Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!
Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!
DANGEROUS:
SAFER:
SAFEST:
ULTRA SAFE:
What's for dinner?
Can I help you with dinner?
Where would you like to go for dinner?
Here, have some wine.
Are you wearing that?
Wow, you sure look good in brown!
WOW! Look at you!
Here, have some wine
What are you so worked up about?
Could we be overreacting?
Here's my paycheck.
Here, have some wine.
Should you be eating that?
You know, there are a lot of apples left.
Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
Here, have some wine.
What did you DO all day?
I hope you didn't over-do it today.
I've always loved you in that robe!
Here, have some wine
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
and my favorite one.
13. Potential Murder Suspect
And remember: Money talks but Chocolate SINGS !!!
DelMarVa's Premier Source for News, Opinion, Analysis, and Human Interest Contact Publisher Joe Albero at alberobutzo@wmconnect.com or 410-430-5349
7 comments:
Can I ever relate to this. Its something that men REALLY will never understand and should. My Man Friend still to this day has no clue what may be going on with me with things like this are happening to me.
I think alot is how they were brought up and like most men, are clueless! They most of the time only think about themselves and either walk away or turn a deaf ear! Then tell their girlfriend/wife they must make a change of their ways or they (the man) are out of here and find some lame excuse to meet someone new!
Its easier to stay single!
You left one out:
Putting up with Men's S**t!
quit your belly-aching, marriage is supposed to be hard, anything worth while always is. you gotta remember we men tolerate the fact that women are emotionally motivated beings, their thought usually go straight from the heart to the mouth and the brain never gets a chance to enter into it, try dealing with that 24/7.
PMS means Punish My Spouse.
Seriously - at my house (where there are 3 women) you can set your watch by the 28 day cycle. It's important to be aware of the things that go on within your surroundings. In a household with more than one female, the twenty eight day cycle of all of them will eventually syncronize with that of the "Alpha Female". The "Syndrome" for each female may not be as severe each month so, in my case, it's better to be aware of any mood changes in any of them as an indicator that the others may soon be in a "delicate emotional state". That way, I can give them space as necessary.
During these times it's more important than ever to pick up after yourself and never, ever, ever use the three letters P, M, S, right after one another.
These are suvival skills.
It also helps to understand that women (in most cases) don't choose to be angry during this part of the "cycle".
How do you make a hormone? Just dont pay her!
and dont forget PMS stand for
Punish My Spouse!
Women suufer thru PMS, childbirth, and menopause. It's only fair that they should have to suffer putting up with WOMEN when the women are suffering from the other stuff. Oh, not to mention women falling into the toilet in the middle of the night when we are trying to be considerate and not turn on the light, but SOMEONE has been inconsiderate and left the toilet seat up!
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