Dear Mr. Obama,
I learned yesterday that you have 'evolving' views on marriage. Just so I fully understand your current views, what you are saying is that you no longer believe that marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman. If it is now open to interpretation, then precisely what is it?
The scene is at the San Francisco Marriage License desk, "Next."
"Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license."
"Names?"
"Tim and Jim Jones."
"Jones? Are you related? I see a physical resemblance."
"Yes, we're brothers."
"Brothers? You can't get married."
"Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?"
"Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!"
"Incest?" No, we are not gay."
"Not gay?? Then why do you want to get married?"
"For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects."
"But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman."
"Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim."
"And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?"
"All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next."
"Hi. We are here to get married."
"Names?"
"John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson."
"Who wants to marry whom?"
"We all want to marry each other."
"But there are four of you!"
"That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship."
"But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples." "So you're discriminating against bisexuals!"
"No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just for couples."
"Since when are you standing on tradition?"
"Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere."
"Who says? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples.
The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!"
"All right, all right. Next."
"Hello, I'd like a marriage license." "In what names?" "David Deets." "And the other man?" "That's all. I just want to marry myself."
"Marry yourself? What do you mean?"
"Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe now I'll be able to file a joint income-tax return."
"That does it! I quit! You people are making a mockery of marriage!"
So, Mr. Obama, exactly how evolved are you?
DelMarVa's Premier Source for News, Opinion, Analysis, and Human Interest Contact Publisher Joe Albero at alberobutzo@wmconnect.com or 410-430-5349
15 comments:
Divorce ruined marriage long before anything else.
well said 4:17
Atheists get married too and it is still called marriage.
When we treat all law abiding citizens the same the world doesn't end.
What's next pedophilia marriage? Both are perversions.
@
5:40
Your attitude is a perversion. Pretty sure the Catholic CHURCH has you covered on the kiddy diddlers. When was the last time you heard of a gay pedophile?
You anti people are saying I want the right to discriminate against someone.
This post really puts a new spin on it.Well written.I want to marry you.
blah..blah..blah, gay marriage. It's 2012. Get over your bigotry and false consensus of what the traditional role of marriage is. Let them marry. It will not lead to man and dog weddings. It will not lead to woman and giraffe weddings. Nor will it lead to cousin marriage, unless you happen to live in one of the many red states that disallow gay marriage but allow cousins to wed and interbreed, yee haw! If a man and man or a woman and woman love each other and want to marry and argue over the same crap that we do, go through the same one partner withholding sex thing like we do and love each other while bickering like we do, LET THEM! Because WE are just like THEM. Quit worrying about the biologics of their sexual acts, for one it makes you look like some judgmental pervert who thinks about gay sex more than gay people think about gay sex and two, its none of your business. These are TWO adults engaging in a relationship of love or companionship(not three-five-twelve-or even 700 as sanctioned by the bible for the son of David, Solomon (along with his 300 whores).
This is 2012. We don't need to multiply in 2012 with 10.6 or likely more billion humans here by 2050, not everyone shares your beliefs and your beliefs have nothing to do with anothers' private adult relationship.
Acknowledge that there is no fundamentally reasonable argument against such unions even though you approve of a civil union for the same people, the same thing as marriage --- and move on to the real cause for your strange, excessive focus on gays sticking what where how and why. This fixation demonstrates your bigotry and well as you to be a very suspect person on the matter.
grown men that like little boys, in my opinion, would be gay pedophiles.
6:33 who cares it's perverse and no matter how much you rail about it that fact doesn't change! Hopefully they'll reap what they sow! AIDS!
@9:02am: If God were handing out STD's for sinning, you sir/madam would be at the free clinic ALL THE TIME.
Perverse? What makes it perverse? Is it preverse if it only occurs in humans. No, it's been recorded in more than 1500 species and is confidently speculated in all/most species. Not historically accepted? really? Tell that to Saint Serge and Saint Bacchus, two Christian martyrs who were wed [by the church] or the many others wed during earliest Christian church. In the sixth century, Severnus of Antioch said "we should not separate in speech [Serge and Bacchus] who were joined in life." A lesson you should learn. But wait, lets not stop that there, gay marriage has been recorded in ancient China, among ancient, classical and present-day native Americans, prevalent in Rome [home to the Vatican], and the whole of classical Europe and Africa, and even occurred among the Mayans, Incas, and one artifact shows as early as the very earliest Mesopotamian culture.
Doesn't sound very perverse after you consider facts from ---'book learning' that you seen apparently allergic too.
Regarding your very ignorant 'AIDS' comment. You do realize every class, color, sexual orientation and gender can get it right? And that with treatment with constant meds HIV doesn't become AIDS these days. It's no longer a death sentence nor is it a gay disease. In fact infections amongs gays is in sharp decline over the last nearly two decades, and has sadly shifted to African americans. Reap what they sow? Gay disease? So why are lesbians the group among ALL who gets it the least? It isn't a gay plague, idiot. It is biological disease, affecting the most ignorant or unprepared who engage in fixed conditions [ie:sex, blood exchange] who get it.
But again, if STD's and AIDS are a punishment for sinning, like wishing deadly disease on people you don't like because you're too ignorant or stupid to acknowledge why you feel the way you do -- [personal bigotry] then good luck with getting your medical assistance. You'll need it. I hear syphillis turns a brain into swiss cheese. Just sayin'...
Wow!! Did 9:02 just say that. That is an evil thing to say.
9:02 Proof that education here is failing.
outstanding 1:50!
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