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Friday, March 13, 2015

Native American Council Offers Amnesty to 240 Million Undocumented Whites

The Native American National Council (NANC) will offer amnesty to the estimated 240 million illegal white immigrants living in the United States.

At a meeting on Friday in Taos, New Mexico, Native American leaders weighed a handful of proposals about the future of the United State’s large, illegal European population. After a long debate, NANC decided to extend a road to citizenship for those without criminal records or contagious diseases.

“We will give Europeans the option to apply for Native Citizenship,” explained Chief Sauti of the Nez Perce tribe. “To obtain legal status, each applicant must write a heartfelt apology for their ancestors’ crimes, pay an application fee of $5,000, and, if currently on any ancestral Native land, they must relinquish that land to NANC or pay the market price, which we decide.

“Any illegal European who has a criminal record of any sort, minus traffic and parking tickets, will be deported back to their native land. Anybody with contagious diseases like HIV, smallpox, herpes, etc, will not qualify and will also be deported.”

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12 comments:

Anonymous said...

What happened to blacks or Africans? Are they saying they don't want them in America? LOL

Anonymous said...

Good luck enforcing that, Chief.



Anonymous said...

That's right! They are the only illegals not being harassed. All they have brought to this world is disease and destruction. And let's not even get on technology. You only create these technologies so you can be superior to every other race, because you can't survive and thrive on the earth without them add to that fact that the sun is your enemy. Everything my Native American brothers and sisters are asking for won't even scratch the surface of what is owed to them. They deserve even more from you theiving, disease riddled, cowardly liars.

Anonymous said...

They'd still be living in teepees if whitey didn't show up. Whitey has brought a lot to the table unlike our new friends from the south.

Anonymous said...

9:00 I'm sorry I'm white, can you please find it in your heart to forgive me?

Ct said...

Read the article. It was only to show you that you can't believe everything you read. And you must read the whole thing.

lmclain said...

9:28....I don't want to blow you away with any facts, but the Indians were pretty happy in their "teepees".
Only the white man thinks he "helped" them. The Indians curse the day they saved the pilgrims from death and starvation.
And lets not forget how much that "help" has done for the Indians.
90% or more reduction in their population. 99% of their land stolen. Rapes, murders, and active attempts to erase their culture. HUNDREDS of broken treaties. Exploitation of resources.
The list is rather long. And shameful.
And they haven't had the benefit of several TRILLION dollars in aid, welfare, housing, free electricity, medical care, child care, and education.

Anonymous said...

Here we go with the "playing dumb" shenanigans you're known for. That doesn't work anymore....find a new gimmick. You are pathetic.

Anonymous said...

beautiful ...

Anonymous said...

Like 10:19 said, it's obvious most of you didn't read the full article.....it even says written in a satire format. I think it's a great article. The Indians are really the NATIVE AMERICANS, not us whites, not us blacks, not us orientals, not us middle east, not us Europeans. We screwed up their world, just as all of us are screaming that the blacks have screwed up the whites, and the whites are racist toward the blacks, and the Janpanese want apology payments for WWII. Read the article, it's great.

Anonymous said...

11:19--
Agreed. Most do not know, nor in some cases, want to know of the things our government did to these people (smallpox-infected blanket, anyone?). Nor the experiments on black servicemen so they could see the effects of syphillis, then later, LSD. Sad & deplorable!!

Anonymous said...

Does that mean I get native American assistance?