The Nanny-State Social-Engineering Project That Is The White House

Egg Panels: The nanny-state social-engineering project that is the White House
Easter Egg Roll

By Christopher Beam
Slate.com

The first thing you notice are the lines. A line to get your ID bracelet. A line
to pass through the metal detector. A line to enter the South Lawn. A line for
the bathroom. Even a line to escape.

The White House Easter Egg Roll on Monday was a revealing look at the Obama
administration's love of social engineering-and a chilling glimpse of what fate
may befall the American people if they fail to rise up against it. The theme of
the celebration was, predictably, fitness-an agenda couched in the
friendly-seeming slogan, "Ready, Set, Go!" Kids were encouraged to participate
in a variety of sports, including football, basketball, and hula-hoops. The
purported reason was to get them in good physical shape. The real reason: to
wear down their resistance, through physical exhaustion, to indoctrination.

That indoctrination began before visitors even reached the entrance. While
standing in line, attendees were forced to listen to a musical group called DJ
Willy Wow! and Little Beat the No. 1 Chinchilla. Their message seemed harmless
at first: "There's a party going on/ on the White House lawn." But soon they
were endorsing political apathy, as the duo encouraged children to "Put your
hands in the air/ and wave them like you just don't care."

Once inside, families were presented with a variety of social control
experiments. Foremost was the egg roll itself. Children lined up and, on "go,"
proceeded to push their respective hard-boiled eggs across a small lawn. Not
only does the practice of rolling eggs have no utility in the real world-a
metaphor for the administration's useless "job creation"-children were also
encouraged to cheat. One parent literally held her daughter's arms like a
marionette and scooped the egg forward across the finish line.

Kids were also subjected to the gospel of local, organic food. Whole Foods
passed out bags of fresh fruit, presumably to teach kids that they can expect
free handouts in life. Across the way, kids learned to "Eggspress" themselves by
creating plastic medallions with their names on them-a glorification of the
empty consumerism of hip-hop culture. Local restaurants set up "demo stations"
to show families how to make healthy snacks. However, they were not allowed to
serve the food. "We can't give free samples or the Secret Service will tackle
us," said a man at the serving station for Moto, a high-end Chicago restaurant.
"They're not too fun."

Fun was apparently detained at the White House gate. At the Easter egg hunt,
kids searched through hay for hard-boiled eggs, rather than eggs filled with
candy, i.e., the kind of eggs a child would actually want to hunt for. At the
egg-dyeing station, kids used child-safe egg tongs rather than the usual
octagonal wire. It might poke an eye out! I hoped at the very least to crack
open my egg and have a taste. Not so fast. "Enjoy the beauty of your decorated
eggs but please do not eat them," said a sign. "They are not edible."

The musical performances were part of the messaging, as well. The television
entertainment group Yo Gabba Gabba taught children to follow orders by
instructing them to "hop, hop, hop" because it's "fun, fun, fun." The audience
dutifully obeyed. They followed up with "Party in My Tummy," an ode to
cannibalism. The cast of Glee! later performed a celebration of sexual
desperation ("Somebody To Love"), a gay love ballad sung by two men ("Somewhere
Over the Rainbow"), and the utopian anthem "Don't Stop Believin' ."

Once the children had been sufficiently fatigued, plied with food, and
artistically brainwashed, everyone gathered by the White House balcony to greet
the first family. "Can we go into Barack Obama's house?" one child asked his
father. "No," his father replied, "we have to stay out here." The correct
response, of course, is that it's not Obama's house, it's the American people's
house.

First to emerge was the Easter Bunny-a piece of choreography designed to fill
the children's heads with positive associations, which then transferred directly
to the next pseudo-deity to emerge: Barack Obama. "Happy Easter, everybody," he
said, failing to mention Jesus. Michelle Obama followed up with a pagan prayer:
"Let's say thank you to Mother Nature!" She then proceeded to praise the
benefits of fitness, organic food, and generic Canadian import Justin Bieber.
The last elicited screams.

Even the dissemination of the White House's famous souvenir wooden eggs was an
exercise in government control. In order to keep the 30,000 guests moving
through smoothly, these souvenirs were awarded only to those who left with their
group at the designated time-an obvious behavioral "nudge" dreamed up by Cass
Sunstein. And of course, there was rationing: "Limit one egg per child," the
program stated. "No exceptions."

Article URL: http://www.slate.com/id/2249874/