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Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Resurrected Che Guevara Announces 2020 Run, Democrats Quickly Criticize As 'Too Moderate'

SANTA CLARA, CUBA—Is Marxist revolutionary Che Guevara too moderate for a 2020 run as a Democrat?

That's the question the left is asking after Guevara was resurrected by a leftist political action committee, Marxists for Equality, Socialism, and Stalinism. MESS activists arrived in Santa Clara earlier this week and summoned Guevara's spirit back from the dead using dark, demonic rituals, which are well-known to many Democrats. MESS then hastily photoshopped a birth certificate for Zombie Guevara so he would be eligible to run for president of the United States.

Guevara announced his run but was quickly denounced by many of his fellow candidates and other prominent Democrats.

"I'm just not sure Guevara is far enough left to be a viable Democratic candidate this election," said one political pundit on CNN. "He's really a centrist in the midst of this field of radical leftists, and we just don't think he's going to stand out this time."


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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

His problem: no flannel shirt, man bun, tattoos and piercings (that we can see.) With those corrections made, it wouldn't matter if he were dead or not.