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Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Con vs Lib

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.

A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

WOW so very true

Anonymous said...

Did this ever hit the nail on the head! TRUE TRUE TRUE!!!

Anonymous said...

I guess then I'm a middle of the roader. I agree with most but not all. Oh well.

Anonymous said...

Of course the liberal would be offended because you lumped him in a stereotypical group. Conservatives are also very good at being rude and offensive - a liberal is not!

Anonymous said...

Conservative homosexuals lead quiet lives until they are caught cheating on their wives.

Anonymous said...

Liberal homosexuals get elected to Congress even though their lover is running a prostitution service in the basement. Right Bawney?

Anonymous said...

Generalize much? What a load of crap. But you're certainly entitled to your opinion and your right to post it.

Anonymous said...

If a woman gets raped, a conservative will poke his nose into her business and try to force her to carry the baby to term.

A liberal will leave the woman alone and let her make the decision which is best for her.

Oh, wait ... that's not the game we're playing here, is it?

Anonymous said...

9:11 Liberals are too worried about everyone else being offended and edit every part of their speech.

9:34 HAHAHHA!

Anonymous said...

Pretty funny
You forgot the one where When conservatives don't like pro choice, they blow up clinics

Anonymous said...

One thing left out of the comparisons.
If a liberal doesn't like guns he seeks to ban them for everyone, but still keeps one for himself.

Amy said...

09:34, you are AWESOME. well said!