This question brought to you by Jennifer:
Driving down any given road, I see "roadside grave sites." Some with flowers, wreaths and balloons, others with solar lights, pictures and hand-built white crosses.
Do you believe that when you die in a car accident, your soul remains at the accident site, even though your body is buried or ashes have been kept or spread for loved ones to mourn properly?
Have you lost a loved one due to a car accident? If so, where do you mourn your loved one? And where do you leave your tokens of affection for your loved one?
Do you believe that people should leave tokens of affection at the accident site? Why or why not?
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15 comments:
Over the past five years I've lost two loved ones on the roadways. I believe their souls went to Heaven. Due to being so very young I can't see it any other way. I do go to the graves on special dates. As for where the accidents were I can't bare to go there. Fortunately both were on roads that I don't travel and when I do I can go up a block to avoid it. I think of these two every single day. I don't have to leave my home to pay respect to either one because I still love them each and every day.
I think that leaving tokens at the grave site is actually good because it reminds other drivers to be careful. Every time I drive past one, I feel a little sad for the loss of whoever died there, but I'm also reminded of how fragile we all are and I'm a little extra careful.
That was like five or six questions. My ghost will haunt this blog. Hahahahahaaaaaaaaaa(think Vincent Price voice)!
I think it's a little gruesome, but if it helps people cope with their loss I can understand putting a marker there on the anniversary. HOWEVER I don't think "permanent" sites or solar lights should be allowed because it's very distracting to drivers.
I think it's STUPID!
I was in a very serious car accident when I was 17. I died and was brought back, it was that serious. I couldn't drive past that curve for years. I should mention I was a passenger in the car.
Nevertheless, these solar lights, mini crosses, fake flowers, GIVE IT A REST!
To me, it's like an advertisement piece for the "feel sorry for me foundation." The point of Cemeteries is to mourn there, NOT on the side of the road.
There should be laws against it, period. It's creepy and it's bad enough we have to come across those pesky Police Officers checking radar, let alone a signal of sorts that someone died at that location.
I can see it now. Let's go to the site little Antwan died at. The whole Family gets together at the site and four of them are hit by cars on the side of the road. Get a grip. Why fix something that isn't broken, go to a Cemetery and let everyone, (and I do mean EVERYONE) rest in peace.
Honestly, There should be a limit to the time.For instance 6 months, a year. for the displays Then it has to come down.
I understand that some want to show the world their grief, and they want to be reminded, and remind everyone else.
I am a believer in the Sacredness of Death, and the spirit.
I think that if we put reminders every where people died we would be in a constant graveyard. Can you imagine any site any war was fought, much less the hospitals, or the nursing homes, covered with crosses and flowers?
We have burial grounds for that purpose. I think that is is place to grieve, that is the sacred place set aside for those who want to mourn. Not the public roads.
We see these grave side reminders everyday. Although I'm sorry for the loss of a loved one, give it a rest. I've already told my Dear Hubby that if I died in an accident, and if he or the kid put stuff on the roadside for me...I'd come back to haunt them! Just let me go and move on!
This is a topic of discussion quite often when my husband and I are traveling.
I think about the property owners...Like how long is long enough to leave a roadside memorial in your front yard. Some of them are right in there in front of houses. Does that mean the property owner has to cut the grass and weed whack around the site? I want to know who knows what proper protocol on this is.
I go to my loved ones grave to visit and leave a pretty stone on top of the grave. I leave flowers on birthdays or when I want to visit. But I don't go to the place where they died and erect a memorial.
This would require a memorial in a bathroom in Hollywood, and in my living room in Pocomoke.
I personally don't get the roadside memorial.
My husband on the other hand jokingly (I hope) says he wants a great big roadside memorial. He wants pictures, flowers, solar lights, poetry the whole roadside memorial nine yards.
I've told him if I am in an accident with him and I survive, there is no way I am going to do this for him. I love him, but I think it's tacky and he will be buried and I will occasionally visit his grave.
I have also told him, he better not do that to me. As a matter of fact when I went in for heart surgery last year I wrote a note to my children stating that I was to be cremated, and not allow their father to add any additional weirdness to the ceremony!
I believe you should do whatever
as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.
Here's a great idea. How about we ALL go to PRMC and load that place up with the same kind of crosses and solar lights all over their lawn when loved ones die there. I mean, after all, it's the same thing, isn't it?
im going to the body farm, where they can study my rooting body and maybe one day help catch a child killer or a serial killer. dont mourn for me, my life has been full and crazy. remember the good times, not where i had my worst time and died.
Joe, I am in Total agreement with your 1st comment. It's creepy and tacky. It is dangerous. I believe that when a loved one dies, they are no longer in that place. They are spirits, they are not rooted down. When i die, I am being cremated and scattered. 'You can't find me....!!!' j/k Come on people, did you actually bury your loved one there? 'We' on the Westside lost a dear friend a few years back, and as a memory, a few placed a deer skull and an American Flag on a Telephone Pole on Clara Rd. You can see it on a telephone pole on the way to the Red Roost....And guess what....It's not distracting....Most people don't even notice it! I do not agree with it like I said before, but it was a dear friend of a whole community. No solar lights, or teddy bears. Just a one token of his, half way up the pole, and an American Flag......We are on a Contry back road that has mostly local traffic, except for the restauranters. (sp?)
I understand why people do this. However, I don't agree with it. The roads are dangerous enough and these memorials are just a distraction. I have one at the red light down the street from house and the man has been dead for 6 years maybe a little more. Granted, it's a nicely made cross with flowers attached. It's very tasteful, but how long should it be out there? Luckily, I have never lost anyone to a car accident. I hope not to and if I do I do hope I have the sense not to do this.
I am quite sure it is illegal,though rarely enforced. The state "gray area" calls it litter.
Lost a good buddy bout ten years back. He was coming back from the Bearded Clam early in the am on his Harley. Woman pulled out in front of him in Whaleysville and killed him. There was once a wreath on that tree. No need for a wreath, I never pass that site that I don't think about one of the best friends I ever had. Steve, I miss you to this day!
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