Attention

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not represent our advertisers

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Dear Abby

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Salisbury, Maryland, who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Pocomoke. One of my sisters lives in Pittsville and is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Princess Anne.

I have two brothers: one is currently serving a life sentence at ECI for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Hebron. She is a part time 'working girl'.

All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Obama for President?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation
Doug

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Too funny!

K Groves

Anonymous said...

Not to worry Doug, you diffently have a reputation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

This is one of the oldest Dear Abby spoofs on the planet. It's been revised in every possible way.

Now it's being used for politics.

Anonymous said...

Hysterical!! I love it! Does sound like this area though.

Anonymous said...

This sure gave me plenty of laughs today. Thanks!!

Anonymous said...

It would have been even funnier, if Doug had been hiding the fact that he voted for Louweasal, Barrie and Bubba.

farm boy