As many of you know I lost my Mother to cancer recently. This past weekend her five children met at her home in Annapolis and cleared out her estate. While the beginning wasn't easy, it turned into memory lane and the laughs continued for two straight days.
As many of you have experienced a death in your Family, I thought I'd share some of the arguments we shared while dividing up Mom's things. You see, the Albero Family continues to prove that if you're raised right, greed is the furthest thing from your mind.
I walked in and saw certain piles being started. I didn't know who's piled belonged to, so I simply asked, hey guys, who's taking this picture? My oldest brother Frank replied, well, I was thinking about taking it. Why, do you want it Joe. I said, nah, if you're taking it it's fine with me. Frank replied, no, seriously, if you want it you're more than welcome to take it. Again, I replied, that's OK Frank.
The entire experience went just like that. No one got mad. No one was selfish and not one of us went home after all was said and done with more than what you could carry in your own hands in one trip back to your car. The rest was all donated and recycled for someone else in need.
The title of this Post, "Life After Death" has a meaning. You see, Mom passed away on a Tuesday and Wednesday Jennifer's Son Graham enjoyed the Birth of his first Son, Guage. I think that's how they spelled his name, I'm not exactly sure though. People come up with the craziest names these days and then they spell them all screwed up too. Nevertheless, while we mourned one, we celebrated another. That's just how life works. So we're Grandparents for the second time and we couldn't be more excited.
I hope others can learn from our estate experience. Mom never put anything together saying who gets what because she knew she raised us in such a way, she didn't have to. Material items are just that, items. I'd say we kept 5% of Mom's things, more for memory sake and 95% went to others. My Grandmother told me once after I had lost some money in New York, "Someone needed it more than you did Joe." She's right.
DelMarVa's Premier Source for News, Opinion, Analysis, and Human Interest Contact Publisher Joe Albero at alberobutzo@wmconnect.com or 410-430-5349
16 comments:
Joe, my mom will be gone 2 years Dec 3, the exact scene has taken place at her home with my family, if your raised right those things mean nothing! Kerry
Pap used to run off a batch of applejack every year. I kept the jug he had in the kitchen, for medicinal purposes.
Joe, Feel very blessed that things went this way for you. Unfortunately, it didn't go so great for the four children here. Mom died at young age of illness. Dad died last year unexpectedly only after three years without her. Let me tell you right now as close as I thought my family was and the morals that they had instilled in us, that was thrown out the window the day he laid his head down. It's been unbelievable to me how I could be related to such people. Our family have forever been destroyed by our tragedy. There is no way to repair the damage that has been done. I know, I know what I'm going to hear "Time heals all wounds"; but sometimes it's better to just move on and forget about the ugliness that has destroyed us. All I want is peace. Unfortunately, it will be up to the court to decide the peace. God bless your family and remember my story. Don't let the Devil's work or greed destroy your family like it is doing to mine.
Joe~The wheel of life is so true. Everytime there has been a birth in my family, someone significant in the family passed away.
Your right, material things are just that, things. My Dad passed last night. Due to him knowing he didn't have much time left he gave us what he wanted us to have. As for me, I have paintings he did. The paintings mean so much to me because he did them for me. Memories are the greatest things our loved ones can leave us with.
Congrats on the new grandson. Get me the correct spelling so I can start on another stocking. My crafts are helping me at this time.
Kimmie
10:07: So sad that has happened in your family. From what I've heard over the yrs , this occurs frequently---- and comes as a real Shock to family members. I have heard some older relatives say, "If you want to see a persons true colors---let money be involved!" How unfortunate to think at the end of a loved ones life , family has to react this way.
Joe, you are very blessed, as I'm sure you know. Your Mother is proud , I'm sure ,as your experience was the way it is meant to be.
Death-----then --A New Life----The Circle of Life Continues. E.W.
My grandfather passed away in 1989, a few months later my son was born...the life cycle is amazing. my condolences, sounds like you have a wonderful family...and that is a blessing.
10:07 I feel your pain. While I myself have no hold on my one remaining parents estate I fear that will not be the case with two of my siblings. They have already started their path of mean and it came as a shock to me as well the first time I experienced it.
God Bless you and your family for working things out right. That is how it should be.
Whats in the middle, your, Mirror of Life. The decisions one makes dictates the reflection shining back on one.
Glad all you Alberos had your priorities straight.
10:07, I'm sad for you. It does happen.
Even when things are divided up, some people felt they should have gotten more, or more than others got.
I think it's good when people can do a will that divides things up, or specifies equal division. That way, everyone knows where they stand...and it's good if there's a "why" in there.
Sure helps the courts.
Kimmie...so sorry. We know you'll cherish the memories.
Joe,
I am soo sorry to hear about your mom. I know how it feels..I was 17 when my mom died she was only 38yrs old....I have to say my mother taught us that love is more important than money and this is still with me to this day....so there wasn't any fighting between my brother and I we just split everything down the middle...
my prayers are with you and the family.
she would love to read that! it sounds like she was great mom, sorry for your lose
Thanks for listening to my story too. It's good sometimes to post things anonymously just to get it off your chest. If I can tell you what I've learned from my horrible experience is spell everything out in a will. It was always agreed that my mother's cremated ashes would be buried with my dad. There was even fighting over that. I won that battle and she is where she asked to be. Little did I know that it would just be the beginning of the drama. The one thing I know is that I have done what my parents asked of me and what I thought they believed that they wanted me to do. I have my memories, more memories than they could ever begin to take from me. Respectfully, 10:07
Kimmie:
I know what you mean about your paintings. I have a few of grandfather's paintings that mean more to me than any material possession.
I really do dread the day something happens to my parents. Their house is so full of "stuff" that they wont part with now for some reason. My Dad it is my problem to take care of it once he is gone. I think he is so unfair to think this way and I have told him no problem, I will just back up a dumpster to the door and out it will go. He is so materialistic about everything.....so yes, Joe you are very fortunate to have things go so smooth at a time when things are stressful enough.
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