In 1973 the Albero Family moved to Bowie, Maryland. Mom and Dad has just been divorced and we chose to leave California and come back east to be with Family.
For those of you who know Bowie, we moved into a rental home on Whitehall Drive, (the Whitehall section of Bowie). Bowie was a really cool place. Not perfect but it was a newer community with lots of kids everywhere you turned.
It didn't take but a few minutes after the moving van arrived, people started coming out of their homes to meet their new neighbors. It's funny how life works. Those very same people that came to meet us that very first day are still a HUGE part of my life today.
Bowie was the kind of Town where no one was rich, they were all on their way to becoming something though. In the Albero home, we wondered just how we could be so fortunate to be able to rent such a nice home and survive. Survival meant we had to help support Mom, so at a very young age, (especially my older Brothers) we had to go to school full time and then work full time. Bowie had one of the first early release programs in school where they allowed you to go off to work in high school after 4th period, (if your grades and credits were in order).
Not to be long winded but it wouldn't be fair to my eldest Brother if I didn't share the following. My eldest Brother not only got straight A's his entire life in school, he was accepted into the Coast Guard Academy in 1976. Mind you, the entire time we moved and lived in Bowie, my Brother busted his tail to keep his grades up as well as delivering Mom a weekly paycheck. None of us ever asked Mom for a penny of the money we earned, it was just a way of life. It was our way of staying off welfare and any government assistance.
During that time I quickly met several new friends, especially on that very first move in day. To this day, with the exception of only ONE of those old Best Friends, we have stayed in constant contact, supported each other in good and bad times and I guess you might say we've adjusted in many ways throughout the years.
Since everyone in Bowie pretty much knew the Albero Family, you know, the kids that many times showed up at school in the same clothes we wore the day before, broke, but always well behaved kids, there was a kind of respect everyone had towards my Mother. They knew we all worked after school and over time people stopped picking on us because we were so different.
One Family who lived only 5 houses away was another divorced Mother with two Daughters who were the same age I was. Mom was Sandy Allen and the Daughters were Lynn and Teresa/Terry. Well, Terry and Lynn became some of my very best friends. My God, we had such great times growing up but more importantly, (to me anyway) their Mom Sandy was always so cool to me. Sandy knew how broke we were so she'd call in the afternoon and ask if I was home. Can you come over and cut the grass Joe, she'd ask. Can you come by and plant a shrub for me, paint a door. You name it, she always had something for me to do and I kind of became the handyman of their home. Sandy got the Washington Post, (something we couldn't afford) and she'd ask me to read the Sports Section. It was her way to get me to read on a regular basis, something I always hated in school.
As we grew up from 1973 to 1979, we experienced our first separation as Terry headed off to William & Mary College. Terry had grades like my older Brother and we just knew she'd become a Doctor, Lawyer, whatever she wanted she could have it. I traveled to Williamsburg fairly often to visit Terry and a few other friends fortunate enough to also attend that College.
Unfortunately, after a few trips there, Terry started experimenting with drugs. First came pot, then coke and who knows what else. After college Terry married another great friend of mine when we were kids and together they had a baby boy who is now an adult. Kenny & Terry divorced after a few years as her drug habit got worse. Over the next several years Terry got married a couple more times, divorced, all the while having children along the way.
About 10 years ago I got another call telling me Terry was now in Jail. In and out of rehab numerous times, Sandy, (Terry's Mother) gave her unconditional love to Terry, took her in, got her clean and after a year or so she'd be back into drugs. Never in my wildest dreams did anyone ever think such a wonderful young lady with such wonderful parents would ever fall into such a life. Terry had lost all of her children and was left with mainly mailing them a letter.
What I'd like to share here is that I too had been exposed with "opportunity." Terry's friends always offered me free drugs and I always refused. No one seemed to think that pot would lead to anything else, except me. I watched most of my young friends start off with pot and ultimately ended up living off their parents and never really making anything of their lives.
If only they could have seen how GOOD we actually had it. If only they could have seen Joe Albero with absolutely nothing, work hard all your life and make something of it. So why have I dragged all of you through this entire story so far.
Today, this morning, I received a call letting me know my very dear and one of my oldest friends, my Sister, died. The drugs took their toll on her life and she is now drug free and gone at 49 years old. What a way to get off such an addiction, eh? First Mom, then little Sarah, then Dawn Mitchell and now Terry Allen. It's been quite a roller coaster ride, especially these past few months.
I spoke to Sandy this morning and they haven't even come close to any kind of arrangements. We are only on this earth but of a blink of an eye, as Mom said just before she passed. Make something of it people. Drugs will kill you. Drugs will take over and control your lives. Drugs will hurt everyone around you, especially those who love you the most.
Terry leaves behind many people who loved her but most of all she leaves behind innocent children, her own children, who never really got to know their Mom and what she was capable of. We only have so much time on this earth to teach what we know is right. If you even suspect your child is experimenting with drugs, know that YOU will probably do EVERYTHING in your powers to save their life. Know that you will drain every single penny you have worked for and earned just to try and help that child get clean again. More importantly, know the odds of your child surviving is as slow, hard and long as someone fighting cancer for a good 20+ years and ultimately dying.
R.I.P. my old friend.
DelMarVa's Premier Source for News, Opinion, Analysis, and Human Interest Contact Publisher Joe Albero at alberobutzo@wmconnect.com or 410-430-5349
13 comments:
This was very touching, and extremely personal. Thank you for sharing
I'm so sorry. My mother was a raging alcoholic and drug addict for most of my life and died at 47. I hope you and Terry's family know that she finally is in a place of peace and happiness. No more struggling with drugs and hurting her family. She is in a much better place for her and if there was a way, I'm sure she would say she's sorry but please be happy because she finally has peace.
I know all too well what you mean and how you feel. I have family members who have gone down that road, starting out with just pot...but that pot let to coke and herion and stealing from friends and family and leaving behind children and the drugs just take over thier lives...I have 2 siblings in jail for that...one is only 29 and has been in prison for 2 years already and has atleast 7 more to go before a chance of parole and another thats been in there for almost a year now. they both have young children and i know they are sorry for what they have done and for all the pain they have cause us...not from stealing from us but from us caring so much and they just continue to hurt us. I forgive them both and cant wait for them to be free again in hopes they have finally learned a lesson and we can be like we used to be, before the drugs. And to think they want to make pot legal...then they go for the next illegal thing cause its cool....our world litterally sucks. If i had known then what i know now, i would have possibly not had children so they wouldnt have to grow up in this hell. We are thinking of you Joe, and she is at peace now. No more hurting.
Thank you, Joe. This is heartbreaking. I don't know why some can fight their addictions and others never seem to be able to. I've been there, had a battle with alcohol that I finally won - but my life was chaos until I saw the light.
I appreciate the reminder - we are here on earth but for an instant. We're not here to phone it in, but to live if fully and do something with our precious time. Getting numb to try and cope with things is no way to live.
Rest in peace, Terry. You are now free.
Joe just took us all into our own Mirror of Life, its a nice place to be. Sorry Joe.
Im a Police Officer and this is the first time ive left a comment. Sorry for your loss.
AS THE FIFTH CIRCUIT COMMENTED WHEN IT UPHELD A DRUG DEALER'S SENTENCE OF LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE:
"Except in rare cases, the murder's red hand falls on only one victim only, how ever the grim blow; but the foul hand of the drug dealer blights life after life and, like the vampire of fable creates others in its own image-- others who create others still, across our land and down our generations, sparing not even the unborn."
Terrebonne v. Butler
7:03 Thats some deep stuff right there, welcome.
I have to leave this room, Im sorry Joe.
JOe-I was exposed to all sorts of opportunity to drugs as well. I grew up with it all around me and with me being the youngest girl in a huge extended family, the pressure was on. I was adamently against it from the start. All the partiers called me an old lady because I would worn them about the dangers. I have a cousin that died last year of complications from drugs. She had so many health problems but she could not do without the drugs. When you have diabetes, pot is the worst thing for it because it slams your sugar levels. She had constant heart attacks and very bad diabetes but her pot came before the insulin or anything else that she medically needed. I have a cousin that has been missing for two years now. He was/is a crackhead. His last incident was that he wondered into a corn field in July and passed out and helicopter's found him totally dehydrated. He stole from everyone in the family and was eventually living on a park bench in Milford. Noone knows where he is now. He started out as a teen smoking pot, listening to the eagles as most of my family members did. I have a cousin that is a crackwhore. She started dabbling in coke in her twenties and now its anything she can get her hands on, including anyone's husband. With all of my experience growing up around it, I managed to marry a person that did it. Love is blind. I had people say to me, I cannot believe you are marrying this person because of such and such, but I defended him with my love blinders. A few years into the relationship, I could see the eyes and the mood swings and then I found some pot. I flushed it down the toilet and a huge fight ensued. Although he swore he was not doing it, he would leave with his friends and come back toasted and it was not alcohol. Then the verbal abuse and occasionally the physical abuse started and the mood swings got worse. He started having sinus problems and his teeth started getting dark stains on them in the front. I then found more drugs, he had taken it to the next level of coke and then strange pipe which I had confirmed where crackpipes. I had him removed from the house, put into six months of counseling hoping that it would help. It didn't. I chose to remove myself from this relationship that was a constant lie. A drug addict is the greatest liar in the world. They will do anything to protect their habit and they will continue to do it until they hit rock bottom. You think you are helping them with rehab and their bills but you are just helping to kill them. You have to cut them off cold turkey. Remove them from your life or else your life and your spirit will slowly be suffocated. A person that is a drug addict is hurting deeply inside and looking for something to make him feel better and they cannot stand the fact that you can be spiritually happy because you have not altered your serontonin levels in a false manner. I believe that it is the ultimate evil and that the only true thing that can help a person find their spirit is by getting down on their knees and turning their pain over to GOD. The few survivers that I do know have survived because of a greater force and any person or rehab can be capable of. People had better stay on top of what their kids are doing, and not have the philosophy do as I say, not as I do. So many parents currently do drugs, but they don't want their kids to know. How hypocritical is that? The stepping stone to the next level is very easily taken now adays. All it takes is a weak personality and a kid who wants to fit in and its a done deal. A family disaster. I am adamently against making pot legal, unless it is prescribed. You study what it does to all of your hormone levels. Before you know it, you have a whole society that needs antidepressants to stablize their moods. It is not what people do while on them, its what they do when they are out of them.
Did Terry graduate in 1979? I too grew up in Bowie and learned first hand how people come together to take care of those that are lost. It is a shame when good people are taken over by bad things. Remember we all need each other and we all need to look out for all the young people around us.
anonymous 9:38, yes, Terry graduated in 1979.
I have a 45 yr. old sister that is a crack, heroin & alcoholic. She will die an addict and there is not a damn thing I can do about it. I have a brother that has been "clean" for two years but struggles daily. I have another sister that drinks another that is addicted to prescription meds. The only thing I ever did was smoke and I quit that years ago. I just don't get it. I struggle with understanding addiction and why people want to alter their state of being. If you don't like the way you feel change something drugs/alcohol may make you feel good for awhile but it won't last. Find your joy! I really worry about what this world is coming to. Rampant drug addiction, Obama, and the percentage of people attending church or even believing in God is way down.
Thanks for sharing. I lost my son to drug abuse. He OD'ed at least 3 different times before it actually took his life. He left behind a wonderful child that I am raising. I am trying to do my best to make sure that he grows up with the ability to discern the dangers that lured his father. My son went to rehab, jail, stayed clean, started all over again..he just wasn't strong enough to stick with the program. Bless all of those who can overcome their addictions and let us all continue to pray for those who can't. I know that my son wanted to quit, but just didn't have the power to do so.
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