I never thought I would be in the dating scene at 43. Not knowing where to begin since all my friends are married and I am not a bar hopper, someone suggested a dating site like Match.com or E-Harmony. I though about it for several weeks very guarded. Then I was like what the heck. BIG MISTAKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The first and only guy I was communicating with online seemed very pleasant, my age, divorced with children ( no problem) and was self employed. All which turned out to be true. So after our first public date we exchanged numbers. I never told him were I worked or lived. What he left out was ....HE IS A STALKER !!!!!!!
Being cautious I had even looked up his name in the public district / circuit court records.....and he was clean. However, he lived in Delmar, DE. and after the harassment and extreme unpredictable behavior began, I found out he had a record for domestic violence through Delaware.
He googled my name and got my address. It got so scary, 24/7 texting at all hours in the morning. I had to print out all his crazy off the wall and threatening text messages that I would not answer and take them to the sheriffs department and file a complaint for harassment.
Really ????? at 43 yrs. old this is what I have to deal with. I just wanted to make others aware also. I filed a complaint with the website and found out these sites cannot discriminate, and anyone including sex offenders can build a profile as long as the site is paid. Also for the short period of time I was on there, (one month) I noticed that there was a particular guy whose profile name was a real winner "Mr. Cat Daddy", and his picture changed three times from a professional white man in a tie to an African American, to a different white guy in a t shirt and shorts on the beach..... but his description never changed as to what he did, and what he was looking for in a partner.
BEWARE. I have now learned a great lesson, and no I didn't say to myself....well one bad apple out of the bunch. I immediately took my profile down!
17 comments:
maybe you should try the bar scene
Or how about a church social?
Did the same thing a few years back - no stalker but a lot of losers. I decided it was best to join a group or groups of some sort and meet people. It worked. I'm happily married to a gem of a guy.
Good Luck,
Or a Christian site!
A lot of people have great success on these sites - been to two weddings in the last four years where bride and groom had met online. Sorry for your experience!
These sites can most certainly "discriminate." Sex offenders, criminals, etc are not a protected class, so they can set in place policies "discriminating" against said types. It's just that they don't want to.
10:34 and 10:48 are on the money. Best place to go for some action!
10:58 I thought the sights did look into a persons back ground. I mean that should be a liability issue. Looks like people could sue them if something like this happens.
AARP meetings if you are into guys over 50.
OMG....this sounds like a guy I met. He was scary and a stalker from Delmar. Also divorced with kids. FREAKY !!!!!
As a man, I gave up on the dating sites a while ago because of the lack of educated, non-obese women around here.
Sadly, these sites also have lots of married men on them, lying and looking for hook-ups on the side. There are also men looking to sweet talk you into sending them money because they're stuck in a foreign country and crap like that. These sites should be required to confirm information and do background checks. If you're paying for it, they should have the resources to do it.
These sites also contain a lot of mentally unbalanced women as well. I tried this and the only thing I found was that the women, for the most part, were more interested in obtaining a sex partner than establishing a good solid relationship. It was nothing but a booty call site. And most of these were supposed to be mature women in their 50's and 60's. At least in a bar, you kinda get the feel for what everyone is after because these sites are nothing but camouflage for some really disturbed people,
"Anonymous Anonymous said...
10:58 I thought the sights did look into a persons back ground. I mean that should be a liability issue. Looks like people could sue them if something like this happens.
April 22, 2015 at 11:20 AM"
I've not ever been to one, but surely there is an agreement you must agree to and waiving liability would be a part of that agreement, I imagine.
I doubt they look into anyone's background because then it would open the door for liability issues if they missed a dangerous person- whether customers agree to waive liability or not. It's possible that some can be banned if they are reported to be a certain type of offender like a pedophile but as for the site doing background checks on everyone--- no way.
Now say for instance this particular stalker, who was reported to the site, does go on to murder someone he met on the site. That could very well become a liability for the site as they had warning he had the potential for being dangerous.
Take an evening class at Wor-Wic. Learn something new and meet people of your age who are doing the same.
I did E-Harmony 10 years back. It takes at least 45 minuted to fill out all their questions, so I wouldn't think the bad apples would stick around for that. Found some very nice ladies there, but none really worked out.
Still single @ 61...
Not to sound bad...but I met my husband at church. After two years I found out he was cheating. Neither one of us went back to that church because of the friends we had there wanted to be our concealers. Nothing against anyone trying g to help but it made it for an uncomfortable situation. I tried another church and met a nice man but because of the abuse from my first marriage I was very cautious and we went out a few times..there was no spark. Then that yet again made going to Church uncomfortable. I no longer attend. I can have my worship at home. Going to church doesn't mean you are perfect. Not to offend anyone. Just my opinion.
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