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Monday, January 25, 2010

A Teacher Was Arrested

A teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

'"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values." They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physics will follow.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

too funny!

Anonymous said...

Gonna be a good day on SBYNEWS for the liberals, I can tell! National bash Obama day!This stuff goes good with coffee!

Tim Chaney said...

I was given a nice garnish kit when I was in Kentucky for director orientation.

I was treated like a terrorist at the airport, "Step away from that Bag," I was told! I guess I could take over a plane with a potato peeler and an apple corer!

Anonymous said...

Where to you come up with stuff ? LOL

Anonymous said...

lmao

Anonymous said...

will you get a computer in jail for protesting the socialist movement....

Anonymous said...

Under the circumferences, it's time we differentiated their root, made our point, and drew the line.

Anonymous said...

Clever.

11:37-- Good one.