Attention

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not represent our advertisers

Monday, October 29, 2007

My New Car!

I bought a new CADILLAC DTS and returned to the dealer the next day because I couldn't get the radio to work. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

"Nelson," the salesman said to the radio.

The Radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"

"Willie!" he continued and 'On the Road Again' came from the speakers. Then he said, "Ray Charles!" and in an instant 'Georgia on My Mind' replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, "Beethoven," I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, "Beatles," I'd get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, "Assholes !" Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand , backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks , with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.

Damn, I LOVE this car!

5 comments:

LadyLibertarian said...

Okay, I PROMISE I will only do this once, then I will go back to being a lady.

I bet if that radio was in a car sold here, if you said "Assholes" you'd get the whole SFD and co. singing the Maryland State song, with special emphisis on the parts that deal with our discriminatory past.

Anonymous said...

That's an old joke Joe, but a goodone.
A. Goetz

Anonymous said...

FUNNY! FUNNY, you had me...

dan said...

I bet if you said "Weapons of Mass Destruction" the radio would not play for six years....

Anonymous said...

I swallowed that one hook line and sinker!!!

Good One Joe!