Ten reasons to vote Democrat by David Letterman

#10.  I vote  Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've  decided to marry my German Shepherd.

#9.  I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on  a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn't.

#8.  I vote Democrat because I  believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I  would.

#7.  I vote Democrat because  Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

#6.  I vote Democrat because I'm way too  irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to  protect me from murderers and thieves.  I am also thankful that we have a  911 service that gets police to your home in order to identify your body after a  home invasion.

#5.  I vote Democrat  because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we  keep all death row inmates alive and comfy.

#4.  I vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to  free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away Social Security from those who paid into it.

#3. I vote Democrat because I believe that businesses  should not be allowed to make profits for themselves.  They need to break  even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrat  Party sees fit.

#2.  I vote Democrat  because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days  to suit fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

… And, the #1 reason I vote Democrat is  because I think it's better to pay $billions$ for oil to people who hate us, but  not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher, or fish  here in America. We don't care about the beetles, gophers, or fish in those other countries.