Dear Shopper,
Yes, I know. I’m well aware that my child is screaming. Not just a regular scream, but an ear-piercing, sanity-shattering screech. Even if I wasn’t seeing and hearing it, I would know by the expression on your face.
Clearly, you have raised your children better than me.
That is what you were wanting to say, right? There certainly can’t be any other purpose to you stopping in your tracks to stare or elbow your companion or better yet — give knowing looks to other shoppers passing by.
I have no doubt that you have wonderful, well-behaved children. Grown, tax-paying, law-abiding citizens who would never have dreamed of screaming like this in public when they were children. Judging by your expression and utter exasperation, you’ve never hesitated to let them know who was boss.
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DelMarVa's Premier Source for News, Opinion, Analysis, and Human Interest Contact Publisher Joe Albero at alberobutzo@wmconnect.com or 410-430-5349
37 comments:
I can't see why a good whack wouldn't do the trick. I don't care who you are or what ails one. I think when you are doing something and receive a negative stimulus such as a whack then naturally you would stop doing whatever it is or was you were doing.
Sorry - I don't buy it!
If you know your kid is that troublesome in public - don't take him there.
Your rights to interfere with public peace are not any greater than my rights to public peace.
You're absolutely right 6:54. If I were to make a scene like that in a store I would get locked up just because I don't have a bonafide disease.
It's almost like the race card situation. Certain ethnicities can get away with being loud and obnoxious but be a white person and people think you're weird and want to call the cops.
Sometimes I wonder if these people bring their disturbed kids to public places for attention or possibly an attempt to draw a lawsuit.
I cannot believe the ignorance of these comments. Until you have walked even one step in the shoes of the parent of an autistic child, you should just at least try to pretend you aren't that' stupid and insensitive. Do some research before you put your big fat foot in your big fat mouth.
My my 10:36. Why should I have to do some "research". I'm not the one disturbing innocent people. What a self serving, push you crap on others, liberal ATTITUDE!
I have an idea. Why don't those who's kids disturb the peace do some research and find ways to be more accommodating and mindful of others instead of just hiding behind a disease. Oh I know why, because this is the new America where the minority rules.
theres no such thing as autism. its another excuse for lazy parenting. virtually every intelligent creature is taught (in one way or another) by conditioning or action/reaction. beat the hell out of him/her each time he/she acts up. you will see a wonderful improvement in your demon spawn.
I guess there's no such thing as MR either (that's mental retardation for you bozos. Did you people ever hear of compassion for others? Oh no, let's just hide all of our different kids. We wouldn't anyone's peace disturbed. You people are sick. Don't even try to make sense, 10:36. This stuff is way over their tiny little heads. 11:03, the suggestion that you do research was to perhaps let you see what an ignoramus you are being when you write this "crap." But no, be happy and just don't give a damn. That's really what makes us a great society.
I think I just figured out where the bullies on the playground come from.....parents like some of these! Nice work, what happened to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you"??? Must have missed that Sunday school class?
Sorry, it's not my problem. YOU have the autistic child, not the rest of the world. It is NOT my responsibility to deal with him/her, if the child acts up, it is still directly your responsibility. Do not kill my buzz with your kid.
3:53 maybe the parents of the child with a made up disease and some of these ridiculous defenders of them need the whack in the head too, like 1:12 and 10:36!!!
Better yet, 4:59, why don't you just lock them all up like Hitler did to the "inferiors." No need to resort to violence. You might get in trouble for that!
May God forgive some of you. I think you're gonna need it. Austism is CLEARLY a medical condition with varying degrees of mental incapacitation. Sometimes, they CAN react in extreme ways and contrary to 10th century teaching, beating them does not "condition" them. Parents of autistic children go through a hell I would not want any part of, but they don't get a choice. And to keep them locked in a room all day so some adult won't be offended is painfully narrow-minded and selfish. Autistic kids DO NOT go around screaming all day. It happens. Remember something my mom and dad said -- "There, but for the Grace of God, go you....". And something else..."Judge not, be ye not judged". A car accident, a fall, a stray bullet whatever, could drop your IQ 70 points and you'll be knocking the glasses over at Longhorn because you can't control your motor functions. That could be YOU tommorrow. Easily. So, instead of worrying about your buzz, try asking the parent if there is anything you can do. It would mean the world to them. You might even get a star in the Book of Life. But for the Grace of God.....
Thank you, Imclain!
8:42, uh.... NO!
So true 5:50. You're right.
Apparently 8:42 just doesn't get it. Again we have to cater to the minority. Like they say, the squeaky wheel always gets the oil.
1:12 must be old school because the "R" is no longer permitted in a new and friendly society. I think "special needs" is the new terminology.
@ Imclain
Hey, it's 3:53 Anon here. First off, I don't believe in your sky daddy or his imaginary book... so you'll have to come up with a more compelling argument than that. Second, it's NOT my responsibility to cater to someone else's condition. SURE it would be nice to, but no one is obligated to so. And if someone doesn't want to acquiesce, the burden of responsibility should not be shifted.
It's simple, if you are embarrassed that your kid acts up in public, either 1) don't take him/her out to impose upon others or 2) be ready to take the heat and scorn when you kill someones buzz that day.
It's about personal responsibility.... don't try to shift yours onto someone else. They have the right to take their screaming child out to ruin my day, and I have the right to be scornful at them for ruining my day.
3:53 (anonymous, of course).....No one asked you to "cater" to someone's condition, and I didn't hear any "embarrassment" from the mother. I can also see that being "nice" to people in less fortunate circumstances is something you don't do. You can't make up stuff to justify your unbelievably selfish and self-centered attitude. If a screaming child ruins your day, what a sorry life you must lead. Perhaps you should consider not "buzzing" around all day, sort of like a fly, I suppose. You know the other thing a fly does, too, right? A compelling argument? How about compassion? Empathy? "Walk a mile in his shoes" ain't religion, but you should give it a try. The world doesn't revolve around you, nor does it owe you a comfortable "buzz". Karma, Yin & Yang, the circle of life, what goes around comes around, do unto others, etc. may or may not have religious implications, but I think "biting you in the ass" is something you should watch out for. You probably don't have any in you, but you should be ashamed to take such a stance. My "sky daddy" tends to even things out over time. Good luck.
Tired of hearing this walk a mile in his shoes, my shoes, their shoes, etc. Crap! One could say the same to you 8:56. Maybe 3:53 functions best with a buzz. Why don't you practice what you preach and walk a mile in his shoes.
@ Imclain
3:53 here again. Seriously? Compassion and empathy? Where was her compassion or empathy towards me when she and her kid ruins my day/kills my buzz? You don't seem to get it, this mother seems to feel she is entitled to inflict the rest of the world with her responsibility, and that we just have to take it... and that by not being "compassionate" to her situation then I must have some sort of problem... again, shifting the responsibility.
This, is not acceptable under any terms. If she was accepting responsibility and ownership of her situation, she would either not impose on others, or apologize for doing it... not try to shift the blame.
Alright 8:56. My disease might happen to be that I startle easy from loud noises. Particularly from screaming children. It just gets me frazzled. But hey, I'm not a card carrying member of the made up diseases of America club.
Give it up 8:56. You're wrong and you know it.
If your sissy ass "startles easily" from loud noises, maybe YOU should stay home and mend your dresses. Keep hittin' that bong in your Mom's basement. Austic kids don't go around screaming all the time. You get THAT, right? Its also not a "made-up" disease---its a verifiable medical condition. Have you ever even SEEN an autistic child? Think they are doing what, faking it? I'm sure if it was your child, you'd give it up because your are obviously - QUITE obviously - so self centered and purely selfish, you think the whole world revolves around making sure you are never upset or "startled". So, with YOUR reasoning, the PARENT should never go to the store or outside (they don't need to go to the grocery store, but clothes, acquire medicine, etc.? And a child who 95%(or more) of the time is quiet and calm should never go anywhere because it might kill your buzz? You couldn't handle A DAY in the life of the parent of an austistic child. Both 11:16 and 11:20 would do best to just shut up and quit exposing themselves as the self-centered, narrow-minded, self-righteous, smug, and self-absorbed girlie-boys that they so obviously are.
You just exhibited you whole post 8:29. Take a good long look in the mirror if you dare.
So tell me call sign Imclain, one with PTSD should keep their "sissy ass" home? Well you're welcome for the right to sit at your key board and judge!
YOU are the one who said you get "frazzled" at loud noises. You are the one who said no one has the right to infringe on your "buzz". I am the one who says its no big deal. I'm judging? YOU judged the mother AND the child. I'm cool with being in a store with someone with PSTD. And autism. Are you saying YOUR PSTD should be accomodated, but the autistic child should not? You keep using 5th grade reasoning and exposing your complete disregard for anyone but yourself. Which is symptomatic of the great problem in our great nation. Its always all about "ME ME ME", MY comfort. MY problems. MY needs. MY buzz. MY check. Here's a clue --- it is not. Here's another. PSTD is not a "disease". It's not contagious and not transmittable. It's a condition.
@ Imclain
It's 3:53 Anon again. Wow... what a dynamic change from your first post, which was all "God forgive you" and "Grace of God"... wow, I guess your last 2 entries really show your true colors. Name calling, ad hominems, it's really been a fun ride. "Judge not lest you be judged"... then you went right on into a fury of judgement. Oh, the irony.
You STILL don't get it. While I am empathetic to their situation, and I have compassion for them, it is still NOT o.k. for them to intrude on my day. She knows the child acts up, she should not put herself or the child in a situation where it will intrude on another persons day, and if she doesn't, accept the responsibility of the situation. What is so difficult to understand about that?
There are many screaming kids in public who are not autistic or have any other apparent diseases. They simply have not been disciplined and/or fed diets full of processed foods with dyes and other chemicals which produce hyperactivity, among other symptoms. I know many "special needs" children who eat out and do not cause a scene. But there are some who cannot always control themselves. If I want to dine out in peace and quiet, I simply don't go to the so-called "family restaurants". Plain and simple.
Thank you 8:12. I noticed the same thing. Seems like imclain is coming un glued at the seams. Take a look at some of his other rants on other posts. Could he be the now vanished Alex? The guy is a full blown nut case.
lmclain is a holier-than-thou-type person. we get that. if he chooses to coddle these apes and wild heathens, he may do so. after all, he screams about all cops being horrible - even though in those cases he cant see the one bad apple arguement.
conditioning IS a proven method of behavior modification. those degrees of modification can vary too - from a stern word to shock therapy.
I re-read my so-called "rants" to see if I was becoming "unglued"....LOL....cooler than a body on ice...austitic children are now "apes"(!!?) and beating them into submission is OK? And I am the one "unglued"? The lady with the autistic child cannot predict if her child will react to a stimulation or not. Does someone who drinks and gets into a fight deserve to be banned from public because he ruined my evening? You expect everyone else to accomodate you, but the lady doesn't get the same? Finally, the "one bad apple" is a cop excuse, but it's actually a truckload of bad apples and, unfortunately for your argument, facts are on my side. I know you must hate that.
And, I'm not judging you imbeciles. I'm ACCUSING you. Shock therapy? For AUTISM?? Really!? Probably will cure mental retardation, too, huh? If not, some brutal beatings (over time,of course) should do the trick. Hitler would have LOVED you. There's a BIG difference between a "misbehaving child" and an autistic one - you don't know that??? I do get it, too -- we have a certain right not to be "intruted upon" by others, but I doubt if this lady is doing anything other than trying to cope with a very difficult life and situation. People "intrude" into other's lives every day, some quite deliberately. Thats called "Life". Get over it. And quit thinking that the whole world is supposed to make sure you never get upset, bothered, inconvienienced, or frazzled. You should know better. Maybe not, though.
Dear readers,
I m both shocked and saddened to read the running commentary here with regard to the autistic in our society. The writer of the article is simply asking all of us to not pre judge situations, to be compassionate and understanding. To say or imply your day was disrupted ( buzz kill was the exact terminology, I believe) is both selfish and cruel. I am the father of an autistic child, and like the author of the article, I have struggled with my son's condition.
Now, for the human side for those who somehow believe as parents of autistic children or family members take joy in subjecting the rest of the community to our family members challenges; we don't - we don't want special treatment, just understanding. We do not want or expect society to do anything more than be compassionate. I could tell endless stories to try to get others to understand, but it is as simple as this. We did not ask to have an autistic child. We are college educated parents, who took care of ourselves prior to having children. We are not some left wing liberal nuts who want the world to give us anything. We are just regular people who wanted to have children. Our son goes to kindergarten in a county school, attends church weekly, and does all of the normal things children do at the tender age of five. He also has to contend with being called stupid by his classmates, is looked at as odd, withstands the whispers (and at times outright rude remarks) of others in social settings, internalizing all of the negativity from a society that does not care to understand him. He asked me why he is different than the other kids at supper this evening, and my wife and I were in tears, and simply told him that God made him special for the world, but we know the ridicule and pain he will face during his lifetime.
We wanted nothing but a "normal" child - and to read the comments listed in this blog makes me fear for the day that his mother and I will not be there to care and comfort him when others hurt him.
We just want others to try to not judge us for the challenges we face with him. It pains us greatly to hear remarks made about him when he begins to "stim" or perseverates in a social setting, but we know that if he is not exposed to social settings - if he doesn't have the opportunity to learn and adapt, he will have no real chance at life, and it hurts us. For those who have printed such disparaging remarks in this post, I pray that you can live out your lives not having to face anything remotely as challenging as the daily battles we have to face over the simplest of tasks. I pray you do not ever have a family member who requires care that is outside the understanding of the greater society as a whole. I pray you do not have to endure the pain of knowing your child is different and I pray you do not have to endure the heartache we face as we do our very best to get him help and support so that he can succeed.
Be kind - we don't want anything special for our son. We don't want extraordinary measures of any sort. Just kindness and an attempt at understanding.
Please consider this the next time you see a child acting in an odd manner.... Resist thinking that some manner of corporal punishment would stop the behavior you deem disturbing and inappropriate. Resist rushing to judgment for you may one day be in a similar circumstance. And finally, please remember that we will all be judged by God in all of our interactions during our lives here on earth. We will be specifically judged on how we responded, kind or otherwise. It is a simple thing and I ask that you each consider your remarks and reflect with regard to how you will respond. I am very proud of my son, of who he is, and who he is becoming. I don't expect anyone to give him anything in life, but I do not think it is too much to ask for.
Respectfully,
The parent of autistic little boy in Hebron, MD
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