Signs Of The Times

At a gynecologist's office:
Dr. Jones, at your cervix.

In a podiatrist's office:
Time Wounds All Heels

On a septic tank truck:
Yesterday's Meals-on-Wheels

At a proctologist's door:
To expedite your visit, please back in.

On a plumber's truck:
We Repair What Your Husband Fixed

On another plumber's truck:
Don't sleep with a drip; Call your plumber!

On a church's billboard:
7 Days Without God Makes One Weak

At a tire shop:
Invite us to your next blowout.

At a towing company:
We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.

On an electrician's truck:
Let Us Remove Your Shorts

In a non-smoking area:
If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire
and take appropriate action.

On a maternity room door:
Push. Push. Push!

At an optometrist's office:
If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

On a taxidermist's window:
We Really Know Our Stuff!

On a fence:
Salesmen Welcome! Dog Food Is Expensive!

At a car dealership:
The best way to get back on your feet: miss a car payment

Outside a muffler shop:
No appointment necessary; We hear you coming.

In a veterinarian's waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

At the electric company:
We will be de-lighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be.

In a restaurant window:
Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.

In the front yard of a funeral home:
Drive carefully! We'll wait...

At a propane filling station:
Thank heaven for little grills.

At a radiator shop:
Best place in town to take a leak.

On the back of another septic tank truck:
CAUTION - This Truck is Full of Political Promises!