My fellow Americans:
As your future President I want to thank my supporters, for your mindless support of me, despite my complete lack of any legislative achievement, my pastor's relations with Louis Farrakhan and Libyan dictator Moamar Quadafi, or my blatantly leftist voting record while I present myself as some sort of bi-partisan agent of change.
I also like how my supporters claim my youthful drug use and criminal behavior somehow qualifies me for the Presidency after 8 years of claiming Bush's youthful drinking disqualifies him. Your hypocrisy is a beacon of hope shining over a sea of political posing.
I would also like to thank the Kennedy's for coming out in support of me. There's a lot of glamour behind the Kennedy name, even though JFK started the Vietnam War, his brother Robert illegally wiretapped Martin Luther King, Jr. and Teddy killed a female employee with whom he was having an extra marital affair and who was pregnant with his child. And I'm not going anywhere near the cousins, both literally and figuratively. And I'd like to thank Oprah Winfrey for her support. Her love of meaningless empty platitudes will be the force that propels me to the White House.
Americans should vote for me, not because of my lack of experience or achievement , but because I make people feel good. Voting for me causes some white folk to feel relieved of their imagined, racist guilt. I say things that sound meaningful, but don't really mean anything because Americans are tired of things having meaning. If things have meaning, then that means you have to think about them.
Americans are tired of thinking. It's time to shut down the brain, and open up the heart. So when you go to vote, remember don't think, just do. And do it for me.
Thank You.
Barack Hussein Obama, Jr.
21 comments:
hilarious!
The pacts starting the Vietnam War were signed by Eisenhower, not Kennedy.
You better put up an insulting picture of Bomb-Bomb McCain too. Neither of this two corporate stooges will solve our problems! The "Republicrats" ARE our problem.
VOTE NADER! NO, he did NOT put Bush in office by running in 2000. That election was STOLEN by the Republicans! Al Gore won that election!
Sounds like whoever wrote this for Joe to post is following the same path as Comegys, Smith and Shields. Are you afraid of the real truth coming out. Barrack is fighting for the people of america and you are trying to shut him up. Just like Cohen and Campbell, he will prevail.
i dont think the presidency even matters anymore, just the head puppett. this country was built on the local level. the federal goverment seems so un-reachable to most americans i believe. people are so busy with their daily lifes and bills they dont get involved anymore,(shit look at the local counsel meetings). i think until all of us are involved on a local basis that it doesnt really matter who is president. power needs to be given back to the states for us to see any real change. these political elitist are so lobbied in washington its like a bunch of ping-pong balls in a lottery machine. im starting to lose faith that it will ever change if the federal goverment isnt stripped of some of its power.
Yes, I will vote for you Barack.
This would be funny except that it is True! Why no mention about radical Michelle O. She is going to make a sad and embarrassing first lady. McCain unfortunately is no great shakes either. Looks like a repeat of Dole / Clinton an old war hero against a smooth talker. Wish Bob Barr could at least get his message out to shake things up. Barr / Root 08 for me.
Character asssasination at it's finest. Why mask your racism with humor? Why not just throw your hood back on and parade a picture of that on this blog? Now that's something you can be proud of.
Joe,why don't we take up a collection and get some bumper stickers printed. I would display this with pride.
Got to tell you this election is about to drive me over the edge. I have not missed a vote since 1964 but this could be the first. Just do not see the point, no matter who we elect it same o, same o.
At-least I am changing parties to Libertarian and voting for Bob Bar, he does make sense when he talks.
Interesting to state that Obama has had a "complete lack of any legislative achievement". We could actually discuss a number of his legislative achievements, but if you want to take this tact then let's put things on a level playing field. Consider that George Bush's political experience came from that of being governor of Texas. At least Obama's experience as a senator has given him some experience in the federal goveronment, of which, George Bush had none. As for claiming that Obama has spent 8 years critical of Bush for his youthful drinking, I challenge you to provide evidence of this. This is another of many rumours that is purpotrated as truth. If you'd like to search for evidence then go onto a database such as LexisNexis or a variety of poltical archives. If Obama has spent 8 years being crtical of Bush for drinking or a variety of other things he's rumoured to have done, then the transcripts will be there. Do some research and support your argument.
vote ron paul, hes the only one that makes sense
Joe you prove once again that you are an idiot. It is clear from your posts that you are the typical red-neck, right-winged puppet of the republican party.
I am sure that YOU voted for Bush not once, but twice (you probably still have the W'04 sticker on your pickup)
McCain is a terrible choice for president. His economic plan will bury this country in debt. His environmental plan panders to big oil. His war plan is a joke. He is supposed to be the expert on national security but has been wrong from day one!
Obama voted against the war in Iraq from day one. He understands the real national security threats and wants to fortify/secure Afghanistan with more troops. That is where the war really is! Obama wants to secure Pakistan as well. He has been right about the entire mess we are in.
What does McCain think -- Iraq is the key, we should invade Iran, and talking to anyother country is appeasement (even though it worked with North Korea). McCain has flip-flopped on nearly every one of his issues. His economic advisor who has shaped his plan is the same guy who deregulated the commodities and mortgage market and put us in the financial mess we are in. McCain's health plan offers more incentives for big insurance companies. McCain's tax plan will benefit only those in the highest income levels -- is that you Joe?
Give me a break. If you want to attack Obama, that is fine. But talk to the actual issues at hand not the right wing propaganda that your beloved Fox News and Rush Limbaugh spew out. Don't be a sheep -- think for once!!
RON PAUL LOOKIG GOOD!
Anyone who would vote for Obama is lacking good critical thinking skills. What does he stand for? Is it the same as what he stood for a year ago, a month ago, or last week. He has more positions than the Kama Sutra. He runs a poll and then changes his position to match. He's a phoney and a liar!
Hey Joe all you white people should be glad to have a black President, this way if something goes wrong you won't have to waste alot of time to blame someone for the problems over the last eight years.
"i dont think the presidency even matters anymore, just the head puppett."
Sorry. It does matter. It makes a huge difference. Sure, the guy at the top is always a puppet of sorts. There's only so much that one person can know and do. But the election is really about which "corporation" we put in charge. Which brand do we want to try out for a while.
It seems to be the the current GOP needs a good cleansing. McCain will surely lead us to more pain and trouble. His policy proposals are naive. The economy will suffer and our military will suffer too...
Obama may be no better, but at least we give ourselves a chance to fix things that are so wrong.
Call me a fiscal conservative for Obama.
The thought of President Hussein makes me ill.
I hope you people wake up before it is too late.Do us all a favor and do some reading and inform yourself before you go into the voting booth.
Taxes are high enough already, the government is too intrusive.
Hussein said that America is the greatest country in the world and I can change it! WHAT??
To all Hussein supporters, inform yourselves before you go to the voting booth. It's the smart thong to do.
THONG? No thanks, I don't want to imagine Obama in a "thong."
"Taxes are high enough already, the government is too intrusive."
Sorry, 9:46. Taxes are NOT high enough, since the National Debt is exploding under Bush. Only an idiot would try to run a war and do a tax cut at the same time. No fiscal conservative can honestly support what the Bush administration has been doing...
Taxes need to be raised on the wealthy, and government spending needs to be decreased. This is exactly what Obama will do. This is what McCain will not do.
As for "intrusive", never in my lifetime have I seen more intrusive stuff than what the Bush administration has been serving up.
The choice is easy.
What better to support the idiot we have in there now? What were his qualifications?
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