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Thursday, February 16, 2012

THINGS I LEARNED LIVING IN THE SOUTH

A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.

If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

Onced and Twiced are words.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!

Jawl-P? means, Did you all go to the bathroom?

People actually grow,eat and like okra.

Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do that.

There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.

Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.

The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'

You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.

Ya'll is singular. All ya'll is plural.

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.

You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.

You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco and ketchup.

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, the motor sports, and gossip.

Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss(first name) or Mr.(first name)

You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

You know what a hissy fit is..

Fried catfish is the other white meat.

We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!

You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I miss living in the South, but I never did like okra. Love me some crawdad's though.

I don't miss hissy fits cause there is a gay mayor around these parts that have them every day.

Anonymous said...

These are ALMOST as funny as the court reporter (lawyer) jokes. :-)

Anonymous said...

Wrong! Nobody really likes okra, we just eat it for show.

Anonymous said...

Regardless of the older posts, I LOVE fried Okra; always get it at CrackerBarrel. and three that were left of the list: a) you cut on and cut off the lights; b) you carry (drive) someone to the store, church, whereever; c) if your child is misbehaving--"You best straighten up or I'll snatch you bald"

Anonymous said...

fried okra and chicken gizzards at walmart

lastword said...

You ever hear of anyone retiring and moving to the north?

Anonymous said...

I miss my TEXAS HOME!!