Observations On Growing Older

It's harder to tell navy from black.

Everything old is new again, but if you wore it before, say in the 60's, then you're too old to wear it the second time around.

Your kids are becoming you - and you don't like them, but your grandchildren are perfect!

Yellow becomes the big color - hair, teeth, nails.

Going out is good; coming home is better!

When people say, "You look great," they add, "for your age!"

When you needed the discount you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything -movies, hotels, flights.

You forget names, but it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you.

The last 2 outfits you wore had spots on them.

You ask your husband or friend how your outfit looks, and they tell you the truth.

The five pounds you wanted to lose is now 25, and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 25 pounds.

You realize you're never going to be really good at anything - especially golf.

Your husband is counting on you to remember things you don't remember.

The things you cared to do, you don't care to do, but you care that you don't care to do them anymore.

You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring then you do in bed. It's called "pre-sleep".

Remember when your mother said, "Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident?" Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident.

You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married." Now it's, "I hope they STAY married!"

Who wants to wear 3-inch heels anyway?

You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.

You remember when GOOGLE, iPod, email, modem were unheard of and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table.

You use more 4 letter words -"WHAT?" "WHEN?"

Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.

On a night out with friends you'll be home by 9:00 PM; 8:30 PM is even better.

You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it before.

You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless" now.

Many of the people in 'People Magazine' you've never heard of.

Your concealer doesn't conceal.

Your lipstick bleeds.

Your mascara clumps, and your eyebrows are disappearing.

You don't have hair under your arms and very little on your legs, but your chin or ears need to be plucked daily.

What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

Everybody whispers.

Now that your husband has retired, you'd give anything if he'd find a job.

You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet, 2 of which you will never wear again.

But old is good in some things - old songs, old movies, and best of all -- old friends!

The most memorable people in your life will be the Friends who loved you when you weren't very lovable.