Attention

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not represent our advertisers

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Politially Correct

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and Wes t Virginians will no longer be referred to as "hillbillies." You must now refer to them as "Appalachian-Americans"

And furthermore HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a " BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
3. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
4. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes " VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is " OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He " INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

1 comment:

Tim Chaney said...

LoL Good one! I gave up beer and soda to reduce the size of my grain storage facility : )