8 Things That Won't Get You Banned By The NBA

With the lifetime ban by the NBA of despicably racist Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling, the door is wide open to further sports bans on people who say offensive things in private.

That, of course, is why Sterling was ousted. Everyone knew for decades that Sterling was a disgusting pig racist – he had federal lawsuits led by the Department of Justice against him for discriminating against blacks, Hispanics, and Asians in housing (one allegation in the 2006 DOJ lawsuit: he said black people “smell”). That would have been an excellent reason for ousting Sterling years ago. The NBA did nothing. Neither did the NAACP, which gave him a lifetime achievement award. But now that his 31-year-old consort has released tape of him saying racist things, the thought police have sprung into action – and the NBA has followed.

Good riddance to Sterling. But let’s understand that ginning up the mob based on private feelings is a dangerous business. We now live in a world in which racial feelings are more important than racist acts (as Sterling’s housing discrimination non-ban shows), and in which bad thought trumps bad action.

Here, then, is a brief list of things that will not get you banned by a sports league for life. The good news: if we tape record all of these people and then hand the tape to Harvey Levin, presumably we can get them banned relatively quickly. Because privacy now extends only to comments with which we agree as a society.

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