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Saturday, October 17, 2009

It Couldn't Happen Here - Part IV

Bulletin
0435
In a quiet and daring raid on the WCDC compound, uniformed armed attackers have taken over the building and grounds, disabled some thirty law enforcement vehicles and removed the alleged perpetrators to what have been described as “ eight or nine black Tahoe or Escalade type SUVs with Virginia tags.” Stunned officers from all eight agencies, once relieved of their sidearms, backup weapons, cellphones and radios, looked at one another as if to say, “I thought he was one of yours.” The sound of zip cuffs filled their stony silence, and infiltrators emptied cells and interrogation rooms of suspects while law enforcement officials sat on the linoleum tile, cuffed three at a time, back to back.

0446
Twitter reports from the Salisbury bypass indicate that the vehicles are on their way past the Route 50 interchange, possibly on their way to the airport. Yes, it looks like it will be the airport, as we have a report of a similar group of individuals taking over the area around The Barrie T. Those individuals have evidently been successful in capturing all of the crime scene investigators at the site, herding them to a nearby hangar. They have pirated The Barrie T and seem to be readying it for flight.

And, from the Salisbury State Police Barrack, we're told that some 2,800 pounds of marijuana, 1100 pounds of cocaine, 800 pounds of heroin and 23,000 cartons of Newport cigarettes have been recovered from the ground and waters along the route The Barrie T took from Assateague to Salisbury last night. Both MSP and VSP report that many potential witnesses were found at the scenes, and say that they will testify that they saw large parcels being jettisoned from The Barrie T under its floodlights as it made its way toward Salisbury. We hope to speak with at least one of those witnesses soon.

0522
Eyewitness Account of Hobart Waldron Collard, Jr., Accomack County, VA:
We are fortunate to have this witness with us on the phone. Would you tell us what you saw?

"It was nigh-on dark. I seen him out there while I was sittin' on the bank fishin', him settin' the fire to the grass with one of them little blowtorches. You know the ones – about a foot and a half long you get tanks fer down at the hardware. Anyway, he goes down the hedgerow, stands up tall, an' licks his finger an' holds it up to get a reckonin' on the wind, an' then he lights that little torch an' then walks a line, settin' the marshgrass alight as he goes. I lose him in the smoke, him walkin' away from me, even tho' he's wearin' his yeller fire suit an' helmet. An' 'bout ten minutes later here comes the blimp, ya know, that Salisbury one that got so much flap after the movie people sued the city fer ten million dollars fer showin' two year's worth a the movies to the public ever' Sunday night without a license or somethin'. They won, too, so I hear, or they settled with the city fer some gawd awful sum. A lot to pay to see some movies, even if it is on the side of a blimp, in my opinion.
Well, anyway, by that time the marsh was ablazin' under a five knot breeze, and all the critters with a prayer at survivin' were either diggin' in or headin' for better breathin' places. The blimp's about a hunnert feet up and it's followin' the wind. It's all lit up inside and there's some real loud music comin' out of it. You know that music they played in that Vietnam war movie with the helicopters? The same music. All of a sudden, Bang! Bang! There's shots bein' fired from the damn thing. Lots of shots. I look out on the marsh and sees deers fallin', right and left. These jaybobs are huntin' from that airborne rig!. And they's havin' some great luck, too. A 'course the spotlights they're usin' are a big help. Then, out the corner of my eye, I sees a big black pickup come rollin' across the field. It's that fella who set the fire in the first place. He's getting out an' pickin' up the deers an' him an' another fella in a yeller fire suit are throwin' the deers in the truck. This goes on fer about a hour. The marsh grass has pretty much burned isself out, but these fellers swing that odd lookin' thing around over the burnt out meadow and let loose with some kinda fire killin' powder that comes down and turns the whole meadow to lookin' like a Christmas card under a full moon. There's all sorts of whoopin' and hollerin' goin' on up there, like when they's givin' out prizes at the lodge a couple hours after the drinkin' has commenced. They hang around for about a hour or so, soundin' like they's havin' a fine time up there, an' I even hear some ladies' voices, an' then they start to motor off toward the Maryland line. They're headin' fer the horizon and I was just about to go out to the field and pick up all the cans and bottles they threw out their windows when Jimmy Barnes, the local Back Country Ranger feller..... What? No, little Jimmy Barnes... you're thinkin' of his dad. Anyway, Jimmy comes up behind me and asks me all sorts of questions about the blimp and the last couple of hours and if I'd seen 'em there before an' so on. An' he's got these other two fellers with him, one's from the FBI and the other one's from the DOA, and they ask me all the same questions again. And then Jimmy told me that I'd have to come and testify, and that's how come I ended up tellin' you this. Then I went out and picked up those cans and bottles they tossed out of the blimp. It came out to $11.35. Pretty good fer fifteen minutes of bendin' over. Did I see anything else get throwed out of the blimp? Could be, but it was gettin' dark and them guts can be treacherous in the dark if you don't know 'em good. Do I know 'em good? Well, I 'spect I do. 'Scuse me but I have to git back home.”

0605
Our camera feed is coming from the lead Maryland State Police Helicopter. I can see that it's the yellow one, not one of the ones painted like an MSP cruiser. About a half mile ahead of us is The Barrie T, which is now moving east over the western edge of Berlin. Attempts to reach the crew by radio have been fruitless, as have been attempts to reach it by loudspeaker or force it down by helicopters flying in its intended path. Nothing seems to work. Alongside the craft, spotters report that the windows to the blimp have been covered by their reflective shades, not allowing any glimpse whatever into the cockpit.



Bulletin
0612
Salisbury News has learned that a Navy fighter wing squadron from Patuxtent River Air Station has been scrambled to intercept The Barrie T before she reaches international waters. They have an ETA of just over twelve minutes.







Our resident know-it-all guy, G.A. Harrison, when asked about what the escapees might be trying to accomplish by heading out to sea, said, “The Atlantic Ocean is big. Really big. Not as big as the Pacific, but it's big. And there are beaches in the Atlantic, and in the Caribbean, too, which is connected to the Atlantic by miles of water. And the beaches are connected to countries. And in the countries are people who would pay money, lots of money, to have a craft like the ASCROTM-4F. I'm guessing that the people in the ASCROTM are heading for one of those beaches, and intend to sell the ASCROTM to one of those countries. And if the sellers are smart, they'll include lifetime protection in their bargains, lifetime protection for them, that is, with no threat of extradition. And if they're guilty of even half of the charges, you know they've done some financial planning and are going to be living a pleasant life somewhere that might better be called The Land of Pleasant Living. More pleasant living than where you and I are standing, of that you can be sure.”

0628
The State Police Helicopter that holds our camera is above the Atlantic and we're hovering at about 300 feet. We can see The Barrie T in the distance. She's reached a distance of nearly six miles from shore, and continues on a dead-east heading. DEA-directed Navy F-35 fighters have been buzzing the ASCROTM, attempting to convince the blimp's pilot to turn the craft around and return to land. To this point, the effort seems unsuccessful.

DEA spokesman Garrett McDonough was the first to speak to what would happen if The Barrie T failed to come around and head back to land. “We count a total of at least seventeen people in there. We don't know if it's a hostage situation or what. We do know that they were broken out of the detention center by people who knew what they were doing and who had practiced for something like this for a long time. We still don't know who they are. Forensics is working on it, but time is running out. We don't know if the ship is still carrying contraband, including what might be tons of illegal drugs and unknown numbers of weapons. We do know that we're just about to do the last thing we know to do. We're going to puncture the skin of the blimp with the hopes that we can bring it down to a fairly controlled stop, somewhere short of international waters. We know the cab is designed to float and float well. If it's not damaged when it sets down, it'll float for an almost unlimited time, enough time to get Coast Guard rescue helicopters from Norfolk and Cape May, who are on their way as I speak, on site for rescue and recovery. Excuse me. We're about to begin.
0644
With the final attempt at getting a reaction from the pilot of The Barrie T a seeming waste of effort, Navy jets have positioned themselves for a short strafing run that will serve to puncture the 320 foot blimp's Kevlar skin and release the gas that holds the craft aloft. The first jet is making a slow run from the north as the first light of sunrise begins in the distance ahead of The Barrie T. The pilot is radioing to command for permission to fire. Permission is given. He fires two rounds of non-explosive ordnance from the ship's computer controlled 20 mm cannon from a distance of some 1000 yards. The first of the rounds hits high, but punctures the blimp's skin. The next round is lower, and hits the belly of the blimp, high above the control gondola.


December 12, 2015
From the report of the Congressional Inquiry regarding The Barry T Incident

"Time sequence photographs from the Navy F35's gun cameras and those of Salisbury News have proven beyond a doubt that the massive explosion that in 2014 completely obliterated the blimp, The Barrie T , as it headed toward international waters after a daring escape by seventeen detainees from the Wicomico County Detention Center was not caused by a projectile hit on any of the ship's fuel components or engines. It confirms previous scientific speculation, based upon reliable testimony and inspection of Salisbury Fire headquarters, that the craft and its contents were immolated by the very forceful ignition of the five million cubic feet of hydrogen that were held in the blimp's gas reservoirs, with a secondary explosion of fuel cells vaporizing the blimp, its cargo and passengers.
Federal and state officials, including those of the Navy, whose shots seemingly initiated the conflagration, agreed with FAA officials, who stated on record, “It is the finding of our exhaustive investigation regarding the destruction of the blimp known as The Barrie T, that the explosion of the craft was caused by the ill-advised, even foolish use of hydrogen as a lift gas instead of the recommended gas, helium, which is a stable, non-explosive gas. The use of hydrogen in lighter than air craft has been banned in the United States and throughout the world for so long that regulatory agencies no longer even test for its presence. In keeping with our findings, all law enforcement agencies and the Navy should be considered exonerated from responsibility regarding this tragic circumstance. No bodies or human remains were found at the scene or washed up on regional beaches, and all who were aboard the craft at the time have been declared missing and assumed dead.""




December 18, 2022

1330
The Salisbury Fire Department is rumored to be the intended recipient of funding from the Department of Homeland Security for the purchase of a 32' fire submarine. Its intended use, say DHS officials, is to “serve as a stealthy, fast-response firefighting craft in the Wicomico River and along the Chesapeake Bay from Annapolis to Cape Charles.” Debate in city council and elsewhere continues, but inside sources say that the craft is “just what we need” and that approval by the mayor and council are merely formalities.



Council President Louise Smith had this to say: "A submarine?
I knew Captain Nemo. Now that was a scrotum!"


And a perhaps curious note:
Unsigned postcards addressed to the Mayor of Salisbury, sent from tropical climes, continue to arrive, but in greater numbers than ever before.

11 comments:

doug wilkerson said...

Your just to stupid to know any better arent you???

Anonymous said...

This is wickedly funny. Too bad the city doesn't have any other issues the author could write abour.

Anonymous said...

And the bad guys get away with screwing the public for years. Great...

Anonymous said...

What the hell is this?

Anonymous said...

I am so confused, what is this? I got a headache trying to understand it!

Anonymous said...

This would be much better if the author used a heading, or a special part of the blog was set aside for fiction writing.

At first glance, it looks like some weird news, and may confuse people.

Anonymous said...

It's more political satire about Salisbury's getting a fireboat they'll never use but will have to pay big bucks for in the end. The same author posted a first chapter last week before the fireboat vote in city council.
It looks like he/she has a problem with the decision.
You have to know Salisbury politics to get this. To those on the inside, it's pretty funny and way too true.

Anonymous said...

Don't even have a clue...all of the parts were too long to read.

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious satire, but you should have released one part a day. Each part is long.

All together, they're an overdose.

At first I laughed so hard, I had to reread parts I laughed through.

By the end, I was depressed because the horrible waste of money and other idiocy was just too true too laugh any more.

Anonymous said...

It DID happen here.......

Wed 11/18/09 Officers held Hostage
at WCDC by management, can't leave

Midnight shift FORCED to remain
behind security door, after their
shift over and done , Not Being
allowed to leave and go home,
against their will.

Harassment at it's Finest at WCDC

Officers treated as inmates

Drafting rules not being followed
and they think they can do whatever they please to the officers trying to go home.

They could NOT make any officer stay, to begin with, check the Rules people. Get your act together Sgt Stevenson...........
before YOU GET SUED along with the
County, by your own OFFICERS.....

Anonymous said...

who do they think they are???
the nerve, forcing employees to
stay in jail, and not allow them
to go home after their work shift
was over...

wrongful imprisonment
stopping the free mvmnt of free
people Not Legal Be careful
who gave WCDC the authority to
do such a thing ??? is this Russia?