No nursing home for us. I am checking into the Holiday Inn!
With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per day, there is a
better way when we get old and feeble.
I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term
stay discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for: Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service,
laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.
Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer,
etc .. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
$5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.
The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).
To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.
For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice
restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your
reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn , or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.
T V broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem.
They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.
The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see
if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and
probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grand kids can use the pool.
What more can you ask for?
10 comments:
LOL ya know this does seem more logical and practical..not to mention you can save more money.
If one is well enough to stay at a Holiday Inn, then one can continue to live at home, Joe. We're committing our mother because she has All-timers and runs away in the middle of the night.
Anon 9:18...
too bad it is Alzheimer's.....not all-timers....
But will they change your diaper?
It is "Old-Timers"
Can I check in now?
Shame some don't see the humor in this. I'm already in a state assisted system but I can also joke about things instead of living life way too seriously.
Laughter does make life go by easier! Try it sometime!
12:34 I'm with you!!
True, so true.
Not me, Joe!
I'm going out in style at the North End Commercial District assisted living facility.
Bubba's Topless Bar & Grill & Assisted Living Paradise will open now that Gary Comegys and the Planning Commission (sounds like a bad rock band) have decided it's a great idea to stick old folks in busy commercial areas. Real restful. Can't wait! Think of all I will save by croaking earlier from not being able to get a good night's sleep. Or the nurse will be noise frazzled and slip me the wrong medicine.
I couldn't believe that idiot on Monday night. He couldn't give Terry Cohen even one example of why doing this is a good way.
Or, you could stay at the Thrift Travel Inn or 29.99 a night, and save even more!
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