ASCROTM By Any Other Name, Or How Your ASCROTM Became The Barrie T
Following the launching of the lawsuit against the City by the MPAA and others, the ASCROTM In The Park film series continued, but only by showing movies that were in the public domain, that is, not owned by anyone in particular. After a few weeks of these sometimes “cult” film presentations, it was discovered that while attendance numbers actually dramatically rose, promoters found that the audience was increasingly comprised of “just too many weirdos and ne'er do wells”, according to an SFD Volunteer Auxiliary member. It was then that the film series ended, with scarcely a groan from the public, aside from an isolated "Aw, dude!" or two from affected patrons.
To divorce itself from adverse publicity and the embroiling MPAA litigation, and to perhaps soften the sound of the name and thereby its perception by the public, SFD heads determined that a formal naming ceremony for the ASCROTM-4F would kill several birds with one stone. A commission was created by the mayor, and filled with concerned citizens. A second group of concerned citizens, protesting the makeup of the commission, attempted to put the issue to referendum, but were unable to raise even a quarter of the necessary signatures in their drive. The ASCROTM-4F Naming Commission, or, as it was popularly known, ASCROTMNC, met eight times in early 2012. At the eighth meeting, the name choice was announced. Mayor Shanie Shields read from a prepared statement, “In recognition of her final successful grant-sharing effort while in office, which was the awarding to the Salisbury Fire Department the ASCROTM-4F, a craft that has saved lives and it was given to us free. Because of this the ASCROTM will now be named after Mayor Barrie Parsons Tilghman. We will call it The Barrie T , which is shorter. Thank you. You go out to your left and audience exits after you for drinks and cake in the next room. Remember your sugar.”
Attendees supporting the naming were pleased. “Not only does this fine craft memorialize our beloved mayor, we think it actually looks a bit like her and speaks of her bearing and philosophy. Proud, forward looking, erect. This is a fitting memorial, along with the WWTP, for our favorite mayor.”
It may be remembered by some that former mayor Barrie Parsons Tilghman died in 2011 of undisclosed causes at the Betty Ford Satellite Clinic in Rancho Malario, Panama. She was 61.
0200
Interview With Commandant Leatherbury
Soon to retire Maryland State Police Commandant Ernest Leatherbury, closely involved with the local and regional law enforcement effort surrounding The Barrie T, had this to say about the multi-agency sting, which utilized the talents of no fewer than nine local, county, state and federal law enforcement entities. “We were onboard with the Wicomico County Sheriff's office and the DEA from the start, about four months ago. Once we knew surveillance was involved , we offered our helicopters. When they said that they had that covered, we went into proactive mode and claimed traffic control as our own. We worked with DSP and VSP to be ready to create a fast-access corridor from Cape Charles to Wilmington. We were ready.”
The Maryland State Police continue to offer exceptional traffic control coverage, now maintaining clear roads to and from the Wicomico County Detention Center from Route 13.
Another Interview With Sheriff Lewis
We've always envied the SFD its ASCROTM. Even though it's configured for marsh firefighting, it's a tool that we could use in multiple scenarios: drug surveillance and interdiction, search and rescue, traffic and crash site monitoring and warning, hostage situations, and a bunch I can't even think of right now. Well, as this is a confiscated vehicle, used to transport drugs, illegal cigarettes and illegal weapons across county and state lines, I think it's going to be ours, lock stock and barrel. Once we get that ugly paint off her sides and get some decent countertops in her, we'll be ready to roll. Just kidding, we'll use the countertops she has. No, wait. One more thing. We're going to have to rename her. The Barrie T just isn't going to fly. I don't know why we wouldn't just go back to calling it ASCROTM. It has a ring to it. It sounds official. It sounds like a crewcut looks: professional and official. You know, when you sport a crewcut, people tend to look up and right at you. Same with ASCROTM.”
When asked what he thought of the history of the ASCROTM, now that its true purposes were coming to light, Lewis said, “They shouldn't have abused the privilege of having something as great as this gift. If if you get something you can't afford and have no use for, even if it is a gift, you don't deserve to have it and you're probably taking it from someone who can use it, or who even needs it. People, especially government people, seem to think that you can't say no to the offer of a gift, that every time they do accept a gift it's working toward some sort of automatic progress, even if it's clearly not. In fact, some of them go out of their way to get things that they don't need, and they get other people in along with them, some with the same "I gotta have it" disease and some who are just swayed by people who say they're their friends and protectors. I'm not sure what to call that. Greed? Avarice? Stupidity? I just don't know.”
Interview with Alan Webster, Chief of Police, Salisbury
We became involved with this massive law enforcement effort early on, I think just over a month ago. We had been suspicious of the activities of the SFD when it came to the ASCROTM, but we were cautioned by Mayor Shields to be, as she put it, "Expectable and without glaring infratractionals", which I took to mean that we should put our resources and capabilities elsewhere. I was happy to hear that instruction from Her Honor, as it meant that we could continue to address the slight increase in crimes resulting from the improving economy. I know that sounds paradoxical, but, as you know, the increase in the national debt and the loss of millions of jobs was putting a strain on the lower and middle classes.
Anyway, when this thing came to a head about a month ago, I offered our services to the DEA. We have yet to hear from them, but we'll keep an ear to the ground and be prepared to defend our jurisdiction."
0239
It has been learned that the two detainees Calderon are first cousins, and are allegedly members of the alleged Calderon family Central American drug cartel. The Calderon family has long been seen at as one of the guiding forces of the Columbian drug trade, with ties to the Mid Atlantic Drug Cartel, whose members include many from crime gangs in the City of Salisbury. The Calderons are known for vigorously protecting their own, and have been known to stage violent, bloody raids on jails and holding facilities to effect the release of their family members.
Stay with Salisbury News as we continue this report.
Following the launching of the lawsuit against the City by the MPAA and others, the ASCROTM In The Park film series continued, but only by showing movies that were in the public domain, that is, not owned by anyone in particular. After a few weeks of these sometimes “cult” film presentations, it was discovered that while attendance numbers actually dramatically rose, promoters found that the audience was increasingly comprised of “just too many weirdos and ne'er do wells”, according to an SFD Volunteer Auxiliary member. It was then that the film series ended, with scarcely a groan from the public, aside from an isolated "Aw, dude!" or two from affected patrons.
To divorce itself from adverse publicity and the embroiling MPAA litigation, and to perhaps soften the sound of the name and thereby its perception by the public, SFD heads determined that a formal naming ceremony for the ASCROTM-4F would kill several birds with one stone. A commission was created by the mayor, and filled with concerned citizens. A second group of concerned citizens, protesting the makeup of the commission, attempted to put the issue to referendum, but were unable to raise even a quarter of the necessary signatures in their drive. The ASCROTM-4F Naming Commission, or, as it was popularly known, ASCROTMNC, met eight times in early 2012. At the eighth meeting, the name choice was announced. Mayor Shanie Shields read from a prepared statement, “In recognition of her final successful grant-sharing effort while in office, which was the awarding to the Salisbury Fire Department the ASCROTM-4F, a craft that has saved lives and it was given to us free. Because of this the ASCROTM will now be named after Mayor Barrie Parsons Tilghman. We will call it The Barrie T , which is shorter. Thank you. You go out to your left and audience exits after you for drinks and cake in the next room. Remember your sugar.”
Attendees supporting the naming were pleased. “Not only does this fine craft memorialize our beloved mayor, we think it actually looks a bit like her and speaks of her bearing and philosophy. Proud, forward looking, erect. This is a fitting memorial, along with the WWTP, for our favorite mayor.”
It may be remembered by some that former mayor Barrie Parsons Tilghman died in 2011 of undisclosed causes at the Betty Ford Satellite Clinic in Rancho Malario, Panama. She was 61.
0200
Interview With Commandant Leatherbury
Soon to retire Maryland State Police Commandant Ernest Leatherbury, closely involved with the local and regional law enforcement effort surrounding The Barrie T, had this to say about the multi-agency sting, which utilized the talents of no fewer than nine local, county, state and federal law enforcement entities. “We were onboard with the Wicomico County Sheriff's office and the DEA from the start, about four months ago. Once we knew surveillance was involved , we offered our helicopters. When they said that they had that covered, we went into proactive mode and claimed traffic control as our own. We worked with DSP and VSP to be ready to create a fast-access corridor from Cape Charles to Wilmington. We were ready.”
The Maryland State Police continue to offer exceptional traffic control coverage, now maintaining clear roads to and from the Wicomico County Detention Center from Route 13.
Another Interview With Sheriff Lewis
We've always envied the SFD its ASCROTM. Even though it's configured for marsh firefighting, it's a tool that we could use in multiple scenarios: drug surveillance and interdiction, search and rescue, traffic and crash site monitoring and warning, hostage situations, and a bunch I can't even think of right now. Well, as this is a confiscated vehicle, used to transport drugs, illegal cigarettes and illegal weapons across county and state lines, I think it's going to be ours, lock stock and barrel. Once we get that ugly paint off her sides and get some decent countertops in her, we'll be ready to roll. Just kidding, we'll use the countertops she has. No, wait. One more thing. We're going to have to rename her. The Barrie T just isn't going to fly. I don't know why we wouldn't just go back to calling it ASCROTM. It has a ring to it. It sounds official. It sounds like a crewcut looks: professional and official. You know, when you sport a crewcut, people tend to look up and right at you. Same with ASCROTM.”
When asked what he thought of the history of the ASCROTM, now that its true purposes were coming to light, Lewis said, “They shouldn't have abused the privilege of having something as great as this gift. If if you get something you can't afford and have no use for, even if it is a gift, you don't deserve to have it and you're probably taking it from someone who can use it, or who even needs it. People, especially government people, seem to think that you can't say no to the offer of a gift, that every time they do accept a gift it's working toward some sort of automatic progress, even if it's clearly not. In fact, some of them go out of their way to get things that they don't need, and they get other people in along with them, some with the same "I gotta have it" disease and some who are just swayed by people who say they're their friends and protectors. I'm not sure what to call that. Greed? Avarice? Stupidity? I just don't know.”
Interview with Alan Webster, Chief of Police, Salisbury
We became involved with this massive law enforcement effort early on, I think just over a month ago. We had been suspicious of the activities of the SFD when it came to the ASCROTM, but we were cautioned by Mayor Shields to be, as she put it, "Expectable and without glaring infratractionals", which I took to mean that we should put our resources and capabilities elsewhere. I was happy to hear that instruction from Her Honor, as it meant that we could continue to address the slight increase in crimes resulting from the improving economy. I know that sounds paradoxical, but, as you know, the increase in the national debt and the loss of millions of jobs was putting a strain on the lower and middle classes.
Anyway, when this thing came to a head about a month ago, I offered our services to the DEA. We have yet to hear from them, but we'll keep an ear to the ground and be prepared to defend our jurisdiction."
0239
It has been learned that the two detainees Calderon are first cousins, and are allegedly members of the alleged Calderon family Central American drug cartel. The Calderon family has long been seen at as one of the guiding forces of the Columbian drug trade, with ties to the Mid Atlantic Drug Cartel, whose members include many from crime gangs in the City of Salisbury. The Calderons are known for vigorously protecting their own, and have been known to stage violent, bloody raids on jails and holding facilities to effect the release of their family members.
Stay with Salisbury News as we continue this report.
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