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Monday, January 22, 2018

HOW THE INTERNET STARTED, ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE

Please do not Google or check this with Snopes.

They will lie to you. Trust me!

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew to the People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drum heads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began. And that's the truth.

I would not make up this stuff.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amen.

Anonymous said...

Guarantee you that Maxine waters and shiela jackson lee would believe this

Anonymous said...

It sounds reasonable to me.

Anonymous said...

6:46 AM, That is an absolute guarantee!! You can add Pelosi and Schumer to that list too.

Anonymous said...

6:46 oh yeah of course they believe it but the problem is their constituents believe it also.

Anonymous said...

6:46 of course they believe it but the problem is their voters believe it also.

Anonymous said...

Makes just as much sense as a talking serpent, a burning bush, a lady turning into a pillar of salt or a flood that only one family survives.

Anonymous said...

dang and I thought I had a good imagination

Anonymous said...

You forgot the part about Al of Gore inventing the drums.

Anonymous said...

oh, i don't think google has anything to do with God & i don't think God has anything to do with google.

Anonymous said...

i don't think God has anything to do with google.

January 22, 2018 at 9:44 AM

God has everything to do with everything, even the naysayers

Anonymous said...

8:47 ..All That Stuff Did Happen Boy