BREAKING: Obama Announces Resignation from Presidency

WASHINGTON, D.C.– U.S. President Barack Obama shocked the nation—and the world—by announcing his resignation today, effective immediately. “I am through with this second term,” he declared.

In an emergency session of Congress, Vice President Joseph Biden was sworn in as the Forty-Fifth President of the United States.

President Obama explained what motivated his abrupt departure as he addressed a stunned, silent joint session of Congress. “I want to be perfectly clear, there are four main reasons why I’m doing this. First, as many of you know, I became an Indonesian citizen when I was five years old and my stepfather, Lolo Soetoro, adopted me. By doing so, I automatically lost my American citizenship. Over there in Indonesia, I was a devout little Muslim boy from ages five to ten, and my legal name was Barry Soetoro. In fact, my legal name is still Barry Soetoro, and I am still, well… I’m still technically a citizen of Indonesia. You see, I never got around to applying for naturalization back in the states once I turned eighteen. So you could say I’m an illegal alien—that notion would not be incorrect. And an illegal alien cannot be president. It doesn’t matter whether I was born in Honolulu or Oshkosh, I cannot in good faith serve as your president. It’s unconstitutional. It’s been gnawing at my conscience”
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