While this may come as a shock to parents, the study finds that children who were frequently yelled at, called names like “lazy,” or cursed at suffered even if the rest of the parent-child relationship was warm and stable. The effects of the negative language were not as visible as physical abuse to the average person, but rather the problems were more emotional and behavioral.
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17 comments:
I wonder who funded this "study?" Bet it was the pharmaceutical industry who makes a fortune over the drugging up of unruly children. What's amazing is that goofy parents who think it's appalling to whack a child on the rear end or to even yell at them think nothing of giving a child mind altering, brain and liver damaging drugs, that often lead to drug abuse and dependency and even suicide.
How utterly stupid people are getting.
They are trying to make it impossible to be parents.
The new method of genocide.
Their aim no more than 500,000 people on earth.
They already have the birthrate far lower than the 2.1 necessary to sustain itself in the developed world.
This is obviously a polarizing topic.
I know what my childhood was like and I know that the actions my parents took was done out of ignorance. I do not hit my children, or call them names or yell at them in anger.
Believe it or not you can explain and negotiate with a child as early as 2 years old. They can be made to understand the problem if you take the time to calmly explain why what they are doing is wrong and the effects is has on those around your child. If you are in the camp that feels that children should obey your commands then get a dog. A child is a rational human with the ability for complex rational thought. And they will notoriously not do what you ask.
I broke the cycle of abuse in my life through self awareness and constant self reevaluation of my behavior. Unfortunately most people think they are perfect just the way they are. That change is not for them. These people are stuck in a cycle that is usually justified by saying "its how my parents raised me. If its good enough for me it is good enough for my child.". The issue is that the conversation usually stops there if it happens at all.
Is it difficult to reason with a 4 year old? If you lack the life skills to effectively communicate with your child then,yes, it will be hard. There are a host of resources available to help you learn.
Plainly put you have other alternative when it comes to working with your children besides hitting and yelling.
Good Luck.
"Unfortunately most people think they are perfect just the way they are."
Sounds like you should lump yourself into that category with the self righteous tone of your comment. The fact is that these little "rational humans" are all unique beings; some may respond to a nice conversation about their behaviour, others need a wack. Most probably need a mix of both.
Correcting Children's bad behavior is also bad for them. Their little minds need to expand!
4:47-Maybe you better get with just about every expert in the field of child behaviours and psychology and correct them, because the opinion is at 4 years old a child is only beginning to understand logical concepts (reasoning.)
FYI-Here are the universally excepted standards for disciplining a 4 year old.
TIPS FOR DISCIPLINING A 4-YEAR-OLD
Don't try to reason with her. She's too young to understand.
Pick her up and divert her attention.
Catch her being good. Reinforce positive behavior.
Try time-outs or taking away a toy or privilege.
Pick one or two behaviors and just work on changing those.
When you talk to your child about behavior, make it short and concrete and then end the conversation and walk away.
Guess my kids are doomed.
The best thing about "bad parenting" is that you learn, by example, what not to do. There is no place in learning for anger or violence, be it a child or an adult. A simple swat to a trusting child, breaks the trust that took you a long time to build, in just secounds. If you have any humanity in your soul, the outcome you witness, will forever change you. If it didn't, then you couldn't understand my intent herein.
Usually the people who think they have the most insight about parenting are the worst parents. Can't tell them anything.
It sounds as though 4:47 has some deep rooted psychological issues and is trying to relive their life through their child's life now.
The "If you are in the camp that feels that children should obey your commands then get a dog" is doing a huge disservice to a child and is a form of neglect. Life is all about obeying whether it's parents or later on in life things like laws and everyday things like being on time for work, paying bills on time, etc.
That's why the Eastern Shore is saturated with an abundance of ignorant children and adults who have no ambition and are either drug addicts or alcoholics - or both.
The violent parents around here think the solution to reprimand their kids is to YELL at them and give them a "whack" so they grow up YELLING and "whacking" their kids.
It's a never-ending cycle which is why most people around here are backwards and live life with no purpose.
My children were whacked on the butts occasionally and I did yell at them when they angered me and didn't listen.
I was asked recently to collaborate on a book on how to raise successful children. One has completed medical school and is a resident in a southern hospital. We just attended another's White Coat ceremony and she has started med school.
There was a local woman in school years ago who was a volunteer/sub teacher and thought she really knew all there was to know about children. My child knew her children and reported she was abusing them horribly. She lived a life of imaginary power and had a lot of people fooled for a very long time. It was so sad.
Forget about yelling. A no kid ever went to school with trench coat and guns on when parents were allowed to beat their kids. that's the problem with kids these days they are not scared of adults or adult figures. they do what they want this is never any consequences a weekend think the new laws in the social services for that.
I was told that giving them "the look" is also a form of abuse. Because it scares them.
4:47 negotiate with a child as early as 2 years old? God help us I hate to see what kind of parasite you will eventually unleash on society!
I am not negotiating with a 2 yr old or a 12 yr old... I am the parent for a reason. look at todays society...these crazy kids....parent them and stop negotiating with them. Then maybe the can be stable adults.
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