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Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Florida Recount Finally Wraps Up, Al Gore Declared President

FLORIDA—As Florida finally wrapped up its contentious recount of the votes tallied in the recent midterm elections, a winner was finally declared: Al Gore is now the president of the United States.

The recount process at long last found the "missing votes" that would have handed Gore the presidency back in 2000, making him the official president of the country.

"Well, it's about time," Gore said in his acceptance speech. "Thanks to all the fine people that made this happen. It really is too bad that the earth is going to be destroyed by fire by 2015--err, I mean, 2019, or else I could really savor my presidency."

Gore will be granted two terms as US president, ousting President Trump and canceling the 2020 election. "We just assume he would have won again and ushered in a liberal golden age," said an election official. "So he's got 8 years to reclaim his lost time. Make the most of it, Al, and great job. You deserve it!"

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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

God help us if this were true!

Anonymous said...

If this situation wasn't so bad in Dale county this would be too funny.

Anonymous said...

Heaven forbid if this was true & retroactive back to 2000.Imagine 9/11 never happening and missing out on 2 wars.That would be awful.

Anonymous said...

That would be as bad as Hillary. He is at the bottom of the measuring stick on the IQ scale.