As Long As Our Parents Are Alive, We're Still Young

Makes for a great title for a book, doesn't it.

Well, it's true. I have one parent who is alive and one who has unfortunately passed. However, I can remember what seemed like a million years ago when I held a 50th Birthday Party for my Mother and I have to be completely honest. I thought, 50, wow, that's old.

This month I will celebrate my 50th Birthday. Man, I must be really old. Nah, that can't be true because I have yet to desire buying a local newspaper to look at the Obituaries, right? I will say this though. I received a Birthday Card in the mail from the state of Delaware. I thought, that's pretty cool. That is, until I opened the envelope and the card inside was a reminder that I should have a colon screening. So, here we go again, I must be getting old, right?

I'm sure that those of you who have been unfortunate to lose one or both of your parents suddenly changes the way you think about life and just how long we'll be on this earth. I did for me. I've never been one to have this desire to watch everything I eat, exercise to stay fit in the hopes of living longer. While that may be the desire of some, I grew up with a Grandmother, (now in her 90's) who fried everything on the stove, loved her Scotch, cigarettes and the nasty polluted air her entire life in New York City.

The way I see it is, we'll live to whenever the good Lord wants us. We have a purpose for being here and it's our job to recognize just what that purpose is. I have been fortunate enough to have children, travel, operate several businesses and ultimately to this date deliver news and information I had hoped the MSM would have done, but they don't.

Yeah, 50 years old is old, I guess. However, I don't feel 50. I'm not limping, gasping for air, heck, my hair isn't even grey yet. However, I am regularly bitching about our government. I do complain a lot about the price of gas. I am forgetting a lot lately, how convenient, right? I am fatter than I would like to be, I'm working on that. Can you tell I have ADD, oh look, a chicken.

Now where was I. Oh yeah, the Blog thing. Or was it, oh, nevermind, it doesn't matter. One of these days I'll learn to write things down so I can remember where I was when, well, you know. I've been trying lately to recall where I put that pad of paper. I wrote some things down on it so I could remember but I can't remember what that was or where I put it. I know I'm good though because I remember that I lost it. Oh look, another chicken.

Getting back to my point, was there a point? So the state wants to probe me on my 50th Birthday. You have to give it to them, they give you a date you can't forget, your Birthday. I can go to my regular doctor and he'll say, have you been taking those pills like I said Joe. Well, yeah, when I remember where I put them. Why don't you write it down Joe. Because I lose that too. Don't you lose things Doc? They make pills for that too.

So am I getting to that age where I'll be popping a pill to get up in the morning, to fall asleep at night, to remember where I put that stupid pad of paper so I can remember when to take one of those damn pills the doctor keeps giving me crap about. Oh look, a chicken!

And what's all this talk about the "blue pill". Is that a morning pill. You know, when its time to get up? It must be awfully popular because they even have it plastered on a NASCAR. Viagra, what kind of name is that. At my age I can think of a lot of names for that pill and it wouldn't be Viagra. I'll come back another day with those names when I can remember them. I know, I'll write them down on that pad I left in the, CRAP, I thought if I said it I'd remember where I put it.

In the mean time, turning 50 sucks. You have a lot less to look forward to and a lot more to be bitchy about, I think? Hey state of Delaware. I'm planning on eating that damn Birthday Card you sent me the night before I come in for that exam. I'll have a present for you too, Biotch!

Oh, and for any of you wanting to wish me a Happy Birthday, you too now know where you can shove it.

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