President Barack Obama has endorsed Joe Biden for President.
The endorsement comes after Bernie Sanders dropped out, Tulsi Gabbard became mathematically impossible and a potted plant with a sign hung on it saying “Vote for me,” was run over by an out-of-control forklift.
In a speech made in an irritating, self-satisfied voice that was almost impossible to tolerate, Obama said, “I am pleased and proud to have no choice but to endorse the last person left in the race."
“Picking Joe Biden as my vice president was the best decision I ever made which, all right, isn’t saying much since I’m the guy who decided to give Iran 150 billion dollars and a nuclear bomb,” he continued.
Obama may have gone on to praise Biden’s character but after a while that voice of his just sounded so much like an ailing rhinoceros apologizing to Arabian tyrants for our traditions and history that most Americans zoned out and aren’t entirely sure what-all the guy said.
When it again became possible to listen to that ceaselessly depressing drone, Obama told the nation, “With Joe Biden we will turn away from divisive politics of self-dealing and mis-information, toward divisive politics of incompetence and abject stupidity. And that’s why I feel honored to be forced to finally break down and confess that this is what we’re stuck with.”
Bernie Sanders also endorsed Biden, saying, “Here, at last, is a man so politically inept, I should be able to squeeze concessions out of him until he sounds like Stalin, only senile.”
More satire here
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8 comments:
I have no doubt you do what your told obama but buffons support buffons.
He is holding his nose as he endorses Sleepy Joe. Harris was his real pick.
He feels obligated to support the only dem candidate...not because he's the man for the job, but because he's the Dems candidate. Stupid is as stupid does.
This article is hilarious. I appreciate the dripping satire; but it is not far from the truth. Even as a "Manchurian Candidate", Obama is smart enough to know that the puppet masters who authorized Biden as his running mate didn't foresee what a total dolt Biden had become; and then it was too late. Americans weeded out the chaff, Pete, Amy, Warren, and Bernie, and now the DNC is faced with a blithering idiot which is telling that they, the DNC, is clueless about what they are doing. Brokered convention coming.
Obama said he endorsed him because this is the presumed nominee, but he regrets it.
Obama remembers how Biden couldn't even navigate his way out of a Buffet much less being able to navigate the complex job of President.
Does Not matter what these two do !!! They are FINISHED !!! History !!!
From a MUSLIM to a RAPIST.
Biden will share his girls with Obama if he endorses him , Promised !!!!
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