You Know You Are A Neocon If...

Over the past several decades, a tumorous growth has emerged from and taken over the Republican Party. This cancer is called a neoconservative, or colloquially just simply neocon. These folks are extremely insecure and hotheaded. It is best to avoid them in the wild whenever possible. Some signs that you may be in the presence of one are below:
You Know You Are a Neocon If…

You like starting wars you can’t finish.

If you do start a war you can’t finish, so what, it’s not like your kids are dying.

You think you are better than pretty much everyone else, especially poor people, who are the problem by the way.

You’ve never fought in a war, but you talk tough on Fox News.

While you parade around mainstream media as a “political strategist,” you’re actually on the payroll of Booz Allen Hamilton or some other defense/intelligence contractor.

Your name is Chris Christie.

When reading about the Revolutionary War, you find yourself sympathetic to the British cause.

The punishing amount of wedgies you received as an adolescent has made you permanently insecure and trying to act macho.

Your machismo really comes out when you have an opportunity to pick on people or nations you deem weaker than you.

You think it is “conservative” to ignore the Constitution.

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