It's bound to happen to all of us at some point in our lives if we have young children,and it's especially hard on mothers-it isn't the terrible twos or potty training-it's the offical first day of school-ever. My 4 year old daughter started Pre-K earlier this week and my life hasn't been the same since !
We were fortunate in that I had been able to stay home with my only child pretty much since she was an infant and even with the PT job I picked up last spring,I spent most of my days home with her so I was not prepared for how quiet it would be once I left her at school that first morning.
I debated going back to bed once I was home,but what if the school needed to call me and I was asleep and did not hear the phone?I found myself watching Spongebob Squarepants during the day when I was alone and towards the end of the week actually feared I was developing a compulsive disorder because I was vacuuming the Berber carpets bald and talking WAY too much to our two housecats.!My neighbor,who has seen two children off to school,tells me that is perfectly normal.Just two days into the new school year,she was so bored without her daughter home she washed all the windows in her house,and laundered all the curtains and blinds too ! Need to invite her over for coffee one morning-perhaps if I serve espresso I can get her to shampoo my rugs for me !
And did I mention the worry?All day I wonder-what is she doing right now in school?Does she miss me ?Why is the bus so damn late ? The first day of school,when the bus had still not arrived at lunchtime to drop off my little girl,I grabbed the keys and was getting ready to ride out and look for the bus ! I got a half-mile down the road and there it was,coming right towards me. Extreme, I know,but not too bad-I've actually heard of mothers who followed the bus to and from school !
Also, visiting your childs classroom and meeting the other parents is a sobering experience when you are an older parent! Many of the mothers present with their 4 yr. olds were young enough to be MY offspring!The only older parent was early 50's. I have nightgowns in the closet older than these young moms!
So,even though it is hard to let go,school is a rite of passage that is inevitable and I have found that you deal with it the best you can. My little girl is still at an age where kids are not totally mortified by their parents being with them in public so with my PT schedule I could volunteer occasionally in her classroom.I will have her home for a 5 day weeknd due to Labor Day,so by the time Tuesday rolls around I will probably be ready for a few hours of solitude!
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4 comments:
OMG Totmom!!!!! I am right there with you. My daughter's first day of school, the bus driver told me she would be dropped off at 4:20, 5:15 rolls around, and I am a total disaster. Then she did not have school Tuesday or Wednesday, and I thought I was going to go crazy. I wanted 'my time' back! She is so unruly at home, I was nervous all day about what she was getting into, or not listening, or whatever..... Just like you, after 4 years of being with her 24 hours a day, it was so hard. I didn't cry, but something was missing all day! My dog hides from me now, because I constantly want to play with her or pet her....(she naps between noon and 4) It is so very nice having those few hours to myself though! I am actually getting chores done without "MOMMY" interruptions! Monday I caught myself sneaking past her bedroom door, because I forgot for a second she was in school and not napping!!! It did frazzle the nerve ends with her under toe all day, but I miss her, and can't wait for her to get home so I can hear her little stories in that oh so cute whiney voice! Thanks for this story Totmom! I thought I was the only one with your exact thoughts.
Countrygirl
GREAT POST, Totmom!
When I finally sent my ADHD daughter on the schoolbus the first day of kindergarten, I did a dance, spent about an hour enjoying the solitude, and the other couple of hours waiting for the bus to bring her back!
She's now 21 and I recently asked her if she remembered that day. She told me that she recalls feeling bad about leaving ME alone while she was going to have so much fun in her new adventure!
My little girl also had concerns about "mama being home alone" and told me if I got lonesome I could come visit her in school!
It's amazing how we, as moms, become so defined by our relationships with our children. I have found that as mine gets older (now 13), I can hardly function when she isn't around. She went to camp last summer for a week, I got up in the morning and went to work as usual, only to come home and wander around - clueless about what to do with myself. My husband and I laugh about this, don't remember ever a time without her. Will be interesting in a few years!!
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