As a public service to our readers, and as a gesture towards civility in our national discourse, we offer the following how-to-guide for surviving Thanksgiving dinner at the home of your triumphant liberal relatives:
Arrival. “Your home looks lovely.
Almost like it’s worth what you paid for it. Obama didn’t help with that yet, did he? Oh, well, maybe next term. May I use your bathroom?”
In the unlikely event that your host’s home has appreciated in value, use this introduction instead: “Love what you’ve done with it. Better dump it before the new year, though, or you might face that new Obamacare tax.” (Wait until after dinner to make a lowball offer.)
Greetings. “Oh, grandma, I’m so sorry about what Obama did to your Medicare. I tried to stop him.”
“Little Johnny, all grown up. Still looking for a job? Oh. There’s always grad school, you know. I hear Obama will pay your student loans.”