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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

SCHOOL - 1957 vs. 2007

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counsellors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arri ves, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.

1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher who hugs him to comfort him.

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Teacher is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Blowing up a red ant bed?That is so cool!I wish I had thought of that when I was a kid.Once I did gather up both red and black ants and put them together in a large box to see if I could start a battle.Sometimes you would find ant wars out in the yard. David Sapp

Anonymous said...

This brings back the good ole days! And so very true all the way around. Back when i was a kid, the belt and other types of punishment were the ordinary thing and guess what - we all turned out better than the kids today! Teachers are not allowed to punish kids anymore - the system stinks!

Anonymous said...

Sad, but absolutely true!

Anonymous said...

Over 30 years of teaching and what you posted as humor does not go far enough. Bad behavior such as calling your teacher a fxxxxxg bixxx is now a disability because Johnny has impulse control problems or possibly a attachment disorder. Teachers are told they must change their methods and that after being called a fucxxxx
bitxx must take the child back after a 20 minute time out..... a great lesson in accountability and acceptable behavior.... Must also be the teacher's fault that Johnny no longer does homework, studies or listens in class. Parents of decent good average children need to let the school system know that when one child is allowed to disrupt day after day with little or no consequence it is robbing every child (their child)in the room of an education....No wonder home school and private schools are flourishing.....

Anonymous said...

How abot another one, little Mike gets feeling cocky one day and talks back to his teacher. Teacher grabs Mike and literally thows him down the hall to the pricipals office, where the pricipal continues by chewing Mikes a## out and threatenthing to call his dad.
1969 I,,,,,,Er I mean Mike begs forgivness of pricipal and offers to appologise to teacher and promises no more problems ever, if he doesn't make the call to dad. 2008 Parent sues school and mother goes on national news, teacher looses job and Mike turns out to be spoiled dilinquent that wears his pants so low, his ass is on the outside and a shirt so big he looks like a weeble as he spends the rest of his life on the streets going nowhere.

Anonymous said...

The old days were better. Now there is no respect and people are just plain retarded. Now High School is like prison. Gangs, violence, drugs, killings,etc. Just because people are stupid to realize whats going on. Stupid plans to reduce these issues are pointless. I go to a local High School and in order to go any where wed have to sign out and have a pass. You get stopped anyway in the halls if you have a pass or not. Its ridiculous

Anonymous said...

This is all so true... My younger brother made a bottle popper --- "The Works" toilet bowl cleaner inside of a 20 oz bottle and add a lil piece of aluminum foil. Anyways it makes the bottle expand and pop. Today it was called a Bomb but back then it was called a childhood prank it doesn't explode just expands and pops. He now has a criminal record and had to be on house arrest for 4 months. They used him as an example. Because his dumbass decided it would be neat to show his friends at school. (And this last day of school was also his 18th birthday) Even the judge told him it was crazy but he had to follow the laws, and that they had done worse when they were kids....