When Ernest, my appliance repairman, came to the front door, I welcomed him in. As this was his second visit and we’d established a friendly rapport, I asked him how he was feeling in the current national climate. Naturally, he assumed I was talking about the coronavirus, because what white person actually addresses racism head on, in person, in their own home?
When Ernest realized I wanted to know about his experience with racism, he began answering my questions.
What’s it like for you on a day-to-day basis as a black man? Do cops ever give you any trouble?
The answers were illuminating.
Ernest, a middle-aged, friendly, successful business owner, gets pulled over in Myrtle Beach at least 6 times a year. He doesn’t get pulled over for traffic violations, but on the suspicion of him being a suspect in one crime or another. Mind you, he is in uniform, driving in a work van clearly marked with his business on the side. They ask him about the boxes in his car--parts and pieces of appliances. They ask to see his invoices and ask him why there is money and checks in his invoice clipboard. They ask if he’s selling drugs. These cops get angry if he asks for a badge number or pushes back in any way. Everytime he is the one who has to explain himself, although they have no real cause to question him.
Ernest used to help folks out after dark with emergencies. Not anymore. He does not work past dinnertime, not because he doesn’t need the business, but because it isn’t safe for him to be out after dark. He says “There’s nothing out there in the world for me past dark”.
Let me say that again. Ernest, a middle aged black man in uniform cannot work past dark in Myrtle Beach in 2020 because it’s not safe for him. He did not say this with any kind of agenda. It was a quiet, matter of fact truth.
A truth that needs to be heard.
When I asked Ernest what ethnic terms he gets offended at, he said that the most offensive term people use is ‘boy’. Ernest has a bachelors in electronics and an associates in HVAC. He is not a ‘boy’, and the term ‘boy’ in the south implies inferiority in station and status. He came to Myrtle Beach and got a job at Hobart. The supervisor repeatedly used the term ‘boy’. Ernest complained. After several complaints Ernest was fired.
Ernest says most white people are a little scared of him, and he’s often put in a position where he has to prove himself, as though he’s not qualified to repair appliances.
After getting a job for 2 years at Sears appliance, Ernest started his own company, one he’s been running for several years. He is the best repairman we’ve had, and has taught me about washer dryers and how to maintain them myself, even helping me with another washer/dryer set and a dishwasher without charging me. I highly recommend his company, Grand Strand Appliance.
I asked Ernest what he thought of “black bike week” in Myrtle Beach, where thousands of black people come with bullet bikes and trash our town. He says it hurts black people in our city, and he disagrees with the NAACP coming in to sue businesses that close on black bike week. He hates working that week.
Ernest doesn’t have hope that racism will change, no matter who the president is. His dad taught him “It’s a white man’s world”, and he’s done his best to live within it.
When I asked him what I could do, he said, “everyone needs to pray and realize we’re all just one country and one people”.
I am a 45 year old white woman living in the south. I can begin healing our country by talking frankly with African Americans in my world---by LISTENING to their lived experience and speaking up. I can help by actively promoting black owned businesses. That’s what I can do today. Let’s start by listening and lifting up. It’s that simple.
#listenandlift
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Edit: I asked Ernest if I could take his picture and post our conversation on facebook. He thought it was a great idea. As he left my house an hour later, he looked me in the eye and said, "If you ever march, or have a meeting on this topic, or want to change things in Myrtle Beach, I'll stand with you."
What a great idea. Let's begin standing together.
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Edit: 1pm EST on 6/1. Ernest just called me and we had one of the sweetest moments, both laughing and crying about the response to this post. He started the conversation by saying, "Caroline, I don't know if I should kill you or kiss you--my phone is ringing off the hook!"
He doesn't have a FB profile, so he's coming over later so I can help him set one up. He's been absolutely overwhelmed, as have I, with the response. We're going to be sitting down together to read your comments. They mean so much. In addition, the Myrtle Beach city manager has contacted me and I'm getting all of us together to be sure this doesn't happen in our city any longer. THANK YOU WORLD.
Edit 6/2 9am. Just got off the phone with Ernest and the local news. They will be interviewing us today, and it will be on the local news in Myrtle beach tonight. I'll post it on my page later.
This is how we change our country. Normal folks. One town at a time.
19 comments:
If all people in the cou try were like Ernest and Caroline we would.not be having these issues. There are people who are wrong and have bad actions on both side. Does not mean that all cops or white people are bad and racist. Also does not mean that all POC are thugs and gangbangers. Unfortunately, all white and cops are being labeled as evil.
This is the problem His father told him it's a white man's world. so many people and it's not just blacks have nothing but negative people ever in their lives.
Instead of telling a child i't a white man's world a more positive role model would say Make it your world.
More people need to emulate Sonya Carson and her style of parenting. She ended up with literally a brain surgeon and a rocket scientist. She didn't wallow in self pity. She couldn't conquer the world but she made sure her sons could and did.
That's not a revelation. It's been that way for year's. I used to be a HVAC man in Philadelphia. I too used to go out at all hours. Especially in the winter. People needed heat. I can't tell you how many times I was robbed. So I started carrying just to protect myself. I tried to get a permit but was denied. One winter morning I made a call about 1am. When I went back to the van to retrieve a tool. There's this guy in my van. I pulled the gun and just about shot. Then something told me not too. The guy ran. I didn't call the cops. Why?? But I thought that if I shot and killed that guy. What would have happened to me?? What about my family?? I never went out after 7pm. I'm retired now but I still think about that morning. Some guy was willing to risk his life and mine for a 200 Dollar service call.
We can make a change one person at a time. Inspiring. Thank you.
@ June 8, 2020 at 8:26 AM
The point of the article is to listen and understand. This man is a positive role model. He is a business owner, who gets pulled over 6 times a year for no other crime than being black, and each time is hassled about it, so much so, he had to stop doing business after certain hours because it's not worth it.
This problem is bigger than your "solution". Yes, your recommendation can help... but first we need to understand, listen and empathize. The truth is the truth, it doesn't matter if we like it or not. His concern is something I've never experienced, nor had to even consider. It wouldn't matter if you raised your children in any specific way at all, this would be the truth of it.
5 nights a week I worked in OC years ago. I had to travel home to Hebron after the bars closed and we packed up. I was always on the road around 3 A.M. Just about Every morning during those summer months I was pulled over, without exception. It got to the point i would just laugh when the cop came up, it would be County one morning, State another. I would be asked why I was on the road, and of course if I had been drinking. No, I was just do e with my 2and job trying to get home to get a little sleep. Oh I forgot to mention I am White. Was i stopped for racism, No. Had I had different color skin I could have probably thought so. The point is, I didn't hate the cops (they did make the night longer), they were just trying to find someone drinking. This stuff happens to all of us. I think a lot of other races think All white people live in million dollar houses and have trust funds. Us working class know what it is like not to have to nickles to rub together. I don't care what color skin you have, or what your job is, be a good person and treat those around you as you want to be treated. Classifying someone because of their skin pigmentation I have never understood, it is each individuals mentality that is suspect. We all have it rough, we all live this life together, remember to love and be loved. Hatred has no place in ones heart.
Doing a lot of back peddling today Albero. You are so easy.
Sorry 9:51 but that man's father put him down as a child. That is disturbing to think black children are put down by their own parents There is no such thing as being pulled over for simply being black. He was pulled over because of statistics. The only ones to blame for those statistics are other blacks. This is an uncomfortable conversation that blacks need to have before anything else.
America is the greatest Country on earth! It has become the greatest Country by applying Christian principles in its government and having has its goal the need to adhere to those principles. Our history demonstrates that. However, when a segment of our population continues to refer to our citizens, as is indicated earlier in this blog, being Black Americans, Asian American, Hispanic Americans, etc., versus AMERICANS as we all are, it will continue cause dissension and friction. It is a shame a segment of our population cannot get beyond an ethnicity identification.
Love this story, but sad his father told him it was a 'white mans world'...this left a mark on him. NOT all Black people feel this way...Shelby Steele, Dr. Ben Carson, Dr. Woodson and so many more. They Never felt inferior and made their mark on life. God created us male and female in His Image; all bleeding Red Blood. I do get it that the Black population has had to go through some bad times and things should and could change, but destructive rioting is not the answer. POTUS is trying very hard to help all races in our middle class and has made good progress...looking forward to healing America and more good to come from President Trump.
Some of you people are totally clueless.
Black people DO get profiled and bullied by the police. Getting pulled over (while wearing a work uniform and driving a company car!!) and treated like a drug dealer or questioned like you were a wanted man is total BS. BUT -it happens every day to black people.
10:33 -- quit making excuses for police who are, as you say, "trying to find someone drinking".
They don't get to stop people to "check for possible crimes". You should have been angry at that BS. A black friend of mine was driving through town with his white WIFE and the police pulled them over, made them exit the car, separated them and questioned them, thinking he was driving around with a prostitute. LOOKING for a "possible crime". Not legal, but done every day by people SWORN TO UPHOLD THE LAW.
No charges, no explanation.
Black people go through this EVERY DAY and you say it's THEIR fault?
Get a clue or STFU. Because, right now, you sound as stupid as dirt.
the rest of you?
Keep cheering.
I know a white guy in new york city, elevator repairman can't go into the projects to repair their elevators without someone giving him crap or trying to steal his tools. as he said I'm there to tey and help them and make their lives easier and they don't get it.
finally started packing.
So goes both ways!
There you have it! Time to let all you Nubian lovers have your space and allow us ours. Personally not into all your liberal ideology
Ahhh. How many times do blacks fight, run, or obstruct police when pulled over?? ALWAYS. So you can make excuses all you want. You lie. I've been pulled over many times. Even had several who were ASSHOLES. Trying to get me to do something stupid. I didn't bite. Guess what happened?? NOTHING.
Hope she got Ernest’s permission to post this because racists cops will really be after him now.
Notice you said you were stopped? But not dragged out the car or tazed or cussed out or threatened so miss us with the it happens to everyone.
Used to deliver vehicles all over the east coast. When I saw a vehicle pulled over with multiple cop cars and/or people removed from the vehicle 99% of the time it was a black male.
And THAT is why blacks are responsible for 50% of all crime. If this was done to everyone regardless of race I guarantee you the crime statistics would be much closer to representing actual demographics.
@7:10 I'm white male as well and I had terrible run in with ocean city police. I complied with their request and as soon as I attempted to leave the residence I was pepper sprayed and punched by two officer. Naturally I defended myself and within two minutes I had two officers on each arm and leg holding me down while the officer that initially punched me kicked in my ribs breaking several. So it happens to all of us both white and black the difference is now everyone has a camera and video. The point I'm trying to make is Ernest has a valid point there's nothing good going on after dark but a hard time. My situation was a late night excursion that I usually would have never been involved with but it was new years Eve and I gave in to the peer pressure
It’s a white mans world? No!
It’s a civilized world.
We are still waiting for some people to catch up.
I don’t believe this article.
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