group and I like seeing her smilinng face...so if i see her i'll know its because she wasn't allowed to go....if i don't see her then i'll know she was and we'll be missing her :o)
Nikki
Mom.....you owe her big time.
Anonymous said...
John Fredericksen is a heartless SOB.
3:36 PM
What do you expect. He is an Obama loving liberal moron!!
I have to agree with 4:23 in that rules were not followed disability or not. Though the daughter has disabilities, the mother does not and there is no reason to use it as an excuse. Part of the education is learning to follow rules. They were not followed so get over it.
more than one way to skin a cat!
what goes around comes around! Those heartless sob's will get their's in the end, maybe someone might just want to step up and make it happen a little sooner! lol!
I'm sure a few of those illegal unemployed ms13 members wouldn't mind making a little cash on the side! You know, the ones that don't exist around here!
anonymous 5:33, Barrie Tilghman and Chief Webster claim they don't exist, remember?
Educators are a compassionate and intelligent group. They have determined that this individual is best served by being taught a lesson about rules.
Trust and support them.
Is there a security threat if someone signs up late? Why is it there there is a cut off? It is not like they could not accommodate this any other child up until Fri. morning.
Isn't there a law that allows diabled/handicap children extra time for tests, etc? There are also always exceptions to rules and regulations and school dance cut off ticket sales! I can't see the reason for a cut off to buy a ticket to a school dance. It's not like it's a sit down dinner where they have to have an exact head count, and even then you can always add one or two more people after the cut off day!
If the daughter has missed a lot of school recently then yes she should be permitted to attend the dance because she was not there to be constantly reminded of the deadline. It is very simple contact the Americans with Disability Org. about possible violations of ADA laws. I am sure there are many who are willing to step up for the daughter if in fact her delay is due to her ongoing medical complications.
Then again my son has a documented disability that clearly shows he has visual complications yet the school refuses to acknowledge his disability when grading certain projects that are very difficult for him to complete at a "normal" level. Seems many counties on the eastern shore march to the beat of their own drums, as if Maryland and federal laws do not apply to them.
Wow, is this really what the world is coming to? Here is a child who has much more to cope with than the average 8th grader, it was an honest mistake, that could have a potentially easy fix. No mom you won't be able to fix every forgetful situation, but in this case it is not asking too much. I bet all of the above who disagree have "had strings pulled" in their life. Keep up the good work on raising a great child and standing behind her! It's what our society needs!
We had a play at the school where I teach last night and had to turn away students and parents who did not purchase tickets before hand NO EXCEPTIONS. Why not see if any of her friends (who followed the rules and purchased a ticket on time) would be willing to give them their ticket? It is only the biggest dance of the year and I know that students and parents have known about this dance for a long time...my niece is a student there.
Typical of the mentality of school teachers and BOE employees. Look what they just did to the principals and VP's. Their part time teacher part time mayor is turning his back on a friend. A friend who helped him get elected. What a heartless SOB he is as well.
I believe there is a law, but how do we know this student has an IEP. What if the student is cognitively on-level. Should they get special treatment?
odd that I have seen first hand many exceptions made...even some students graduate from high school that did deserve to...let's see for four year be sent to alternative school each year and have no service learning hours, but two days before graduation had all the hours and credits.....get real..make the exception
Seems to me the best solution would be for the class as a whole request she be allowed to go! That will put pressure on the BOE more than any of us.
It amazes me...do those people have no heart who denied her a ticket....how could you sleep at night...i mean honestly i am by far not the fairest or caringest( i know its not a word) person, not even close, but damit i couldnt go to sleep at night if i told a handicapped little girl she couldnt attend a farewell dance...that is horrible man
If someone would give her their ticket, could she then go? If so, I would like to donate a gift to the person that gives up their ticket to this young woman.
An IEP is for the student not the parent. If the IEP requires extra time for the student to turn in assignments, etc. it does not cover the parent paying for a dance.
At my son's school, the dance tickets are recorded with the child's name so that they cannot be given away or stolen and have someone not authorized to come in. The cut-off is usually only necessary for the purchase of snacks, etc.
However, I think that this dance, the 8th grade farewell, is a special event, unlike other standard dances and exceptions should be made for this student and all others who thought they may not have been able to make it, then had plans change, etc.
Is this the same policy for proms, which, essentially, this amounts to for middle school?
Dr. Freddy is burning a lot of bridges isn't he!!
CC (7:58) name an example. I know you won't though.
Disability or not, this is a very important event for a lot of middle schoolers... why is there a strict deadline? I remember the 8th grade dance (many moons ago) and tickets were available at the door! What do they do at this dance that they need such a stringent deadline.
Upset Mommy... I have found Dr. F. responds much quicker by email! Be firm, explain the story just the way you did here and I think you will get what you need/want.
John Fredericksen is a heartless SOB.He has no morals. He sleeps with one of his central staff.She will probably be the next assistant supt.He doesn't care about handicapped students. He is in the job for the money and power over all of you.
What ever happened to common sense? I have to agree w/those saying why even have a deadline for a dance ticket. I'm curious to know how many of you heartless people who responded have forgotten to RSVP for a wedding or birthday party or some other event on time? I for one have. We are ALL HUMAN for God's sake! And weddings and birthday parties involve food and other favors, etc.that need a count. I'll bet many of you have forgotten due to being busy or having it be an honest mistake and have apologized to the host and called to ask if it is too late to come. How would you feel if they said no? And how many of you have just showed up w/out RSVPing? Get real. This is something so petty that can mean the world to an 8th grade girl who won't even be able to "dance" if she is in a wheelchair but thinks enough of her friends and school to want to attend. Rules get bent all the time. Let's look at how many times our judges bend rules for criminals and deadbeat Dads which is far more important for those rules to be enforced! A small price to pay to allow a disabled girl a ticket after the deadline. Big deal. Please allow her to go and anyone else who may have had a change of plans or forgot. Just do the right thing! Is the dance not for the students? Or is it to please the principal and the BOE. I'd get the PTA involved too, especially if they help support the event. Good luck!
I'm with the school on this one.
She waited till' it was too late, if the school made an exception for her then they would for all the people who waited till' it was too late, it wouldn't be fair, this has nothing to do with the fact she is handicapped, its the girls parent's fault.
Anonymous said...
John Fredericksen is a heartless SOB.He has no morals. He sleeps with one of his central staff.She will probably be the next assistant supt.He doesn't care about handicapped students. He is in the job for the money and power over all of you.
12:14 AM
Name names! I thought he was sleeping with one of the female board members!!
The members of the Board of Education should be given details if Dr. Fredericksen is sleeping with a member of the staff. There aren't that many females in line to become an assistant superintendent, so how difficult would it be to identify the person. Both should be fired. I don't see Mr. Fitzergerald, Dr. Chase, Mr. Willey, Mrs. Wright, or Mrs. Holloway ever putting up with this kind of behavior.
EVERYONE needs to STOP with the cheating crap. I will not publish ANY more of it. If you want to use your registered name with Blogger, fine. But NO MORE!
Post a Comment