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Thursday, January 19, 2017

CULTURAL MEDICAL DICTIONARY

Studies have demonstrated that rednecks have the lowest stress rate because they do not understand the seriousness of most medical terminology:
Medical Term
Redneck Definition
Artery
The study of paintings
Bacteria
Back door to cafeteria
Barium
What doctors do when patients die
Benign
What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section
A neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan
Searching for Kitty
Cauterize
Made eye contact with her
Colic
A sheep dog
Coma
A punctuation mark
Dilate
To live long
Enema
Not a friend
Fester
Quicker than someone else
Fibula
A small lie
Impotent
Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain
Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff
A Doctor's cane
Morbid
A higher offer
 
Nitrates
Rates of Pay for Working at Night, 
Normally more money than Days
Node
I knew it
Outpatient
A person who has fainted
Pelvis
Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative
A letter carrier
Recovery Room
Place to do upholstery
Rectum
Nearly killed him
Secretion
Hiding something
Seizure
Roman Emperor
Tablet
A small table
Terminal Illness
Getting sick at the airport
Tumor
One plus one more
Urine
Opposite of you're out

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This was taught to us at UMES.