Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,
Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'
- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
I had rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read description in catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week, I stated this woman was ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
- Mark Twain
Secret of good sermon is to have good beginning and good ending; and to have two as close together as possible
- George Burns
Santa Claus has right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get good wife, you'll become happy; if you get bad one, you'll become philosopher.
- Socrates
I was married by judge. I should have asked for jury.
- Groucho Marx
My wife has slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante
I have never hated man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine
My luck is so bad that if I bought cemetery, people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield
Money can't buy you happiness ... But it does bring you more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan
Until I was 13, I thought my name was SHUT UP.
- Joe Namath
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
I never drink water because of disgusting things that fish do in it.
- W. C. Fields
We could certainly slow aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
- Will Rogers =2 0
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
- Phyllis Diller
By time man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal
And cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good spit it out.
DelMarVa's Premier Source for News, Opinion, Analysis, and Human Interest Contact Publisher Joe Albero at alberobutzo@wmconnect.com or 410-430-5349
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Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Priceless Observations
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