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Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Is your husband your child or your partner?

I received an email recently from wife and mother who’d heard about my new book, "The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men & Marriage," which helps women who are used to being in charge learn how to be better wives. Here’s what she had to say:

“I must confess you have described not only me but many women I interact with on a daily basis. I think as teachers we easily fall into this trap after hours of controlling a classroom. A memorable quote from my husband early on was, ‘Don’t talk to me like I’m one of your students.’”

It’s an all-too-common scenario that we rarely talk about. Many women, once they have children, go into mother mode and don’t come out. Somewhere along the line, they stop being, well, a wife, and start mothering their husbands instead.

It’s not usually intentional—sometimes it’s learned behavior: they’re mimicking what their own mothers did—but it’s never a good thing. Men hate to be told what to do. In fact, a man’s reaction to being told what to do by his wife is to do the exact opposite.

If that sounds childish, you’re right. It is. But if you stop mothering your husband, he’ll stop responding like a child.

Here are 3 tips to help you move out of mother mode and into wife

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think it is a very sick thing to here men calling their wife, "Mother".

Anonymous said...

It could be a possibility just like sister mommy.

Anonymous said...

Women shouldn't marry men who aren't alphas. Beta males are boring, trite and unimaginative. You can't respect anyone who kisses your ass or lacks a spine. Sorry peeps, throw those guppies back in the ocean.

Anonymous said...

My wife and I have been married almost 48 years. I spent 42 years in the world of finance but my wife handled all of our personal financial dealings. She was a master stretching the paycheck and making sure all obligations were met timely while efficiently managing our home and children while I pursued my career. She is one of the most organized people I know and has the utmost respect from our children, grandchildren, and me. I love our relationship and do not consider her my "mother" but I do enjoy how she loves me as her husband and mate. Maybe we are old school and don't try to compete but I will take our marriage any day.

Anonymous said...

8:42 Bravo.....many people would LOVE to have your type of relationship. Sounds wonderful!!!! Sounds like an adult relationship without competition. Too many young couples seem to be in competition which kills the marriage.