Only In America

ONLY IN AMERICA ... MUST WE SPEND BILLIONS BECAUSE WE CAN'T LET CHRYSLER GO BANKRUPT, AND THEN, LET CHRYSLER GO BANKRUPT.

ONLY IN AMERICA ... CAN CONGRESS FORCE FANNIE AND FREDDIE TO BUY SUBPRIME LOANS, AND THEN BLAME FANNIE AND FREDDIE FOR BUYING SUBPRIME LOANS.

ONLY IN AMERICA ... YOU CAN BE LEGALLY ILLEGAL.

ONLY IN AMERICA ... THE CONGRESS MAKE LAWS THAT THEY DON'T HAVE TO FOLLOW.

ONLY IN AMERICA ... WHERE YOUR VICE PRESIDENT DECLARES 'JOBS' A THREE-LETTER WORD.

ONLY IN AMERICA ... A MAJOR CRISIS REQUIRES SWIFT ACTION TO PASS A BILL WITHOUT READING IT, THEN VACATION FOR THREE DAYS BEFORE THE PRESIDENT HAS TIME TO SIGN IT!

ONLY IN AMERICA ... DOES THE MILITARY GET INVESTIGATED BY HOMELAND SECURITY AS POSSIBLE TERRORISTS, WHILE OUR BORDERS ARE WIDE OPEN.

ONLY IN AMERICA ... CAN YOU GET A TAX REFUND ON TAXES YOU DIDN'T PAY.

ONLY IN AMERICA ... CAN YOU BLAME OTHERS WHEN YOU DON'T PERFORM.

ONLY IN AMERICA ... YOU HAVE MORE RIGHTS BEING ILLEGAL, THAN YOU DO LEGAL.

ONLY IN AMERICA ... CAN YOU BE 13 AND HAVE AN ABORTION WITHOUT TELLING YOUR PARENTS, BUT MUST HAVE A WRITTEN NOTE FROM YOUR PARENT WHY YOU MISSED SCHOOL.

ONLY IN AMERICA ... ARE YOU PUNISHED FOR GOOD PERFORMANCE AND REVERED FOR NONPERFORMANCE.

ONLY IN AMERICA ... CAN YOU CALL LARGE CORPORATIONS EVIL, WHILE 99.9% OF THE AMERICANS WORK IN COMPANIES WITH LESS THAN 500 EMPLOYEES.

ONLY IN AMERICA ... CAN CHRYSLER GET $10 BILLION IN AID FOR THEIR COMPANY OF 30,000 EMPLOYEES.

I GUESS IT IS DIFFICULT TO RUN A COMPANY FOR $333,333 PER EMPLOYEE.

ONLY IN AMERICA ... WE CARE ABOUT THREE GUYS THAT GET WATER UP THE NOSE, WHILE OUR ENEMIES ARE BEHEADING US AND BLOWING CROWDS OF PEOPLE UP WITH SUICIDE BOMBINGS.

ONLY IN AMERICA ... YOU CAN SAY OTHER INTERROGATION TECHNIQUES WORK, BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THOSE TECHNIQUES ARE.

ONLY IN AMERICA ... WHATEVER GOES WRONG WILL ALWAYS BE BUSH'S FAULT.

ONLY IN AMERICA ... YOU CAN ONLY BE PRESIDENT WHEN THE TELEPROMPTER IS ON!