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Sunday, May 26, 2013

FRANCESCA KNIGHT OF OCEAN CITY SPEAKS OUT


I Was Cyberbullied By Adults


I wanted to share a valuable lesson I learned recently. First, let me explain who I am. I am the daughter of a city council woman in my hometown, of Ocean City, MD. I’ve had my fare share of fake smiles, loose-gripped handshakes, and condescending tones. Small towns can, at times, be brutal. Well, this isn’t an article about how wonderful my Mom is, nor is this article about someone being mean to her, or how cut throat politics can be. This is an article about bullying.

Salisbury, MD. (close to Ocean City) has a new blog called sbynews.blogspot.com, which recently posted a copy of a peace order against Ocean City’s city manager and the alleged reasons for which the order was procured. Regardless of political affiliation, how you feel about Ocean City, or how you feel about peace orders, the purpose of this blog is to incite comments from citizens in an open forum. These comments are written by citizens with the option of using their real names, fake names, or “anonymous”, and must be pre-approved by the blog site owner. Comments are intended to be well thought out, insightful, and civil, and people from all sides are welcome to comment.

As a Towson University family science student, I pride myself on the skill set my degree has to offer; good communication skills, a commitment to families, a dedication to helping others, adequate research ability, and the push to make the world a better place. My educational path has taught me a lot of lessons, but I’m constantly amazed at the life lessons I come across that no classroom can teach.

Enter the lesson plan: In reading the comments on this particular blog post about my towns city manager, I realized the undertone was that of disgust. No one was questioning the facts, but rather attacking this man as a husband and father, and assuming his personal familial life has anything to do with his work. The comments were hurtful, immature, and judgmental. I kept reading. The comments then turned against the current council majority, blaming them for things that were out of their control, and demonstrated a clear lack of understanding and research. I read on further. The rest of the comments started attacking the former city manager, and even went so far as to bring up his divorce, claiming “it must come along with the job”, a comment so inappropriate- I realized I had to step in to say something positive. These comments were not only irrelevant, and judgmental, but also mean spirited. What was worse- was that not a single person had said that it is a personal matter and should not be widely publicized. So, thinking it would be alright in public forum to disagree with someone else’s comments, I wrote in.

I gave my name in my comments, yes, I was not afraid to do so, but in doing so- I opened up the floodgates for people with differing opinions to personally attack me, a 24 year old college female, who loves her family and her hometown. Rather than have a civilized discussion backed up by factual information and research, I was accused of being “drunk”, “out of control”, “stupid- like my mother”, that I think “I have all the answers to the world”. I was accused of using my father’s name to establish credibility, badgered about my political party affiliation, which candidate I voted for in the past election, and was told I was “up passed my bed time” with “my mother looming over my shoulder”. None of these retorts were relevant to the subject of the original post, nor were they relevant to my comment in defense of my mayor and council, and former and present city manager. Maybe I’m idealistic; maybe college has made me that way, but at 24, I was under the impression in a blog forum; you are allowed to have differing opinions. Apparently, I was wrong.

At first, I let the personal attacks get to me. I started thinking they were right: I am stupid, I am meddling, I don’t know what I’m talking about. There were at the time 15 posts about me, not the original subject of the blog post. And then I realized it: letting my emotions take a hold of me was exactly what they wanted, and what’s even more saddening is that this is the same practice school bullies use on young vulnerable girls, girls who end up hurting themselves for far less. With teen suicide and bullying, a common topic in Family Science, we seem to only focus on “kids” as the problem. They haven’t been brought up right, they don’t know any better, they’re over-medicated, the environment is hostile for a child to grow up in, but maybe we should start discussing the bullying of adult to adult. I realized that all the names I was called could only be true if I let them be, if I believed them too, and as long as I didn’t- then those people couldn’t hurt me.

So yes, at 24, I may stay up too late, maybe even passed my bedtime, I may go out with my friends, sometimes I even think I’m invincible, and I’m sure at times my parents may agree- that I do think I have all the answers, but there is one thing that ruthless badgering of another human being, bullying, finger pointing and name-calling cannot take away from me; and that’s my unconditional love for my family, my craving to want to help others, and my respect for my hometown of Ocean City, MD.


Publishers Notes: I want you to read the following comments and decide, has Francesca been bullied?



A 24 year old citizen of OC said...
Has anyone on this blog commenting actually met Dennis Dare or David Recor? let alone even from Ocean City, Maryland?

David Recor's hiring process was complex, yes, there were issues that were brought up that made people question whether or not he was an adequate candidate for the job, but his experience in ft. Pierce proved to be exceptional. He is a very kind man, loves his wife and four daughters, and having met him and spoken to him on numerous occasions, and having a family member working close with him, I can honestly attest to his character. I do not believe he would hurt his wife or children. And more so, this matter is a domestic issue, not one that directly interferes with his capabilities to perform the task of city manager at hand. It is no ones place here to suggest otherwise- this matter will be, as it should be, attended to internally within his family.

As for Dennis Dare- how dare any of you suggest he was anything less than exceptional for his position as former city manager. Have any of you ever spoken with that man and had a bad experience? Has he ever been anything less than respectful, calm, polite, and prompt in his responses to anyone? No. Maybe taxes didn't fare as well as you had hoped, but the economy is cyclical, and not under full control of the city manager. How dare any of you bring up his own personal family matters as you are Davids. People get divorced, it happens. It is nobody's business but their own, and to shame them for it- or to take sides in another families personal occurrence is simply demonstrating judgmental behavior, and a lack of understanding of privacy.

Neither of these men are "fake", nor is city council. the current council majority has done a great job at accommodating it's citizens hopes for the town. If you have your doubts, please feel free to sit in on, or bring up your concerns at the next city council meeting. 
Francesca Knight said...
"Anonymous"- maybe you could bear a little skin and give us your real name? For now, I'll refer to you as "coward".

On a happier note- glad I could be of service! Sorry to keep you waiting.

Let me help you out with your little bet here- This is in fact, Francesca M. Knight, 24, of Ocean City MD, daughter of "toothless Knight". But don't let that deter you! Feel free to comment back- I welcome it!

And as for your claim of me "loosing all credibility", is it so wrong of me or any other person to try to find the good in Mr. Recor, Mr. Dare, and the current council majority? I have had nothing but good experiences personally, and heard nothing but good experiences from others in dealing with them.

And as for your sweet nickname- "toothless Knight", on account of my Father being a Dentist, don't you think it's a little invalidated? Maybe something with more of a play on words using Knight would be more suitable. 
I rarely go back into comments but in this case I did. Mind you, there are some unjustifiable comments but really, Francesca drew herself right into this Post and then came back for more. 
After speaking to some people about it I learned she then went to another Blog and sent the above letter. I was told she went on to say how she no longer likes Salisbury News because of the comments. Her Mother then allegedly came into comments and said how much she loves her Daughter and the two started having a love fest in comments.
Don't play victim Francesca. Your an adult who got involved in something perhaps you shouldn't have. At first, (when I read your original letter sent to me by someone on Facebook) I actually felt sorry for you. Then I read the comments.  
Women say they want equal rights but as this Posts clearly shows its a double edge sword. Now Francesca is playing the victim because she's a woman. Francesca said: "Preface: I am NOT trying to receive a backlash on the people who attacked me, I am trying to explain a lesson I learned, and express a distaste for bullying, especially to females". I'll add, Francesca stated elsewhere that there were 15 comments attacking her. That's just not true. There are 15 comments that DISAGREED with her. I'm sure in time, (in life) when she gets older she'll better understand. 
Francesca also attacks others using "anonymous" when in fact she started out as "A 24 year old citizen of OC" which is anonymous. She goes on to say, "For now, I'll refer to you as "coward". What really gets me is when she INVITES others to comment by saying the following, "Feel free to comment back- I welcome it"
Please tell me how this is a victim of cyberbullying? Unfortunately in Public Forums/Blogs/Grapevine anonymous comments can at times be harsh. Many, (if not most) fear retaliation from Public Officials, (like her Mother) therefore they comment anonymously. To blame Salisbury News without mentioning ALL of the other Forums out there as being bad simply because people disagree with your opinion is just wrong.

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

I see many women do the same thing and it makes me sick. They want equal rights for everything but when they are actually treated equal they want to be treated like a woman. We can't have it both ways ladies!

Anonymous said...

She asked for it!

Anonymous said...

Red X in the corner Francesca and you are in control. You only have yourself to blame.

Anonymous said...

OMG Joe you have opened up a can you will regret. The greatest dentist in the world will be coming after you like no tomorrow! Frankie, as she would rather be called, set herself up, and couldn't handle it. Then she went running to the fat man, and received all of two comments, until her mom chimed in. Mary Knight is the Mayors puppet and everyone knows it.

Anonymous said...

How does one say, "stuck on stupid"!

Anonymous said...

"Passed bedtime", wow, maybe she should go back to college. Francesca tried to pull the same stunts as her mother, and got busted. "Neither of these men are fake, nor is city council", either your as dense as your mom, or you have a lot of growing up to do. They personify fake!

John Robinson said...

Joe you are an asshole that deserve to die a slow painful death.

Anonymous said...

Frankie even though you are a pretty girl you can't have it both ways. You can not start and attack then accuse others of attacking you also can't give your opinion and say you welcome comments then get upset when others give an opinion that differs from yours. I think what you meant to say was. I welcome comments that agree with what I have to say. That is a liberal way of thinking and that doesn't fly well.

Anonymous said...

Francesca is taking her cues from Leah Dunham and Sandra Fluke. Play the victim when it is convenient.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, Francesca isn't going to be able to change the world. I am an anonymous commenter; I don't launch personal attacks on this blogsite, I don't think it's productive to do so. I often get responses to my comments that attack me personally. If these attackers can't make a legitimate case, then they can do nothing but attack the commenter personally; this is how they expose their weakness.

Anonymous said...

"This is in fact, Francesca M. Knight, 24, of Ocean City MD, daughter of "toothless Knight". But don't let that deter you! Feel free to comment back- I welcome it!"


Do I understand she wrote this? Now, what's her problem? Francesca, next time just sign your name " 24y/o liberal following my mom". Guess you thought your post would open the floodgates of support for Recor or you. In fact, over 100 comments later, ONE person agrees with you, which is what a blog is all about. Your lesson should be, something along the lines your judged by the company you keep. Try to get to bed earlier, it must have been way "passed your bedtime". Everyone knows you voted for Obama.

Anonymous said...

Lets add John Robinson to Frankies fan club, who's next? Barrie Tilghman

Anonymous said...

Well lets see, EVERYONE not most of EVERYONE who has a parent or relative in the "SPOTLIGHT" or the political scene, ALWAYS, I will repeat ALWAYS uses that to their advantage and to think some 24 yo WOULD NOT DO THE SAME? you're more stupid than I thought...

Secondly, that's right, you get what you deserve because your fake and so are your parents... You of all people should know that everyone has an opinion and MOST do not hesitate to say their opinion...

You opened the door yourself to let these people in and then you have a problem with that AFTER YOU ASKED FOR IT...

Thirdly, you NAMED DROPPED the hell out of your parents and your school... Why is that? there is only ONE TYPE OF PERSON who NAME DROPS AND says they did it for OTHER REASONS than the truth...

Here is the proof... The fact that A)you let it get to you and under your skin when it IS ONLY of ONE PERSONS OPINION, you felt you needed to make a statement hence the post... Then B)You rant to say you welcome it when YOU CLEARLY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH WHAT PEOPLE SAY, and IT IS OBVIOUS YOU let smack talk get to you and then you call it cyber bullying...

I guess your money towards your education is a waste then... because you clearly do NOT KNOW WHAT THE DIFFERENCE is between opinion and fact and the difference between opinion on and cyberbullying...


YOU HAVE A LOT OF GROWING UP TO DO, college or no college, monther or no mother father or no father in the political scene or not...

This is the problem with society has a whole, there are too many uneducated people making decisions for others, and then you have people like this who say they don't care or it doesn't bother them and then they go to show you the opposite and name calling and the like...

$10 bucks says she will write more, or try to STAY or BE in the PUBLIC EYE and watch out for a BOOK or BLOG about BULLYING and then look out for legislation for said bullying...

Anonymous said...

2:22 PM There is nothing personal by rebutting Francesca's comments. She claims that information about David Recor is personel, when it displays his current and past behavior. Recor is a public official, and is the highest authority over hundreds of employees that he is supposed to manage, trust and be trusted. Her insane comment that the council, and her mom "are not fake", that takes all. Exactly where did she learn her previous lessons about "loose handshakes and fake smiles" ? Mary Knight cornered that market. Francesca asked for every thing, and more, than she received.

Anonymous said...

Let's see if David Recor comes running to her defense. I doubt it, he lost any hint of loyalty long before he went to Ocean City. Can't wait for Mary's "Oh so proud of you", and Francesca's "I know your are" dialogue between mother and daughter.

Anonymous said...

Francesca . . . Francesca - think before you blow off steam. I knew both the former and current administration all the way back to Mayor Kelly. FYI - Ocean City has never been the same since they went to a City Manager form of government. And I lost all respect for Dennis Dare along time ago because he let things get out of control. I remember the good old days that included Miles Algood - (Dennis Dare's former boss) - and Miles would rise from his grave if he saw what Dennis allowed to happen to OC. I could tell you a lot about OC as I worked and built down there for over a decade. My advise to you and other youth - get out of there or you will definitely lose your shirt off your back - and you pocketbook will be found to be empty.

Anonymous said...

Francesca .... Francesca, better yet, go to an ivory college, run around and take copious notes, and follow in the political steps of todays young liberal. Your off to a great start. God help us.

Anonymous said...

Joe, I went back to look for the original post, along with all those on Recor, and they are gone. Tell us someone didn't get to you to. There is enough cover up out there, thought you would sustain.

Contributor said...

3:32
Is this the post you are looking for? http://sbynews.blogspot.com/2013/05/ocean-city-manager-david-recor-in.html

Anonymous said...

"I was cyberbullied by adults". So Is she at age 24 not an adult? Seems to me that she is implying that she deserves extra sympathy cuz mean old adults bullied a 24 year old. Call a WHAAAAMBULANCE.

Anonymous said...

Bullied by adults? You're 24 friggin years old! Stop acting like a little child. That ended for you in 2007. You're not in Kansas any more!

Anonymous said...

I don't know any of these folks except reading about them in the Blogs. What I do know is that a 24 year old college student should know when it's "past" her bedtime, not "Passed". This says a lot about how much she cares to keep attention to detail and to be accurate in how she expresses herself, which I believe all the commenters have pointed out to the young lady.
So, Frankie, read up on "there, they're, and their, to, too, and two while you're there at the college. You wouldn't want to miss those for the world!

Anonymous said...

As I read it, I was reminded of the Adams girl and her mother from SAPOA. There really is no place for name calling in civil debate.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a whiney 24 year old brat that can dish it but can't take it. Grow up.

Anonymous said...

Just another crybaby liberal Democrat. When you make public statements, expect public response.

Anonymous said...

So what time is Francesca's pity party?

Anonymous said...

Yes. There are ways to express opposite opinions without sounding like 3rd grade playground kids.

The girl wrote her opinion and because the people did not agree with her the blog became an attack against her. Why should she be attacked called a "drunk, “out of control, “stupid- like my mother, etc”.

These comments had nothing to do with the subject at hand. Her opinion did not point fingers in a vile manner to others who did not agree with her.

Why did the viewers attack Ms Knight for her opinion?

Anonymous said...

Ms. Knight. Yes, some of the comments made to you were rude and ignorant. Since you are an educated grown adult you should know not to expect civility on an internet blog/news site. You chose to defend a person that based on a police report was abusive to his wife. I am surprised that you are surprised that people were critical of you.

Bullying is a truly horrible thing and by throwing this word around you are diminishing its seriousness.

JoeAlbero said...

anonymous 6:56, why do you call it an attack? Francesca calls one person a "coward" and engaged in such remarks.

Look, I don't like the name calling myself but to be 24 years old and imply you are a child, (not an adult) and you've been bullied by adults is simply a lie.

Francesca is well spoken but in my opinion a bit spoiled. I'll explain. It is every one else's fault and poor poor pitiful me. If anyone is the bully here, Francesca is the bully. You know, punch and run, I didn't do anything wrong.

Her original attempt to protect the Town Manager is honorable, some disagreed. Because Francesca drafted the above letter and placed it on the Internet, I simply wanted to defend our position. I should add, it isn't just Blogs that create such problems. The Grapevine in the Daily Times has been the perfect outlet to go on the attack, (anonymously) against public officials and was MODERATED by the Daily Times as well. Funny, when politicians wanted to use the Grapevine to go after others, everything was OK. Now there are Blogs out there that allow open discussion and some people have a problem with it.

You should also note, 99% of the comments, (more than 100) showed that this Town Manager isn't liked very well at all. Even when Francesca went to another Blog to try to play pity there were only 4 comments other than her and her Mother.

Francesca was not bullied. She simply got a taste of her own medicine.

Anonymous said...

"Fare (sp) share of fake smiles, loose gripped hand shakes and condescending tones". What 24 year old talks like that? At your age you have had that many people treat you poorly? Really?

Anonymous said...

Exactly 8:17. "What's that mirror she's looking into trying to tell her" saying comes to mind. Maybe it's her attitude that make others not so fond of her?

She claims to have stepped into the comments with something "positive." Fact is she was far from "positive" immediately with the overall condescending tones and the "how dare you,", etc. Everything she wrote was nonsensical contrasts. If someone finds bullying a concern then why in the hell would you ever ever attempt to defend a man whose wife has taken out a peace order on him without being a witness to the supposed incident?
She claims Recor was "exceptional" as city manager in FL. If he were so "exceptional" then why didn't Knight vote for his appointment??? That speaks volumes on Knights integrity, honesty, motives and/or intelligence or lack their of.
These people seem a bit crude and rough around the edges.

Andy Berges said...

Whether she was bullied or not bullied, her feelings were obviously hurt.

The world is overpopulated with wretched, wicked, and hateful people that will definitely bully her in the future so she needs to take heed to Mahatma Gandhi's valuable words of wisdom, which were...

"Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”

Anonymous said...

So often nowadays the term "bullying" is really only means "someone's picking on me".
Yes, it's a different (cyber) world, and most people post anonymously - so it's difficult to go confront them and punch them in the nose. That's what we did when someone "picked on us" as kids. Sometimes they punched back. Whichever the case, it was a life-lesson and therefore a character builder.
As much as I dislike using this cliche, I have to say, "...if you can't take it - don't dish it out..."
Welcome to the big leagues, sweetheart.

Anonymous said...

I am a 24 y/o yet bullied by an adult, now that’s funny stuff! Frankie sure has followed in her mother’s steps, the last time she said anything intelligent, well, actually, no-one can remember.

Anonymous said...

Blondie is cute. Not so sure about granny tho.