THE TOP 31 THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR AN EASTERN SHORE BOY SAY:

>> 31. When I retire, I'm movin' north.
>>
>> 30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
>>
>> 29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
>>
>> 28. Duct tape won't fix that.
>>
>> 27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken
>>
>> 26. We don't keep firearms in this house.
>>
>> 25. You can't feed that to the dog.
>>
>> 24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
>>
>> 23. Wrestling is fake.
>>
>> 22. We're vegetarians.
>>
>> 21. Do you think my gut is too big?
>>
>> 20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
>>
>> 19. Honey, we don't need another dog.
>>
>> 18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
>>
>> 17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
>>
>> 16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
>>
>> 15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
>>
>> 14. Trim the fat off that steak.
>>
>> 13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
>>
>> 12. The tires on that truck are too big.
>>
>> 11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE.
>>
>> 10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
>>
>> 9. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
>>
>> 8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
>>
>> 7. Checkmate
>>
>> 6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
>>
>> 5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
>>
>> 4. I don't have a favorite college team.
>>
>> 3. You Guys.
>>
>> 2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.
>>
>> AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR AN EASTERN SHORE BOY
>> SAY:
>> 1. Nope, no more beer for me. I'm driving a whole bus load of us down to
>> re-elect OBAMA!