Things Aren't Always As Simple As The Brady Bunch!

It's sad when a marriage comes to an end. Both sides have their own story of who, why, when, etc. Then you try to go on with life. You meet that special someone who takes some of the pain away that you've carried around from your divorce. It's not so easy this time to go into a relationship because there are children on both sides. The children aren't little, they've heard the stories on all sides and try to remain neutral until that day when they are told about that new person in the parent's life. One child is an adult with children of her own. She's able to stay neutral. The others still live at home with their Mother. It's harder for them to remain neutral. Eventually the children meet, it's not love at first sight. I believe the word "tolerate" would fit when it comes to how they treat each other.

The day comes when the parents marry and try to join their families together. Brady Bunch it's not! It's the normal weekends, birthdays and holiday visits. One day you come home from school, you've had a so-called normal day so far. The folks have something to tell you, you notice Mom looks like it's the end of the world. There's going to be an addition to the family! Suddenly the family has something they share equally. The day comes when everyone sits, waits and watches Mom in labor. When it's time to go to the hospital the girls go along, excited for the baby to finally be here.

This baby is the glue that brings the family together. There are days when the teens fight over who gets to hold the baby on the way to the sitter or on the way home, etc. This baby is loved by all. Every new thing he learns to do is an exciting event. The parents have shared this kind of joy before but for the teens it's the first time. Each teen shared his/her own special bond with him. Not only that, they've formed a bond among themselves. The confusing thing for the little one is how he can get away with something with one sibling but maybe not with the others.

The time comes when the parents decide relocate. The older kids are all out of school by now so it's a good time to do this. the problem is distance. Over the next several years most of the kids have followed with their own families. The sad part is how everyone has pretty much gone their own way in life. They see each other at the parents on holidays, etc but it's not what they once had. Now that they are adults when they argue with each other or even the folks they run back to the other parent and tell their side. The parent now talks openly of his/her feelings about the other parents which takes away the neutral part that had been there for many years. Your parent's friends know the "other" person's name with is associated with much anger, sometimes hatred.

This week our shared "Dad" had surgery. Several of the kids were able to be at his bedside. With much joy we were happy to hear how well the surgery went and thought it was safe to breath again. Then it happened. My brother passed away. Ever since our parents married his children have been my siblings, his grandchildren have been mine. I was proud to be asked by one of the nieces to be her daughter's Godmother. The death of my brother hurt because I never got to say goodbye. I honestly didn't think there was anything that could be more painful. Wrong! His obituary showed up in the paper. My brother and I weren't mentioned at all. I figured if we had been it would of been as his "steps", I guess we're not even that. That didn't surprise me but having the brother that all of us share not being mentioned went right to my heart. He belongs to all of us. When he was told it broke his heart. He asked what he ever did. The answer is simple, he was born to that "other" person. It's sad how someones hatred runs so deep that they left out one name.

I've told him to that no one can take his memories away. Don't stop loving his brother because of someone else's hatred. I wonder just how often combined families go in different directions once the children become adults and go off on their own.

Leftout sister.