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Tuesday, April 03, 2012



I, ____________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills.

If A reasonable amount of time passes, and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
______Vodka Rocks ______a Margarita ____ a Scotch ______ a Bloody Mary ______a Gin and Tonic _______a Tee Time ______a Steak ______Lobster or crab legs ______the remote control ______a bowl of ice cream ______a new outfit_____the sports page______Sex ______my cat or dog_____or Chocolate, it should be presumed that I won't ever get any better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and call it a day. At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.

Signature:__________________________ Date: _____

NOTE: I also hear that in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients are happier, and they have a lot more visitors. Some of them don't even need embalming when their time comes...


Anonymous said...

I'll drink to that !! :)))

Anonymous said...

let's put pub's in the local homes.