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Monday, August 11, 2008

The Larson's Speak Out

Dear Joe,

My name is Mr. Larson. You know, the family Barrie Tilghman made famous here in Salisbury.

Well, ever since we moved to this City, things have changed for the worse ever since. We've been robbed 15 times and each time we've called the police they hung up on us.

Yes, that was my wife in one of those pictures you took in front of the Thrift Travel Inn. We don't like it but it has become a necessity in order for us to survive.

Well, anyway, the other night she was arrested because ever since you put up the articles about prostitution she has been kicked out of her room, yes, with John, she has had a very difficult time making ends meet.

Our son was hit in the head by a 2x6 a few months ago when the SU La Cross students went on that rampage and well, you guessed it, we have no health insurance. I mentioned something to the Mayor and quite frankly we got into a heated discussion and the next thing you know we've been slammed with violations on the home the Mayor got us special grants on. I called Louise Smith and she said she'd get back to me on that but we've never received a call back?

The all American city people called me today about verifying the City's application and I told them, well, you only need to guess what I said.

So since your readers are so giving, please have them call 1-900-SAL-BURY as we can only operate out of our home any more, however long that lasts. We need money too so can you help us too? By the way, we love your Blog!

Sincerely,

Mr. Larson

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mr. Larson: If you have a phone (or internet), you have a lawyer. I can't help but note your alleged adversaries have allegedly deep pockets and a possible itch to settle things without all the "ad-bay ublicity-pay"...ig-Day.?

Anonymous said...

Nice made-up post Joe.

Tax Guy said...

Was that tongue in cheek?

Anonymous said...

I hope that some of your not-so-swift readers realize this is satire. So many got incensed over the letter from the lady wanting help for her $150,000 lot; it says much for the intelligence of your readers! Yes, Numbermonkey, this is tongue-in-cheek!

Anonymous said...

Times are tough for everyone, good luck Mrs Larson.
Im sure you will find another corner to stand on.
Hell the cops dont do there job most of the time anyway. If look at joes new camera youll see where there at most of the time,sittin down town doing nothing. Sorry you got busted.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Larsons: if you had checked out Joe's blog before coming to this Barrie-made hell hole, you would have known what you were getting into.....And please, Larsons, ask to be taken out of Barrie's goofy newsletter. I think all you Larsons should become Little Joeys.