I went out there and noticed everything was gone off of everyone's graves even the flowers that were in my grandparents vase. I called and questioned them and was told that the new manager (Jim Welch who isn't even from around here) is enforcing some rules which I never knew existed and nothing is allowed to be put on the graves unless it is in a vase on the tombstone. I am outraged. I always put a hanging basket of flowers to remember my parent and I can't anymore. They took my solar light off of my parents grave. So that means no solar lights, no statues, no hanging baskets, no flags, no shepherds poles....no nothing! How insensitive can any body be? If you had something on your loved ones graves go out there and see them in the office because they are holding it for a while. This is so upsetting. If this is upsetting to you too call them and let them know. I am beyond angry. This may be a small thing to some but my Mom and Dad loved flowers and I made sure they always had flowers and a solar light. Well I am not going to let this go. Call and let them know if you aren't happy about this!!!! Outraged and hurt! Please share this so others will know!
56 comments:
Most cemeteries have flower placement rules! Most cemeteries expecially during mowing season remove ALL flowers each week. Also each cemetery has a published list of what is acceptable to be placed on graves. This is not disrespectful this is just needed maintance procdures necessary at ALL cemeteries.
I understand how you feel. And I am not associated with them. But I have been there after a wind storm and there was stuff strewn about the whole place. And their staff has to pick it up every single time. People also put stuff in the most awkward place and they have to navigate around it when trying to maintain the property.
Everyone is always trying to bend the rules to suit them instead of following the rules for those who have to clean up after you.
I am sure everyone can come to some agreement and find a middle ground where you loved ones can be honored and the staff doesn't have to pick up behind you.
Hang in there, and Fight the good Fight!!!!!!!!!
Im sorry that this was handled in this manner, but they are within their rights! When you purchase a plot there are always rules, and they are always spelled out. It isn't the cemetaries fault that you chose not to read or obey them. Some people only place a flower arrangement, others decide to decorate the entire grave. What does it matter that the guy who is running it, isnt from around here? He obviously knows how to read and enforce rules, unlike you!
That's disgusting! I'd be really upset too! Wicomico Memorial Park and Springhill Memory Gardens are now owned by a publicly traded company that owns 230 cemeteries. All they are trying to do is sell, sell, sell and they don't care about grave maintenance and family dignity. It's really a shame.
Fact is, a lot of things weren't dignified to the surroundings. I don't want to go visit family and friends gravesites and have the place looking like a trailer park in Arizona.
"Oh, look honey, Mrs. Jones plastic pink flamingo flock is back!"
@8:45 you said it, grave maintenance! They can't maintain the grass with junk all over it!
The rule should have always been enforced. You can't have a free-for-all.
My father liked to drink whiskey. Is it okay if I leave a bottle on his grave-site?
Doesn't the office sell flowers? And encourage you to buy a flower package so you don't have to worry about holidays? If I recall correctly, they sold flowers that stand alone and don't go in the vases.
It is not true to say "When you purchase a plot there are always rules" This because many of these plots were purchased decades ago and back then they did not have these rules. It is a sign of how lazy society has become. They don't want the extra burden of having to mow or weed eat around the displays.
8:45 You sound like one of those kind of people who are a chronic complainer. If you don't like what other people do on their family's grave area then feel free to buy your own plot of land and create either a private cemetery for your family or sell to the public with rules attached. It is that simple.
also 8:44 I would like to add many cemeteries that once allowed elaborate granite and marble tomb stones for forever now if they need replacing only allow the flat ground markers. So again to even suggest the rules were always like this is just not the truth.
I'm sure the people buried there don't mind , so get a grip and just follow the rules. Change is constant , remember that phrase.
And now the cemetery has some decorum. Was much needed, and why he was hired. He is doing what he was hired to do. It is not someone's backyard to decorate however they want. Those solar lights are just creepy. The dead are not afraid of the dark. They don't need a nite lite.
They could have sent out a letter giving families 30 days to remove their stuff and then put the policy in place.
There is no kindness or respect in the world anymore. The new world motto - it'a all about me.
9:01 Jack Daniels, Black Label please.
I was given a bronze vase purchased from them and anchored in the ground by them in front of my husband's marker over 10 yrs. ago. Imagine my shock when I went out to put flowers in it to find it gone and the office telling me they didn't know what happened to my vase and to other's that had also complained. If this was the beginning of the new rules, I was not notified.
Cemeteries are a waste of precious real estate and an eye sore. Why do we need parks full of rotting corpses in boxes and vaults ? If the people have gone to the afterlife what purpose does it serve to preserve and memorialize their earthy remains for eternity. Cremation is far more practical and respectful. Ashes to ashes dust to dust. Every consider your beloved ones souls are trapped there ?
My parents graves did not come with a an affixed vase, so we can't decorate at all not even with the apparatuses you attach on top is what you're saying? They should allow for at least one bunch of flowers per grave, that isn't excessive. And our family does check on them and keep it tidy and change them for the seasons, we are only minutes away.
Enforcing existing rules, i.e. doing the job he was hired to do.
Don't like the rules lobby to change them, don't get upset when someone is hired to do a job, then does the job.
9:44 why should they have sent out a letter? The rules haven't changed! Your right with that new motto - it's all about me! Why didn't they mail me a letter? WAA WAA WAA!!!!!
If people visited often enough to collect their own wilted and dead flowers it might not be so much of a problem, but most people wouldn't care to make such an effort.
Grandma probably wouldn't like having her grave littered with dead things and a long while between visits, don't you think?
Who owns this cemetery?
Last name? I'll stop by and enjoy one "with him"
Anonymous said...
9:44 why should they have sent out a letter? The rules haven't changed! Your right with that new motto - it's all about me! Why didn't they mail me a letter? WAA WAA WAA!!!!!
April 3, 2019 at 11:07 AM
I've got a feeling that 11:07 is affiliated with that cemetery.
April 3, 2019 at 11:07 AM Troll much?
Because they changed an obviously long standing policy in allowing it. So the professional and respectful thing to do is inform everyone that they will not allow it going forward and give them a little time to comply. That's what professional people do. Not this knee jerk reaction.
Certainly sounds like an employee defending their ignorant actions.
Rules change over time!
Actually I’m not! I’m tired of people thinking that rules don’t apply to them! You don’t own the plots why do you think you can do whatever you want? If you owned that land you would be paying property taxes on it but you don’t so follow the rules!!!!
My family members are buried there! The most recent was 3 years ago! When we purchased the plot we were told then! I have followed the rules! When we visit their graves other people’s decorations have been blown onto our plot, why.... because they didn’t care!!!!!!
It is a symbolism. Your last be a n s ate gone. Their souls have move on. You can respect your departed love ones from your home in prayer for their souls. The practice of putting flowers, etc on grave sites is not for your departed love ones. It is for you and you only. Don't waste your money on plastic flowers from China. Spend it on a life that needs it or would just be thankful for your love. And pray for your departed souls
April 3, 2019 at 1:47 PM
Apparently the rules didn't apply to anyone because they were not enforced.
That falls on the cemetery manager.
And you are offended that people are offended because he immediately decided to enforce a rule that have not been enforced in years?
Aren't you a special kinda snowflake.
Your hostility is quite interesting.
This is what happens when you pay your people poorly and do not manage your business properly.
The cemetery created this mess.
April 3, 2019 at 1:47 PM
Every plot payment pays the taxes for them.
Find a new argument because that one is BS and stupid
Its not like the owner is paying it out of his pocket, it is factored into the purchase price.
Get real.
11:07 FYI the rules for the Wicomico Memorial Park have changed! When we purchased our lots there were no such ridiculous rules. Only since this new corporation & new manager have come aboard that there have been problems. We never would have purchased lots had we known. When an American flag(new one every couple of months)& a Veterans of Foreign War metal grave marker that has been there for 16 years is removed, it is sad. As far as grass maintenance, we, ourselves, have to go with our weed eater to make the gravesite neat; it is so unkept. We'll see if Jim Welch has "new" & better rules for his grass maintenance this year!
Don't forget we have another cemetery in Salisbury, Parsons on North Division Street, a beautiful place.
Springhill Memory Gardens does the same thing. If they are so concerned about the grounds, why don't they keep the grass cut in the summertime? I have to rip away the crabgrass growing over my parents marker to even see their name. I called them once about the grass always looking so shabby and unkempt in the summer and I was told that they do keep it cut (I beg to differ since I am local and go out there a lot. They said we have paved the roads in the cemetery. NO, they have not! They paved just a little way in so it appears that the roads are paved. The dust flies when you drive through there in dry weather. I am embarrassed when out of town family visit that cemetery. For what they charge, you would think they would at least keep it looking respectful
10:47- You sound like you never cared for anyone but yourself.
April 3, 2019 at 9:01 AM:
I know somebody that goes to a church cemetery in Snow Hill, every year on his father's birthday, and has a drink and leaves the bottle on the headstone for someone else to throw away...in a CHURCH cemetery! And some people think he needs a letter to tell him it is inappropriate and against the rules. Hell, he doesn't care about one single grave in that graveyard, or any of the deceased relatives, other than his dad's grave. Inconsiderate and ignorant people are just that. They have no excuse. Doesn't stop some people here from trying to make them though. Whether it is a whiskey bottle or a nite lite, it is why there are rules for cemeteries. There must be decorum to be a respectful resting place for all loved ones buried there. It's always amazing how "special" some people think they are, including the one that made the post.
April 3, 2019 at 4:51 PM
Geesh, there is so much wrong with your comment, I am not sure where to begin.
If you had bothered to read ALL the previous comments. The cemetery just made this rule. It didn't exist before. So no one was acting special.
There is a big difference between drinking in public and leaving flowers.
I guess the business manager should be having him arrested, and doesn't. What does that tell you? He is special because no one stops him. And you would think after years of doing this someone would have stopped him by now.
Is he rude. Sure. But it must not bother them that much if they don't stop him. Seems to bother you more and he is your friend. Why don't you say something to him instead of crying on a blog?
I'll bury my loved ones in my own back yard ! Screw a cemetery ! Then IM the boss !
9:01 Why not? They pulled the flower I planted in front of my fathers grave but left the beer bottles on the grave beside him. I finally took the bottles off the grave, took them into their office and smashed them on the managers glass desk 🤷♀️ You see I asked nicely several times to no avail. So I took matters into my own hands. Those of you that are upset I understand. But I’ll warn you. Calling won’t do a damn thing and neither will calling their home office. They did nothing about my situation. Thus I took care of it myself. Never saw another beer bottle on the other grave again.
1:47 That would be great IF they enforced all the rules but they don’t !
I don't go to family graves because I said goodbye and they are no longer on this earth. I love them and I cry sometimes.....but not to an empty hole in the ground.
Chuck Foskey
Jim Welch, new manager, claims all these restrictions are for the sole purpose of beautification. Start with the roads with blacktop completely washed out, grass unkept, branches in the road etc. I had a long talk with him and it's all about selling you a bronze vase or one of his cheaply made flowers. In the items removed and tossed behind his shed were very personal items that can't be replaced, small American flags lying in the mud and Veteran's plaques uprooted and in the rubble. What harm does a solar light do if it brings comfort to a grieving family member. This is insane and I would not bury my cat out there.
I went by there today to look for our family wreath. All the items in your picture are gone.
So thought Foskey family owned this? Wow, poor management from the previous owners I guess caused a sale that caused all this. Daddy be proud big boy.
funny, after this mass removal or personal items, we get a letter from them selling things to place on the graves as a package and continual service. Money sure does come before respect
April 3, 2019 at 5:43 PM:
I must have hit somebody's nerve! Nobody is crying. Just comparing graveyards and what people do. I visit many graveyards as a study of our long local history. I see many items left on graves. It is sad, and a reflection of many people's feeling of loss for their loved ones. But these are recent loses. The 100 years old(plus) graves are not littered with mementos. They are simply stones marking ones time on this planet. The litter in graveyards come from the living, not the dead. Its a hard point for some to swallow. And it a public graveyard, there has to be rules. Tacky becomes disrespect to the dead and their neighboring gravesites. Go to Arlington cemetery and see how our nation's veterans and war dead are honored. You won't see any of the trash that the writer complained about being removed from the graves at Wicomico cemetery. Arlinton has rules that are strictly enforced. And instead of feeling like you're in a trailer park of cemeteries, you feel nothing but solemn awe and respect. It what we should feel in every graveyard. Hard to do around here with some of the "momentos" that many leave behind after visiting their loved ones graves.
Two generations, and the deceased in graves are forgotten. The living never knew them. Our lives are so temporary is is pathetic. A stone is a stone, and a grave is a grave. The stone and grave are the only thing left of a brief life on this planet. Family should maintain it by keeping it clear of debris and grass trimmed. I have a great, great grandfather buried out in the forest where there used to be a community, now long gone. I visit from time to time, making sure the stone is not overgrown and taken over by the forest. But time and the forest will eventually reclaim the land and my great great grandfather's grave. It is inevitable, as it is for all of us.
The stones tell the only story of our brief lives. They mark our time here. And even they will crumble over the eons. Honor our dead. Do not dishonor the graves of other families with a "shrine" to your loved one. In a graveyard, everyone is equal (dead). Shrines belong in the home, not in a graveyard.
April 3, 2019 at 5:43 PM:
You seem to have confused me with someone you know. I visit that graveyard to visit family members that are interred there. There was nothing personal in my comment, just an observation, based on the date on the stone, and when the remembrances are left behind for all to see. Just an instance of many, that many on this blog are commenting about. My comment was directed to all those that think cemetery rules don't apply to them, and my comment was just an example of one of many. Sorry if I offended anyone (other than the rule-breakers). I did not mention the name on that stone. Perhaps you know who it is.
If the bronze vases are gone there is an great chance they were stolen and sold as scrap metal. Thieves roam cemeteries and steal as many as they can then sell them to metal recyclers.
Our society is going to the dogs.It seems people just don't give a damn anymore about others feeling or well being.I own two lots there and my immediate deceased family members are there.Things have really changed since the Foskey family sold it and not for the better.Wire grass grows all over the flat monuments if you don't keep it sprayed with roundup which management should do.I understand they now charge $1600.00 to dig and fill a grave ON THE GROUND YOU OWN if you don't do a PRE-ARRANGEMENT with them. SLEAZY AND GREEDY!!
What's next solar powered monitors with looping video tributes and memorials ? We are not Egyptians people. The Christian after life if there is one does not require a body . You want to leave a record go on Ancestry.com or write a book. In some places Cemeteries are the last bastions of any green spaces. They will soon become too valuable to remain such. Bones will end up stacked anonymously like the catacombs of Paris. Many inner city parks here in the states were all Grave Yards once. Burial was once a practical, superstitious and sanitary tradition but we are no longer cave men. I could see if you just got tossed in a hole to rot and biodegrade and return to hence where you came but the funeral industry the embalming the caskets the vaults the plots etc. It just preys on peoples emotions nostalgic notions. Send me out like Hunter S Thompson. My kids are too cheep for that though. I have spent my wife their mothers life insurance and what I have goes to charity. If they bury me I will haunt them for eternity.
When I die, I expect nothing but the very best. Hefty cinch sack or Glad force flex. No walmart "great value " brand. And you might want to consider double bagging. I'm on the heavy side.
If all that was picked up in one sweep, that was one trashy graveyard! And the woman complaining was part of the problem!
4:11 Sure can tell you've never put a flower on a love one's grave!
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